I've had the absolute worst experience with dating lately (women, kid, sex)
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Sorry, I guess this is more of a vent session than anything. Unless you have any insights or a pep talk you think you can provide.
Talk about a morale killer. In the last few months, I've been on a number of dates with the worst women that I could have possibly went out with. These are women who, after a first date or meeting, completely ignore me afterwards, are wishy-washy when it comes to setting future dates up, who don't initiate plans or communication with me. I kid you not, this is becoming a regular trend for me and it's pretty upsetting/frustrating. During the dates, they do not let on that they're having a bad time. In fact, we seem to have a good time during all of these dates. They even agree to meet again in the future. But when I try to initiate with them later on, it's radio silence or a real lack of enthusiasm on their part.
For starters, I'm not a strange or awkward guy with my life in shambles. I have a good job, I'm educated, my life is pretty well put together. I've always considered myself decent looking and having a warm, welcoming personality. I'm shy/introverted, but I'm confident and friendly and I think that comes out over time. I've discussed this topic at length with some of my close female friends, and they are as baffled as I am about what's going on with me. They all think that I'm a "catch", that I'm handsome, that I'm put together well, and don't understand what's going on either.
Have you went through a slump like this, where it seems that people of the opposite sex seem repelled by you after meeting with you just once? This is how I'm feeling lately, as if I'm perceived as some creepy, loner guy that women see as pathetic and not worth their time. As a result of all the frustration, I've decided to completely remove myself from the dating market. I feel like I'll be saving myself from more disappointment and heartbreak. I just wish I could figure out what I'm doing to make women want to avoid me after we've met for the first time. I mean, I have plenty of good friends who appreciate me for who I am. I'm not sure what I'm doing to leave the wrong impression with these women who, after a first date, I personally have not written off completely myself for any particular reason. So why do they seem to be writing me off?
Sometimes women (and guys) are only really looking for a hookup. They're not actually looking for something substantial. So maybe you're not meeting their cheap sex appeal standards, and they're writing you off because of that.
Some people are incredibly shallow. You've got to remember that!
Your forever gal is out there. You will know it when you find her and she will too. I think taking yourself out of the game right now is probably a wise decision. It's easier to find someone when your not looking!!!!!!!! Best of luck to you.
Not all, but probably the majority are from OKC. Last week, I went out with a woman who I met on OKC and I thought the coffee date went as well as it could. I sent a text to her yesterday and didn't hear from her until this morning. I sent another text to her today about setting up future plans, and I have not heard from her at all. However, last night I talked (or rather listened most of the time) to a girl at a bar. She gave me her number and agreed to go out some time this week. I texted her earlier today confirming my number and I didn't hear anything from her. I've also shared my story here about a girl who I met through a coed sports team who has been lukewarm at best. Not to say that I haven't ever had success with these avenues, but these are the kinds of things that have been going on as of late.
Not all, but probably the majority are from OKC. Last week, I went out with a woman who I met on OKC and I thought the coffee date went as well as it could. I sent a text to her yesterday and didn't hear from her until this morning. I sent another text to her today about setting up future plans, and I have not heard from her at all. However, last night I talked (or rather listened most of the time) to a girl at a bar. She gave me her number and agreed to go out some time this week. I texted her earlier today confirming my number and I didn't hear anything from her. I've also shared my story here about a girl who I met through a coed sports team who has been lukewarm at best. Not to say that I haven't ever had success with these avenues, but these are the kinds of things that have been going on as of late.
Not all, but probably the majority are from OKC. Last week, I went out with a woman who I met on OKC and I thought the coffee date went as well as it could. I sent a text to her yesterday and didn't hear from her until this morning. I sent another text to her today about setting up future plans, and I have not heard from her at all. However, last night I talked (or rather listened most of the time) to a girl at a bar. She gave me her number and agreed to go out some time this week. I texted her earlier today confirming my number and I didn't hear anything from her. I've also shared my story here about a girl who I met through a coed sports team who has been lukewarm at best. Not to say that I haven't ever had success with these avenues, but these are the kinds of things that have been going on as of late.
What you're describing sounds like flaking which is very common. I don't think it's just you. After reading some of your posts on montanaguy's thread, it sounded like a lot of the same thing I went through, I actually think I had it worse than you.
Okay, now you have friends and I remember you saying there were some girls who liked you, but didn't feel like they were a good match. Your friends and those girls don't seem to think there's anything wrong with you which leads me to think that there probably isn't anything wrong with your personality. If there was something wrong, I think other people would notice.
Alright, now the girls you met on OKC, when you talked to them, did you happen to ask how long they'd been using the site?
Women are polite. They'll politely sit through the evening, even if they've decided you're not their type. Some will even be agreeable to meeting in the future so as not to cause an awkward scene, then they do the fade-out after they're out of your zone. So you've been on a few dates where the women weren't feeling it. That's par for the course. If you get to date #2 with 1 out of 10, consider that to be a decent batting average.
If you have a bunch of women friends, can't any of them set you up, or include their gf's at a party or group hang-out with you?
Women are polite. They'll politely sit through the evening, even if they've decided your not their type. Some will even be agreeable to meeting in the future so as not to cause an awkward scene, then they do the fade-out after they're out of your zone.
Sad but true. At this point in my life, I tell the guy straight out if I don't think there's a connection. But just a couple of years ago, I wasn't so direct. A lot of women aren't.
Well, it's generally who I'm matched up with. And if they "like" me, I generally pursue them (I figure they'd be easier to get along with opposed to those who didn't "like" my profile). I'm a pretty mellow, introverted, analytical type person. So I think the women that I'm being matched with tend to be more or less similar. Definitely not going for sorority girls or anything like that would seem like a significant mismatch.
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