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MichaelReilly, I sympathize with you, I really do. I'm 46 and I don't have a smartphone. I tried one for a while and it cost more per month and I didn't utilize the features so when it broke I went back to a dumb phone.
I don't feel a need to be available to the world 24/7. I go hours without checking my phone. I meet people who think that is rude of me. I say my phone is for my convenience, not theirs.
It is nice to be able to communicate with my teens, but there is no one else in the world who can't wait a while before they talk to me.
So maybe you can find a woman who won't need you to be attached to your smart phone, maybe not.
My daughter is 17, and she is pretty dependent on constant communication with her friends via smart phone. IMHO she is too dependent on it for validation for everything she thinks/does. When she has a BF, she texts with him constantly, and does expect to hear back right away. Could she be happy in a relationship with a guy who was not available by phone all the time? I don't think so..........unless she was with him all the time. So I can see why your ladyfriends don't see how you can survive without a smartphone.
I do remember those days (pre-internet and pre-smartphone) when it seemed so important to be constantly in contact with my boyfriend, either together a lot or on the phone for long periods of time talking about nothing. We didn't do anything without consulting each other. So I don't know that the smartphone can take all the blame.
Now that I'm 40+ and divorced, I'm happy to keep my business to myself and I don't need a constant audience for my daily activities.
You would need a cell phone to call customers, say if you went to check on one of the lot cars and didn't want to walk all the way back to the office (more efficient). Or, let's say you were taking someone for a test drive, something happens and you need to call the dealership or a tow truck. I suppose you could just borrow the other person's phone, but if they happen to follow your thought process you guys would be waiting for someone with a phone to stop for you.
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I just don't understand your objection, especially given you live in NYC which is one of the most on the go cities in the country.
Wow you've got some snarkiness
My clients don't need to call me, that'd be wierd. Even if I had a phone I wouldn't give it to the people who come in to buy things (it's s luxury brand and the vast majority of my customers seem to be in three groups (spoiled girls with rich dads/boyfriends, tacky Europeans/persians, and people who are likely drug dealers and pay cash and bring their moms to put the car in their name) and none of them will get my number.
2nd, yes phones may have been around that long just like computers were around in the 50s:..but in 1983 how many people did you know/your elders know with 'the brick'? It's not necessary
As for pay phones, yes they have dismantled a lot of them but in busy areas, in libraries and in nightlife districts they are still there and get lots of use
I hate the stereotype about NYC..it's my hometown, it's just like any other place, there is no special "go go go" and whoever says that moved here from Ohio or saw Times Square on vacation. The only time I'm go go go is when I'm in a rush like everyone else. It feels wierd for me to have a constant connection. It's like unnatural and takes away from my feeling of independence: people are never really alone now. You can always be bothered if you have that thing in your pocket. It is not the be all end all life existed before the phone. I hate the clinginess ugh
This isn't a matter of right or wrong, it's preference. Your preference may limit your options, so you have to accept that, or change your preference.
Especially amongst your peer group. Most of the people who've been supporting your lack of technology have been 10, 20+ years older than you.
I'm not a phone person. I'm the first person to say that many people abuse the privilege of having a powerful computer in their pockets. I don't sleep with my phone next to my bed. It's often in another room, turned off. At the same time, a smartphone is a tool. You own it--it doesn't own you. If you want to go home and sit by a landline and an answering machine, that's your trip, but you do have to accept that your friends and potential dates will be texting and posting and you won't be getting the messages. You're missing out on how your peers socialize.
Last edited by fleetiebelle; 03-08-2015 at 08:51 AM..
I wanted to get a general consensus and not argue. Everyone is entitled their opinion but I do get mad when someone presents theirs in a way that is belittling to me. I wish I had asked people to post their ages.
I get why people like it, I just don't get why it is impossible to bend otherwise. I know you are gonna tell me I should bend, but I actually don't own these things like a smartphone or whatever, so I don't see why it's mind blowing to say "I know mikey doesn't have a cell so if I need to tell him something I am gonna call him". If I did have the option to text or talk on the phone while out by carrying a cell phone but didn't answer it like you said, that would make me rude because I am willfully ignoring someone..but I actually don't have one so why is it such a big deal to call me at home? There is no other option to contact me because it's all I have...so what is so bothersome about it? I am actually curious as to what's actually behind it.
Is it the fact that I havent "adapted" so to speak?
Is it the fact that I'm not always readily available?
Or is it the fact that people just don't like talking anymore?
It feels wierd for me to have a constant connection. It's like unnatural and takes away from my feeling of independence: people are never really alone now. You can always be bothered if you have that thing in your pocket. It is not the be all end all life existed before the phone. I hate the clinginess ugh
I'm with you, 100%. Sure would be awesome if we had a week where everyone had to lock up their phone. It would be amazing to see people walking around actually looking where they were going. Families eating in restaurants actually talking to each other.
Especially amongst your peer group. Most of the people who've been supporting your lack of technology have been 10, 20+ years older than you.
I'm not a phone person. I'm the first person to say that many people abuse the privilege of having a powerful computer in their pockets. I don't sleep with my phone next to my bed. It's often in another room, turned off. At the same time, a smartphone is a tool. You own it--it doesn't own you. If you want to go home and sit by a landline and an answering machine, that's your trip, but you do have to accept that your friends and potential dates will be texting and posting and you won't be getting the messages. You're missing out on how your peers socialize.
I don't even give out my cell number to anyone but close friends. If a business or an acquaintance wants to call me, they have to call my home number and leave a message. And yep, I listen to messages when I get home. I'd actually MUCH rather do that then get all those calls on my cell. Frankly listening to voice mail on my cell is a PITA.
I don't even give out my cell number to anyone but close friends. If a business or an acquaintance wants to call me, they have to call my home number and leave a message. And yep, I listen to messages when I get home. I'd actually MUCH rather do that then get all those calls on my cell. Frankly listening to voice mail on my cell is a PITA.
Yeah, but would you say that your kid, who's the same age as the OP, feels the same way? OP can do whatever he wants, but the truth is that 20-something/college-aged people are texting furiously back and forth on their smartphones. If he doesn't get the text about happy hour, or if he's not home when his friends call, or his friends don't want to take the extra step to contact him, then he'll have fewer opportunities to have those face-to-face interactions.
Yeah, but would you say that your kid, who's the same age as the OP, feels the same way? OP can do whatever he wants, but the truth is that 20-something/college-aged people are texting furiously back and forth on their smartphones. If he doesn't get the text about happy hour, or if he's not home when his friends call, or his friends don't want to take the extra step to contact him, then he'll have fewer opportunities to have those face-to-face interactions.
Yes - it is definitely different for him. BUT...he had no cell service on his entire cruise last year...and he was so surprised that he really enjoyed not having that electronic leash. Now if he leaves his phone home - it's really no big deal. Agreed that *most" college age kids are literally tied to their phones...but I don't think that makes it a good thing - I think it's unfortunate. And anyone that rejects that behavior - well, I think that person is just a far more appealing person, in general. Even to other 20-somethings. I've always found that the ones that don't "follow the crowd" are the ones that wind up being the ones that are the most happy and successful.
Yeah, but would you say that your kid, who's the same age as the OP, feels the same way? OP can do whatever he wants, but the truth is that 20-something/college-aged people are texting furiously back and forth on their smartphones. If he doesn't get the text about happy hour, or if he's not home when his friends call, or his friends don't want to take the extra step to contact him, then he'll have fewer opportunities to have those face-to-face interactions.
So you're thinking I will miss out on "sudden" type plans? I never really have done that before except for like if i call someone after work like my best friend and see if he wants to go to the diner or something. With most everyone else I thought people don't do that kind of stuff and make plans in advance...besides my best friend who now lives in another boro most of the people ive grown up with have left the city because the neighborhoods have changed so much so I've lost touch with people...I to go out and meet people but it actually becomes awkward for me when it's like "text me so I have your number" and I have to explain that. I just really don't like my generation.'I know every one looks at the past with rose colored glasses but I don't identify with people my age at all. I don't follow the same pop culture, most of the music I listen too comes from 1970, I'm just old school and have nothing really in common with people my age and people wind up thinking I'm wierd when I don't understand any pop culture reference or know what a "one direction " is (apparently they sing). It's just isolating for me and the technology thing compounds it. I feel like I look like an out of touch person who is so wierd and outdated because they actually want to have a conversation in person
Or something.
I guess it's probably best if I keep to myself anyways, it's awkward when I don't. Thanks everyone for helping me on this thread have a good day bye
-Mikey
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