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Am I wrong to feel hurt that hubby puts his mother before me?
we've been together a decade, while he remembers her birthdays and every single thing for her, he forgets anything regarding us.. he forgot our anniversary last year.
We've been discussing having kids and me staying home to raise them but his mother feels it's not right for him to support us while I sit at home and do nothing.
She said she doesn't approve of "our" decision, so naturally now he doesn't either.
He's threatening divorce if I don't change my decision and go along with his mother.
This isn't normal but he won't stick up for me or himself.. what would you do? Am I wrong to feel hurt?
Don't have kids with this man. A husband is supposed to put his wife first, and stick up for her. You should find a guy who's willing to do that for you (and you reciprocate, of course). It's normal. Putting a parent above a spouse is a recipe for a failed marriage. He's been clear with his priorities, so it remains for you to decide whether to stay or look for someone who's more devoted to you.
Am I wrong to feel hurt that hubby puts his mother before me?
we've been together a decade, while he remembers her birthdays and every single thing for her, he forgets anything regarding us.. he forgot our anniversary last year.
We've been discussing having kids and me staying home to raise them but his mother feels it's not right for him to support us while I sit at home and do nothing.
She said she doesn't approve of "our" decision, so naturally now he doesn't either.
He's threatening divorce if I don't change my decision and go along with his mother.
This isn't normal but he won't stick up for me or himself.. what would you do? Am I wrong to feel hurt?
Don't have kids with this man. A husband is supposed to put his wife first, and stick up for her. You should find a guy who's willing to do that for you (and you reciprocate, of course). It's normal. Putting a parent above a spouse is a recipe for a failed marriage. He's been clear with his priorities, so it remains for you to decide whether to stay or look for someone who's more devoted to you.
I agree with this. Maybe I am old-fashioned. But I feel spouses come 1st, above parents and children. You made the mistake of marrying a Mama's Boy. So, I would question why you stuck with him in the 1st place and married him, knowing mommy always came 1st.
But in any case now, you will either have to spend your life obeying his mother, because he'll always side with her, and you can never win. Or, you can get out now-divorce.
Chances are, he's always been this way, and will be until his mother passes away, and he probably isn't gonna change his stripes with this. You can try talking to him. but chances are, he'll go and tell his mother, like he apparently does. Why is she even getting into how you raise your kids. Apparently he's been going to her and telling her.
Really, I can understand you being pissed. But the choices are slim.
1. Stay and be 2nd place
2. Divorce
I mean, he shows how little he values you if he'll divorce you for not siding with mommy. And if you have kids with him, things will get worse, and if you split then, a custody battle will follow, because mommy, now grandmommy, will want her son to keep the kids, and having children involved in all that isn't good for them. So, then you may end up stuck in an unhappy marriage for at least another 20+ years, for the kids.
So, I say, PLEASE DON"T HAVE KIDS WITH THIS GUY!
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