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Originally Posted by DennyCrane
There are two issues to watch out for. First is one that someone already raised, which is that people will infer too much about you. If they see you're rigid about your diet, they may think you're rigid about everything else. IMO, this is silly. People can be strict in one area of their lives, but very flexible in other areas. But it speaks to the laziness of some people that they'd rather make assumptions about you than wait to see how things turn out.
The second issue is dealing with other people's insecurities. As someone who also eats healthy, I've noticed that others will interpret my eating habits as a criticism of them even though I've said absolutely nothing about they eat. I'll order grilled fish and steamed vegetables and skip the bread basket. They'll see that and assume that I'm preaching to them even though I'm just eating my food quietly. I think the reason some people react this way is because, deep down, they know they should eat better. And being around someone who's health conscious makes them feel embarrassed of their own choices.
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Or because deep down YOU think they should know that they should eat better, and you are projecting your judgement onto them, aka, YOU feel they SHOULD feel guilty or embarrassed? Your phrasing here is telling....lots of "shoulds" and the word "know" used as if your preferences are universally "better".
I'm not at any extreme - not a health nut nor into junk food as any staple in my diet, so my view is not out of guilt nor condemnation. I don't feel preached to by people who
truly don't harbor negative views of others' food preferences, but people don't need to SAY something to convey their attitude. A lot is communicated via the face or body or just general emotional air. Lots of people convey their judgement without realizing it. This is why so many health nuts or those with finicky diets come across as self-righteous. Foodies can come across this way too, by snubbing more ordinary food in favor of their gourmet and exotic choices.
I see a lot of projection on
both sides, which in itself is why it may not work for a health nut to pair up with someone who has a very different take on food. It may take a level of flexibility and non-judgment that most people don't have, regardless of dietary preferences.
I went on a date once with a vegan (who admitted he sometimes ate sushi and ice cream because he likes it - this kind of inconsistency is sooo common in such people, which makes their self-rightoues all the more annoying), and he asked me how I liked my meat dish. Seems innocent? While on the surface it seemed so, the voice tone and body language was strained, and it revealed a negative judgement of my choice. If called on it, I doubt he'd have copped to such an attitude. Instead he'd say he was just asking me if I liked my food. Knowing I am a meat-eater, he had no reason for surprise or right to really judge me at all either.
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Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
I've never run into this. People on special diets can be divided into two categories: those who are voluntarily on a diet (most vegetarians and vegans), and those who need to be on a restricted regime due to health reasons: people with food allergies, people who need to stay low-carb for health reasons, people whose doctors have told them to avoid animal fat for health reasons. The latter category of people have no choice, so they're generally not judgmental of other's food choices. Most rational people in the first category don't judge others, either. Some are vegetarian for religious reasons (Buddhists, for example). Only fanatical types in the 1st category are judgmental of others, in my observation.
Nothing wrong with sandwiches, burgers or pizza. I eat them myself. The point was about greasy fast food. But if it works for you, then, whatever. Don't people make sack lunches for themselves anymore? Everywhere I've ever worked, the staff did that.
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Oh, but they aren't divided that neatly. Lots of people use allergies or health reasons as an excuse to not eat certain foods. They don't need an excuse, because preference is pretty valid when it comes to food; but they will use one so as to raise their choice to something above a choice, to give it some universal validity. These fall into your latter category and are not necessarily lacking a judgmental attitude, although they'd have you believe it's not a choice for them.
Some who really do not come up with reasons to severely limit their diet but really must be careful can also be judgey out of resentment - they are angry they cannot eat bread anymore like you can, angry they cannot indulge much without getting fat when you stay thin, etc.
I have a friend who has gotten into all these very strict all-natural and raw diets, and she knows a lot of it is extreme, so she does one of two things:
- Tries to use pseudo-science from online charlatans to justify some choices. When this is presented as fact, it is definitely condescending and annoying.
- Suddenly develops an allergy to a food group she wants to give up. This is obvious as its preceded by comments on a desire to give up such food as her health gurus advise its not ideal - then suddenly she just cannot stomach it...hmmm....
This is also a common strategy in those with eating disorders - finding reasons to limit what they eat, often attributing to "health".
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lol! People can be so irrational! lol Thanks for the laugh. Really, people should be focussed on enjoying your company and enjoying their own food, instead of fixating on what someone else is or isn't eating. It reminds me of people who get angry when someone chooses not to have alcohol at dinner or a reception of some sort. Usually it's only closet alcoholics that do this, but sometimes it's regular folks who for some reason feel judged. Everyone should just chill and enjoy the occasion instead of getting hung up on someone else's choices. I guess some people just aren't comfortable with individuals who deviate from the norm....?
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I've never seen someone get angry about another refusing alcohol. Discomfort comes into play because people who choose not to drink often do judge those who do drink, and they needn't say anything (as I noted above - feelings are often conveyed without words). OR, people may wonder if the non-drinking person is an alcoholic, and so they may worry their own drinking will create a bad atmosphere for them.
Lastly, in a social setting, the odd person who doesn't participate in something everyone else is doing is going to create awkwardness. There's a sense of them being left out and/or spoiling the spirit of camaraderie. I am in NO way advocating doing something because everyone else is, but you have to accept this when choose a less common path.
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