Ex-wife ditches second husband for another woman (girlfriend, lesbians, marriage)
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I've been divorced a little over six years now. My ex-wife and I were married when I was 23 and divorced when I was 30. We had no kids, and other than getting raked through the coals over money and property, it was a clean break. I never spoke to her after we parted ways. I lost the house, everything in it, and every dime I had in savings as part of the settlement, because I'm in business and that was the only way my business wouldn't have been liquidated as well. I had a crappy lawyer, and there's nothing I can do about it now. My wife left me for another guy (a computer tech she'd met at work) who promptly moved into my house literally the day after I left. Before the ink was dry on our divorce a few months later, she married this same guy. I've never met him before, nor have I ever cared to.
Within the first couple of years, they'd bought a much nicer of a home than the one she and I shared together. They also had a child together. I heard about all of this through third parties, as the area we're from is rather small and close knit. Meanwhile, I was forced to file for bankruptcy a couple of years after the divorce, because I could no longer shoulder the credit card debt and the payments on the refinancing of the house, which was money I never saw but was paying back.....for her. As for my credit cards, I basically was forced to max out my credit during that first year just to keep my business afloat. My ex had dropped the "bomb" on me during my off-season, but not before secretly raiding our savings and draining every account she had access to about 2 weeks earlier. The week after I left my house and moved into my parent's basement, I had about $5500 worth of bills to pay....and about $200 in my wallet and $2k in my checking account. Everything else was gone. Oh, and plus I had a lawyer to pay. Almost forgot about that one.
I lost most of my friends in the first couple of years because I was busy trying to put my wreck of a life back together instead of defending my reputation (which I didn't know was being pummeled at the time). When a couple gets divorced, friends and acquaintances talk about it. It's called gossip, and everyone does it to an extent. Well, my ex-wife made sure to take advantage of this, and the result was a tsunami of slander that I didn't even think she was capable of fabricating. I heard that I abused her physically, that I cheated on her, etc. My favorite though was the shadowy and cryptic "I can't even speak about it. It's too bad to even talk about" explanation that she gave about the events surrounding our divorce. That was pretty crafty if you ask me. Of course none of those things were true. I was utterly blindsided when she asked me for a divorce. As for our relationship, my only complaint was that she'd become distant during the last year. She was boning the computer tech at her work (who she'd later marry), so that would explain it. There was no abuse and no cheating on my part. Had there have been, I would've been slapped with a PFA, which I wasn't.
I slowly started to regain my life back over the years, and now things are pretty stable. Being self-employed, I don't ever think I'll own a home again because it's impossible for me to prove all of my income, and those programs have been long gone since the housing crash of 2008 (same year I got divorced). Nevertheless, my business hasn't suffered much and my debt is much lower now than it's ever been. I'm starting to rebuild my credit too. Having said that, I don't think I'll ever be the same as I was before I was put through the divorce. I feel like it wrecked my spirit in a lot of ways. I've been waiting patiently for that feeling to go away, but it hasn't. It's just stayed the same....Then last week, bomb #2:
I learned that my ex-wife was getting divorced again, but this time she'd left husband #2 for another woman. If that's not enough to digest, I've heard from a few different people (she and I haven't spoken since the night I left the house) that she's openly admitting to the fact that BOTH of her marriages were scams all along, that she'd always been GAY, but she needed to get herself financially stable until she came out of the closet, because her family would disown her afterward. She needed someone to help pay for college (me), put a roof over her head while she was in college (me), help her get out of debt from her early years of being stupid with money (me), help her with her first house (me), and provide financial stability for her while she "found herself" career wise (me). She wanted a kid and a bigger house, and knew that I neither wanted to move nor would I be very rational or reasonable with her if we had a kid and she tried to take it away from me...So she ditched me for husband #2, got what she wanted, and apparently is now completely at peace, financially set to begin living her life as a gay 35 year old single mother.
W.....T.......F? So.....I guess I was never really married? I've got nothing against gay people, but I don't appreciate being a means to an end for her. I'm sure her second husband would agree with me there. I'm kind of laughing about this and enraged over it at the same time. I dunno what to think. I wish I could sue her for what our sham marriage and divorce cost me, but I doubt that's possible. My jaw just drops in amazement. This woman nearly drove me to the Budd Dwyer retirement plan six years ago. Not sure what to make of it all. Thoughts?
I've been divorced a little over six years now. My ex-wife and I were married when I was 23 and divorced when I was 30. We had no kids, and other than getting raked through the coals over money and property, it was a clean break. I never spoke to her after we parted ways. I lost the house, everything in it, and every dime I had in savings as part of the settlement, because I'm in business and that was the only way my business wouldn't have been liquidated as well. I had a crappy lawyer, and there's nothing I can do about it now. My wife left me for another guy (a computer tech she'd met at work) who promptly moved into my house literally the day after I left. Before the ink was dry on our divorce a few months later, she married this same guy. I've never met him before, nor have I ever cared to.
Within the first couple of years, they'd bought a much nicer of a home than the one she and I shared together. They also had a child together. I heard about all of this through third parties, as the area we're from is rather small and close knit. Meanwhile, I was forced to file for bankruptcy a couple of years after the divorce, because I could no longer shoulder the credit card debt and the payments on the refinancing of the house, which was money I never saw but was paying back.....for her. As for my credit cards, I basically was forced to max out my credit during that first year just to keep my business afloat. My ex had dropped the "bomb" on me during my off-season, but not before secretly raiding our savings and draining every account she had access to about 2 weeks earlier. The week after I left my house and moved into my parent's basement, I had about $5500 worth of bills to pay....and about $200 in my wallet and $2k in my checking account. Everything else was gone. Oh, and plus I had a lawyer to pay. Almost forgot about that one.
I lost most of my friends in the first couple of years because I was busy trying to put my wreck of a life back together instead of defending my reputation (which I didn't know was being pummeled at the time). When a couple gets divorced, friends and acquaintances talk about it. It's called gossip, and everyone does it to an extent. Well, my ex-wife made sure to take advantage of this, and the result was a tsunami of slander that I didn't even think she was capable of fabricating. I heard that I abused her physically, that I cheated on her, etc. My favorite though was the shadowy and cryptic "I can't even speak about it. It's too bad to even talk about" explanation that she gave about the events surrounding our divorce. That was pretty crafty if you ask me. Of course none of those things were true. I was utterly blindsided when she asked me for a divorce. As for our relationship, my only complaint was that she'd become distant during the last year. She was boning the computer tech at her work (who she'd later marry), so that would explain it. There was no abuse and no cheating on my part. Had there have been, I would've been slapped with a PFA, which I wasn't.
I slowly started to regain my life back over the years, and now things are pretty stable. Being self-employed, I don't ever think I'll own a home again because it's impossible for me to prove all of my income, and those programs have been long gone since the housing crash of 2008 (same year I got divorced). Nevertheless, my business hasn't suffered much and my debt is much lower now than it's ever been. I'm starting to rebuild my credit too. Having said that, I don't think I'll ever be the same as I was before I was put through the divorce. I feel like it wrecked my spirit in a lot of ways. I've been waiting patiently for that feeling to go away, but it hasn't. It's just stayed the same....Then last week, bomb #2:
I learned that my ex-wife was getting divorced again, but this time she'd left husband #2 for another woman. If that's not enough to digest, I've heard from a few different people (she and I haven't spoken since the night I left the house) that she's openly admitting to the fact that BOTH of her marriages were scams all along, that she'd always been GAY, but she needed to get herself financially stable until she came out of the closet, because her family would disown her afterward. She needed someone to help pay for college (me), put a roof over her head while she was in college (me), help her get out of debt from her early years of being stupid with money (me), help her with her first house (me), and provide financial stability for her while she "found herself" career wise (me). She wanted a kid and a bigger house, and knew that I neither wanted to move nor would I be very rational or reasonable with her if we had a kid and she tried to take it away from me...So she ditched me for husband #2, got what she wanted, and apparently is now completely at peace, financially set to begin living her life as a gay 35 year old single mother.
W.....T.......F? So.....I guess I was never really married? I've got nothing against gay people, but I don't appreciate being a means to an end for her. I'm sure her second husband would agree with me there. I'm kind of laughing about this and enraged over it at the same time. I dunno what to think. I wish I could sue her for what our sham marriage and divorce cost me, but I doubt that's possible. My jaw just drops in amazement. This woman nearly drove me to the Budd Dwyer retirement plan six years ago. Not sure what to make of it all. Thoughts?
This is just awful. I'm so sorry you went through all of this. With the Budd Dwyer reference I'm assuming you are from PA? The divorce laws in this state are completely unfair. My friend is about to go through something similar to what you first experienced. His wife cheated on him. Now she stands to get half his 401k, pension, and who knows what else, all because she purposely trashed their marriage.
My ex also went through something similar on the other side of your story. He married a high school girlfriend because he felt bad that she had no family. She came out ten years into their relationship, and she will also get half his 401k plus she gets alimony. While I realize that those who are LGBT often don't face their sexual orientation or even realize it until a certain point in their life, everyone has pretty much told me that she knew and was basically using him as a personal ATM.
Really, what she did has nothing to do with her being gay and everything to do with her being unscrupulous and selfish. I wish I had some good advice for you. The only thing I can suggest is maybe consult an attorney for a civil suit, but that may not be worth your while or your money. I'm sorry you went through this. I hope you do come out on top eventually. There's a saying that there's no better revenge than a life well lived, and it sounds like that's vengeance you deserve to have. Good luck.
Could have done without paragraphs 2,3 and 4. Theresome (actually this was my first thought). Are they hot lesbians or fat lesbians? My two moms. Some men are more attractive to bisexual women than others. Karma.
This is why they say, when choosing a partner, choose well. Just curious - what was it about your now ex wife that drew you to her? What kept you interested, enough to propose to her?
I'm glad for you that you are now rid of her, she sounds like a very narcissistic individual. Six years may seem like a long time to get yourself back together, but it really isn't. Bravo for you, righting yourself and moving on after this major sucker punch your ex dealt you.
My thoughts are why do you even care at this point? You have been divorced six years, haven't talked to her or seen her, recovered financially and moved on.
Why are you allowing what she has done continue to interfere with your current life?
Wow that's terrible. I do believe she will earn what's she done back... She can't possibly be a happy person. You were faithful, helped who you thought was a faithful wife and did what seems right so keep your head up and you'll find a faithful woman.
Some people are users.
It's been 6 years, move on.
This. Now you know.
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Now you know.
