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It makes it difficult to bond and have intimatecy if your girlfriend hasn't left her last relationship.
Is a FWB a relationship?
Personally, I would have brought up the FWB topic sooner with the new guy. Especially 20 years ago.
But these days, my impression from most men on this forum (not you) is that if they had lucked into a comfortable FWB relationship, and they met a pretty girl who agreed to one real date with them, they would not immediately dump the FWB. They would wait until they were pretty sure things were headed in a serious direction with the new girl.
Now, IRL, I have been in this situation. I was the FWB who the guy was keeping secret from the new girl, who was clearly in love with him. I told him, 'If you don't tell her, I will.' And I dumped him. That was, coincidentally, in week 4 I think. He had been saying he would tell her since before their first date, and I cut him 4 weeks of slack. IIRC they had 3-4 dates in that time. No sex. In retrospect, it was still too much.
It makes it difficult to bond and have intimatecy if your girlfriend hasn't left her last relationship.
And yet, he bonded, felt intimacy, and married her. It only makes it difficult to do that if the other person knows there's another relationship ongoing. In the OP's case, there was no relationship. There was just an occasional FWB. We don't even know how often she was seeing the FWB. Maybe they only hooked up once or twice in that that first month. That's not a relationship.
HOW would i feel about this * no opinion* each relationship is differant why bother to bring it up to a bunch of strangers ?morals are also a personal choice ,
And yet, he bonded, felt intimacy, and married her. It only makes it difficult to do that if the other person knows there's another relationship ongoing. In the OP's case, there was no relationship. There was just an occasional FWB. We don't even know how often she was seeing the FWB. Maybe they only hooked up once or twice in that that first month. That's not a relationship.
Thats because she presentted him a false image of who she was. Now had he dated her and she was honest with who she was? It would be reasonable to believe he would have made different choices. Thats my point.
And i believe his wife knew that and that is why she didn't say anything til now.
Thats because she presentted him a false image of who she was. Now had he dated her and she was honest with who she was? It would be reasonable to believe he would have made different choices. Thats my point.
And i believe his wife knew that and that is why she didn't say anything til now.
It sounds like more of a misunderstanding to me, particularly over the definition of the word "single".
I agree she was single as per her definition i.e. "free to date anyone she wants", but to the OP he thought that meant single as in "not dealing with anyone else".
In the beginning while dating him she was sleeping with another guy and not telling him. He wasnt dating anyone else because he believed he was working on something that would have meaning. Me personally if after 2 dates, if it looks like me and a girl are going to have more dates i usually have the talk about being open or exclusive while dating and check if we have same expectations or motivations.
If his wife had told him she was sleeping with another guy while dating him then he would probably be like myself, leave my options open and date other people too or just not continue dating her.
Thats because she presentted him a false image of who she was. Now had he dated her and she was honest with who she was? It would be reasonable to believe he would have made different choices. Thats my point.
And i believe his wife knew that and that is why she didn't say anything til now.
No, she didn't. At that point, she didn't owe him anything.
Thats because she presentted him a false image of who she was. Now had he dated her and she was honest with who she was? It would be reasonable to believe he would have made different choices. Thats my point.
And i believe his wife knew that and that is why she didn't say anything til now.
Explain this "who she was" concept.
People (men or women) who have a FWB going on when they meet a prospective romantic partner don't chirp to their new interest that they have a f*ck buddy. And a lot of the men on this forum have said they don't have a problem with a woman they've begun to date seeing other guys in the beginning. Some have said they just assume that's the case, but they expect that when they decide (together) to become exclusive, that their partner will be truthful. And that's what the wife did at the time. So why is this suddenly a problem?
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