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This begs a different question: why is the intention to "hook up" or any other form of temporary intimate engagement? My apologies for being naive, but what if the man's intention is to.... look for a wife? Why necessarily should the meeting in a bar end withe the couple going to somebody's house? Instead, the objective may simply be to exchange an e-mail address, and then to spend 2 weeks writing to each other.
If it were understood that a bar is merely a place to make mutual introductions, bars wouldn't have their louche and nefarious reputation. Problem solved - for both men, and women.
I didn't say my friend's intention was to "hook-up". I said she wasn't opposed to it. I can't answer any of your questions as I've never gone to a bar to hook-up, look for marriage material, look for someone to go home with or to get someone's email address.
For myself, the bar IS merely a place to listen to music, watch sports, hang out with my friends that I came with, shoot pool and then to head home when that time arrives. It's not a place for intimate conversation, romance or meeting new people.
It's a complete waste of time if I talk to a woman for 1 hour at the bar, only to later hear her slip in a reference about her boyfriend.
If you're worried about her having a boyfriend then you are doing it too logically. You should be able to know if you are building something or not and focusing mainly only on that. Maybe she's currently on a cheating spree because her current boyfriend is an unbelievable ******* (who cheated first?) and when she finds the right guy she'll dump him.
I've always hated bars and really loud nightclubs with DJ's spinning records, never had much luck. That whole scene just is not for me. Now on the other hand, going to venues to see live bands I had tons of success. When I was in my mid to late twenties living in Seattle, I'd go out four or five nights a week to see bands. Some nights I'd get several phone #'s. Some just ended up being brief friendships, others were more. The great thing is that it was so easy to strike up a conversation, whether it's about a t-shirt they are wearing or the band playing or such.
The large majority of women I see at the bars are with a group or are with their boyfriend (or waiting for him to arrive). Maybe I'm going to the wrong type of bars?
I would question your assumption that bars were the place to find lonely single women in the first place. Bars are social environments - where people generally go to socialize - so yes the majority of PEOPLE (why make this about men or women) you find there are going to be with others - be that a group or a partner or whatever.
Try to involve yourself in charities, a language course, sports, voluntary work, big brother stuff, do some mentoring for children or coaching, if you are a christian go to church and involve yourself on something...THEN you will find quality women.
Women usually go to bars to vent over boyfriends, exes, most of the time they aren't in the mood to really meet somebody new. Specially if they are in a pack.
Sure, you can be a "love kamikaze" and try to pick one up at a bar, and maybe you will get lucky...but isn't my style. I prefer to do the "hunt" more straightforward: one on one.
The large majority of women I see at the bars are with a group or are with their boyfriend (or waiting for him to arrive). Maybe I'm going to the wrong type of bars?
=c) You don't go to bars...how can you be an authority on their skank-level?
I have a girl's night-out about once a month and the group ranges from 4-10 women and at some point during the night, we'll probably hit a bar (or 5). I've never witnessed any of us being mean to anyone, even when a guy believes he should join us (which isn't exactly what we're looking for), we're courteous. We are, specifically, there to hang out with each other.
Only one girl in our group is not opposed to hooking up with a guy she doesn't know, but she does have criteria for a booty-call. Interestingly to me, she doesn't have that same physical criteria for a relationship...she lowers her physical standards a good deal for a guy that can satisfy her humor and mental ideals.
Single girls, by themselves, are prey in bars. They run the risk of getting roofied or if they've had too much to drink, of having some guy happily trying to pull her to the door so she can be "safe" at his house. Often times, people intervene here...I know we have. I mentioned this once before on another forum and was actually shocked at how offended many of the men were by our interference. They believed it was hard enough to get a "date" without having people jump in and protect the drunk or drugged women from a guy who was going to "get lucky". Their response alone would have deterred women from going to the bar alone.
That all came from a close relative of mine. I'm not for sure if it's true or not.
Your relative must be really charming to call women "skanks" on the premise of drinking alcohol in public.
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