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Again, anyone who accuses any user of needing psychological help is violating the TOS. It is inappropriate and immature. And I will click report regardless of who you are talking about.
That's not what the discussion was about, at that stage. It was about a member who said he was shy, and was trying to overcome it, because he recognized that it was an obstacle to meeting women and getting into a relationship. The situation was very specific in that regard. Don't read yourself into it. It was about someone else, someone who had expressed the need for self-improvement.
Someone who recognizes their obstacles is the perfect person to speak to a professional. Many times the person will know that if they make some changes, they can get past what's holding them back, but they just don't have the tools to do it by themselves. A professional can help with the how-to part.
I can trim my own bangs, but I need a hairdresser to cut the hair on the back of my head because they have the tools and skills to do it, so I don't make a mess of things because I don't know what I'm doing. Speaking to a counsellor or therapist is not different. We're not meant to try to figure out everything ourselves.
Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
4,375 posts, read 4,070,027 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011
Speaking to a counsellor or therapist is not different. We're not meant to try to figure out everything ourselves.
Yes but that isn't how it goes in this forum. Someone will say I have X or Y problem in my love life. And the more immature users will say "oh well that means you have a mental problem, you need to see a psychiatrist for the appropriate medication." Any time I see words to that effect I will report them.
Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
4,375 posts, read 4,070,027 times
Reputation: 2158
Just because someone did not have their first lover at the age you did, or doesn't have the same amount of success in finding people who reciprocate their feelings, does not mean they have mental problems.
Yes but that isn't how it goes in this forum. Someone will say I have X or Y problem in my love life. And the more immature users will say "oh well that means you have a mental problem, you need to see a psychiatrist for the appropriate medication." Any time I see words to that effect I will report them.
Suggesting someone see a counselor has nothing to do with thinking that someone has a mental problem or that they should be on medication. No one at all has said that--that's your projection because you have a chip on your shoulder about this subject. Most types of therapy don't involve medication at all, it's about making behavioral changes. If someone is stuck in a rut and can't get themselves out, seeing an impartial outside party who has training in counseling or psychology makes sense. It's not much different than hiring a personal trainer to get better at fitness.
Can I just throw in that absolutely everyone might benefit from some counselling at one point or another in their life. I've never heard of a counsellor/therapist who has turned away a patient because their life is perfect and don't need help with anything.
I've never had "mental" issues or depression or anything like that, Granted, I'm only 18. But when I was in my senior year of high school, I had a lot of anxiety and stress, because I was so worried about college and my grades. I stopped sleeping. I tried sleeping pills but I would still go to classes absolutely exhausted. I started doing this weird thing where I would pull my hair, strand by strand. My teachers noticed that the stress/lack of sleep seemed to be getting to me so they told me to go see a counsellor at school. At first, I thought it was silly because I have never had issues. But I went anyway and it turned out to be a really big help. No one put me on pills or told me I had problems. She simply tried to guide me into a better lifestyle by helping me organize myself and getting better with time management. I started following a very strict schedule and eventually, my sleeping got back to normal (because I wasn't staying up all night stressing about an essay) and my grades reflected that. I also stopped tugging on my hair lol.
I didn't have mental problems, but I did have an issue that was affecting my life. I tried fixing it on my own, but it didn't work. So I had to get help from someone else. I wasn't diagnosed with anything or prescribed any sort of medication. But I did have anxiety and stress problems, so the counsellor helped me work through that. Nothing to be ashamed of. I don't think it would be offensive for me to tell someone to see a counsellor if they feel like they're getting overwhelmed. I was overwhelmed and if I hadn't gotten help, I would've failed all my classes and been bald lol.
Yes but that isn't how it goes in this forum. Someone will say I have X or Y problem in my love life. And the more immature users will say "oh well that means you have a mental problem, you need to see a psychiatrist for the appropriate medication." Any time I see words to that effect I will report them.
Then you need to grow a thicker skin. There will always be people on this and other forums who'll take shots at you. I have two guys doing this to me on a thread I started, but I haven't gone so far as to report them. Instead I sit back and laugh. Why are these guys taking a thread that wasn't about me specifically and using it as an opportunity to criticize me? I think that says a lot about them. But in your case, going so far as to report them? Really?
Yes but that isn't how it goes in this forum. Someone will say I have X or Y problem in my love life. And the more immature users will say "oh well that means you have a mental problem, you need to see a psychiatrist for the appropriate medication." Any time I see words to that effect I will report them.
This is an outright fabrication. No one has ever said that on this forum. No one but you has ever used the term "mental problem". No one on this thread has recommended psychiatric help. That is not appropriate for the level of issues some members have presented here.
Own your fabrications, 78. This is your mind at work.
Yes but that isn't how it goes in this forum. Someone will say I have X or Y problem in my love life. And the more immature users will say "oh well that means you have a mental problem, you need to see a psychiatrist for the appropriate medication." Any time I see words to that effect I will report them.
It's not a violation of the forum guidelines to suggest someone seek therapy.
It's a valid suggestion when a person appears to have problems that exceed the limits of a forum discussion.
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