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Here is the story of a girlfriend. She was a pretty undergrad who had the eye of every male on campus. She is a little shy and reserved and so not a lot of them approached here. but a few bold ones did. One of them was her senior who was not definately GQ but could pass for an OK guy. She started with him just for the sake of it and half way in dating process he already fell for her and she wanted to break up with him(mainly b/c the excitement was over for her) but he begged her to continue the relationship. She didnt want to hurt him so she did.. Now they dated for 6 years, during those years she did say she loved him(it was just a word after all) and had been intimate with him, there was nothing fantastic in that aspect, infact she despised it!!..now its been almost 6 years, she has never told him that and he is planning on asking for her hand in marriage.: She keeps telling us(her BFFS) that sex really is not everything and maybe she will be ok. I keep telling her to break the whole thing up and that it is not right. Now she is considering it and shes getting overly anxious , as this news will not only break the relationship but also him b/c he's divinely inlove with her...
Forum members give suggestions, should she just hurt him, or suppress her feeling and learn to love him
Here is the story of a girlfriend. She was a pretty undergrad who had the eye of every male on campus. She is a little shy and reserved and so not a lot of them approached here. but a few bold ones did. One of them was her senior who was not definately GQ but could pass for an OK guy. She started with him just for the sake of it and half way in dating process he already fell for her and she wanted to break up with him(mainly b/c the excitement was over for her) but he begged her to continue the relationship. She didnt want to hurt him so she did.. Now they dated for 6 years, during those years she did say she loved him(it was just a word after all) and had been intimate with him, there was nothing fantastic in that aspect, infact she despised it!!..now its been almost 6 years, she has never told him that and he is planning on asking for her hand in marriage.: She keeps telling us(her BFFS) that sex really is not everything and maybe she will be ok. I keep telling her to break the whole thing up and that it is not right. Now she is considering it and shes getting overly anxious , as this news will not only break the relationship but also him b/c he's divinely inlove with her...
Forum members give suggestions, should she just hurt him, or suppress her feeling and learn to love him
Come on.
If she wants to live a life of misery because she, for some reason, cannot express her own damn feelings, then she should definitely proceed with the marriage.
If she is not able to take initiative and can only be with guys who will boldly approach her then she should consider that she is with exactly who she should be with and get over her ego. What exactly does she want? Another but "better" LTR or to start flinging?
I think she should consider "cheating" to see how she would fair out there, maybe she'd find quickly (before actually doing anything with anyone) that she's right where she should be.
Status:
"Just livin' day by day"
(set 26 days ago)
Location: USA
3,166 posts, read 3,360,802 times
Reputation: 5382
Sounds like my mom in a way. Always worried about hurting someone else's feelings. Even if it means sacrificing her own. Miserable way to live if you ask me. Yes, their feelings may be hurt temporarily but eventually they'll get over it and move on
She should have ended this a long time ago. Contrary to popular belief, love does not conquer all. Despise is a pretty strong word, and that tells me there is little if any room for improvement. Normally I prefer to stay out of peoples business, but if the marriage goes through I see it being a huge train wreck.
6 years. Well, if she doesn't like sex and she gets along with him ok go for it. I know a woman at a bar I go to like this who is now getting some on the side because she's married to Mr. Love Dud. Actually, theres usually a couple of these at almost any pub you go to.
Marriage is the surest way to kill passion that I know of.
Maybe they'll make it.
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