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Most of the time it's because people cheat or people change.
Personally I'm not sure people are suppose to be together forever....there are some rare cases.....but as I stated: It's RARE.
I have only heard of maybe one couple staying together until death and that was my grandmother and my grandfather, even then they had MAJOR issues that would cause a break up.
Once you have some real-life dating and relationship experience, you'll probably understand. Right now, you have an "ivory tower" idealism that won't survive exposure to reality.
Teenage relationships are completely different than adult relationships, so I'm not even going to address that other than to say that when you're not even fully grown and don't even know who you are yet, it's nearly impossible to choose a forever-mate. People learn, grow, and change a LOT in their 20s. It's a whole different ballgame.
With my divorce, it came down to two things: We were friends who should have stayed friends, and a few years into the marriage he started dropping hints about wanting kids, even though we agreed from the third date that neither of us wanted them. It happens.
As for the rest, here is a pretty good guide to killing a marriage:
Teenage relationships are completely different than adult relationships, so I'm not even going to address that other than to say that when you're not even fully grown and don't even know who you are yet, it's nearly impossible to choose a forever-mate. People learn, grow, and change a LOT in their 20s. It's a whole different ballgame.
With my divorce, it came down to two things: We were friends who should have stayed friends, and a few years into the marriage he started dropping hints about wanting kids, even though we agreed from the third date that neither of us wanted them. It happens.
As for the rest, here is a pretty good guide to killing a marriage:
For all my faults I'm only guilty of nagging. I feel a little better.
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My breakup happened because my partner was involved in some illegal scam with her mom, refused to take responsibilty for her role claiming to be a victim which she clearly wasn't and hiding key facts of the situation from me... sucks for me but that's life. Sometimes you take a chance and het Fked, other times it lasts.
You're too young to be my friend, but last night one of my closest friends has been thinking of divorcing his wife because she will not give him any kind of affection at all. No sex, no kissing, no holding hands, no physical affection whatsoever. This happened after they had 2 children together. He says they're basically best friends living together.
And before any people here think that it's his fault, I've talked to him about what he's tried to do to help her. From being the primary bread winner to coming home and cleaning the entire house by himself while watching the 2 children by himself and cooking meals, finding sitters so they can have date nights, and giving her nights off to be by herself or around friends, and yes I've seen small parts of his on FB since I'm friends with both husband and wife. She's completely shut him out of affection including sex. He's trying to get her to go to counseling with him, but I don't know if she's up to doing that. So, I've been hearing his thoughts on divorce, and maybe asking other divorced people about there divorce.
I knew he was marrying too damn early. Now other women are hitting on him, and he's sexually frustrated.
This is so common and it takes a lot to get out of that cycle, especially if she's home with the kids all day and feels like a Mom Blob instead of a woman. It's tough because he just wants some closeness, but she probably takes it like he's just helping out because he wants to get some. The Mr. and I went through a similar patch after our 3rd kid was born, as he was an exceptionally difficult baby for the first year and a half; between that and the other two kids, by the end of the day I felt like I had been chewed up and spit out. The Mr. wanting some loving after I finally collapsed at night just felt like one more thing that someone wanted from me. It took time, patience, and him adjusting his expectations (i.e. being willing to settle for a quickie)... but we got it back
Quote:
Originally Posted by Prince_Frog
You're too young to be my friend, but last night one of my closest friends has been thinking of divorcing his wife because she will not give him any kind of affection at all. No sex, no kissing, no holding hands, no physical affection whatsoever. This happened after they had 2 children together. He says they're basically best friends living together.
And before any people here think that it's his fault, I've talked to him about what he's tried to do to help her. From being the primary bread winner to coming home and cleaning the entire house by himself while watching the 2 children by himself and cooking meals, finding sitters so they can have date nights, and giving her nights off to be by herself or around friends, and yes I've seen small parts of his on FB since I'm friends with both husband and wife. She's completely shut him out of affection including sex. He's trying to get her to go to counseling with him, but I don't know if she's up to doing that. So, I've been hearing his thoughts on divorce, and maybe asking other divorced people about there divorce.
I knew he was marrying too damn early. Now other women are hitting on him, and he's sexually frustrated.
This is so common and it takes a lot to get out of that cycle, especially if she's home with the kids all day and feels like a Mom Blob instead of a woman. It's tough because he just wants some closeness, but she probably takes it like he's just helping out because he wants to get some. The Mr. and I went through a similar patch after our 3rd kid was born, as he was an exceptionally difficult baby for the first year and a half; between that and the other two kids, by the end of the day I felt like I had been chewed up and spit out. The Mr. wanting some loving after I finally collapsed at night just felt like one more thing that someone wanted from me. It took time, patience, and him adjusting his expectations (i.e. being willing to settle for a quickie)... but we got it back
No she works too. She works 4 days a week 10 hour shifts. He works at least 5 days a week 8 hour shifts minimum, and is on call to cover shifts when they get call offs. He's the RN supervisor at the local hospital in the ER department. To say that his days are infinitely more hectic is probably an understatement. And I hear it from both sides about there days.
She comes home exhausted, and then she wants him to do the majority of the housework and chores. I know that I'm painting a bad picture of his wife, and it's not because I'm his best friend, I see both sides and she doesn't want anything to do with him after she's settled in at home. He's lowered his expectations, he doesn't expect sex every night, probably not even 2 times a week. He just wants physical affection mostly, a kiss and a hug. He told me last night he hasn't had sex in a year at least and she won't even hold his hand in public. He's frustrated, he's tried to help her, he's trying to get into counseling, she does seem cold on everything. I told him something might have happened to her after having the 2nd child, and he agrees, but she refuses to get help.
The hell is he going to do? What he's going through IS hell.
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I feel a little better.
