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As many of you know, I am drawn to dou che ba gs. I am a nice person, have all my s h i t together in business and work related matters, come from a nice family. But when it comes to guys, I have HORRIBLE taste. They aren't nice or even handsome. Not inside and not outside.
So 1,5 weeks ago I met a guy through POF and I fell madly in love. I have never in my life experienced that and I never got as much back as I put in. We have spent every day together since last Friday and already talk about the future. IT IS JUST WAY TO EARLY. IT CREEPS ME OUT but I can't stop myself.
He brings flowers, opens doors, has a job, cooks for me, financially stable, never married, no kids, 9 years older, same hobbies, same likes and dislikes, very romantic, intense, boyish cute and clumsy, lives nearby, respectful, attentive, treats me like a princess, and I am speechless.
And additional to that, he is a 10 in my book of looks. I have a pic of him and can't stop staring at it. He is so HOT, I cannot keep my eyes off him. The best thing is, he doesn't feel like he is handsome and is not arrogant at all. He already shows me around to his friends.
He meets all my criteria and beyond. I didnt know a woman over 30 can even hope to find a guy who fits EVERYTHING.
I am unfocussed at work, keep forgetting passwords. Don't wear any make up because my face is glowing.
In two days I will fly home to Germany for two weeks to see my family. I hope to clear up my head there a little.
Now I am asking married people who are in a happy relationship with each other:
Is this possible that this feeling stays? I am SO WORRIED it is all too much and can only go south from hereon. It is too good to be true. I am waiting for the moment where it all comes crashing down on me. I have never had such a good guy and accepted his love.
I either put in a lot and get nothing back. Or I get a lot and aren't attracted. THis time, everything FITS.
OHMYGOD type infatuation doesn't last forever. I think you probably know this. But a good guy is a good guy, and if you find him to be a good guy (even after all the butterflies settle a bit), odds are, you're in good shape.
Give it time. You're in the giddy stage. He has some flaws...everyone does. How you handle one another's flaws a few more months in will be telling.
Also, just because butterflies fade, that doesn't mean that the feelings that remain are less. They're different, but if it's a good relationship, they're not less.
I married the "too-good-to-be-true" guy. Does he have flaws? Yep. Is he perfect? Nope. Same as me. These things weren't a let-down to me...they were humanizing. This guy you've met isn't perfect...but is he pretty darned great? Time will tell.
Last edited by TabulaRasa; 12-17-2014 at 09:50 AM..
OHMYGOD type infatuation doesn't last forever. I think you probably know this. But a good guy is a good guy, and if you find him to be a good guy (even after all the butterflies settle a bit), odds are, you're in good shape.
Give it time. You're in the giddy stage. He has some flaws...everyone does. How you handle one another's flaws a few more months in will be telling.
Also, just because butterflies fade, that doesn't mean that the feelings that remain are less. They're different, but if it's a good relationship, they're not less.
As many of you know, I am drawn to dou che ba gs. I am a nice person, have all my s h i t together in business and work related matters, come from a nice family. But when it comes to guys, I have HORRIBLE taste. They aren't nice or even handsome. Not inside and not outside.
So 1,5 weeks ago I met a guy through POF and I fell madly in love. I have never in my life experienced that and I never got as much back as I put in. We have spent every day together since last Friday and already talk about the future. IT IS JUST WAY TO EARLY. IT CREEPS ME OUT but I can't stop myself.
He brings flowers, opens doors, has a job, cooks for me, financially stable, never married, no kids, 9 years older, same hobbies, same likes and dislikes, very romantic, intense, boyish cute and clumsy, lives nearby, respectful, attentive, treats me like a princess, and I am speechless.
And additional to that, he is a 10 in my book of looks. I have a pic of him and can't stop staring at it. He is so HOT, I cannot keep my eyes off him. The best thing is, he doesn't feel like he is handsome and is not arrogant at all. He already shows me around to his friends.
He meets all my criteria and beyond. I didnt know a woman over 30 can even hope to find a guy who fits EVERYTHING.
I am unfocussed at work, keep forgetting passwords. Don't wear any make up because my face is glowing.
In two days I will fly home to Germany for two weeks to see my family. I hope to clear up my head there a little.
Now I am asking married people who are in a happy relationship with each other:
Is this possible that this feeling stays? I am SO WORRIED it is all too much and can only go south from hereon. It is too good to be true. I am waiting for the moment where it all comes crashing down on me. I have never had such a good guy and accepted his love.
I either put in a lot and get nothing back. Or I get a lot and aren't attracted. THis time, everything FITS.
I attached a pic to my profile
That feeling won't stay - but if it's the right person - it won't exactly go away. It will just change. All you can do is go with it and see where it takes you! Sounds good so far!
Usually, the better it starts, the worse it ends for me.
I put in 150% and the guy gives 100% but non committal. After 1-2 months he goes down to 20% and I am holding on to it for years, hoping it gets better, still giving 150%.
This guy now gives 150% back and even if he goes down to 100%, it would still be awesome.
Now I am worried if he keeps it up, I will not be able to accept all that and withdraw. Because I am wired to not have successful relationships. I cannot believe I am suddenly able to accept NICE guys.
Me and my wife are about to celebrate our 20th anniversary soon. We dated for 7 years before we got married too. I met her when she was 18 and my feelings for her are as strong and deep as ever. Mind you, she stays in great shape and is generally a superwoman in my eyes holding down a demanding job and taking care of the household as well, making sure our toddlers are fed/taking them to/from preschool, keeping the house clean etc etc.
I do my part as much as I can too, helping with chores and taking care of the kids as needed. But she's a lion, straight up. Having said that, I guess my point is that it definitely takes 2 to keep the flame alive and a big part of the reason why I'm so committed to her is because she's amazing. Maintaining that level of commitment is not always easy with life's demands. I'm finding that life is not getting easier as we age, quite the opposite.
Good luck to you both! I hope it works out for you, you seem like a catch despite your previous woes.
Usually, the better it starts, the worse it ends for me.
I put in 150% and the guy gives 100% but non committal. After 1-2 months he goes down to 20% and I am holding on to it for years, hoping it gets better, still giving 150%.
This guy now gives 150% back and even if he goes down to 100%, it would still be awesome.
Now I am worried if he keeps it up, I will not be able to accept all that and withdraw. Because I am wired to not have successful relationships. I cannot believe I am suddenly able to accept NICE guys.
Don't withdraw. Just stay aware of how you are feeling about him and how you feel when you are together. Don't ignore red flags but don't invent them. People put effort into something that is important to them. If he is putting effort into the relationship, it's because you are important to him.
So 1,5 weeks ago I met a guy through POF and I fell madly in love. I have never in my life experienced that and I never got as much back as I put in. We have spent every day together since last Friday and already talk about the future. IT IS JUST WAY TO EARLY. IT CREEPS ME OUT but I can't stop myself.
It creeps you out because--ding, ding, ding SOCIOPATH ALERT!
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