A couple weekends ago, my girlfriend and I were out at a bar. There were a group of guys (one who my friend knows and another we have both seen out/she matched with on Tinder). Well, one of the guys in the group was someone I thought was attractive. Apparently his married friend saw me looking and came over and asked me which one of his friends I was looking at. I laughed and pointed out which one.
Well, his friend started asking me about myself and joked that he was "interviewing" me to see if his friend and I were compatible. We chatted for about 20 minutes and during this time, I also asked him what kind of guy his friend looked like. He was attractive and I wasn't interested in getting introduced to someone who had the "player" like mentality. He said his friend was not like that at all. He then said that he felt like we were pretty compatible, so he introduced us.
His friend was a little drunk. I was unsure of the "level" of drunkness because he did tell me he was drunk, but wasn't falling all over the place (I know some people can contain their drunkness pretty well). We chatted for a good 30-40 minutes. We talked about what we like to do and just joked around. My friend was also talking to the guy she had matched up with on Tinder, that was his friend as well.
Around 1:40 a.m. (bars close at 2 a.m. here), the guy I was talking to tapped his friend and told him it was time to go. Since I do have a little bit of lack of self-confidence when it comes to guys (be burned waaaaaaay too many times), I felt like he was trying to end our conversation. Then he turns to me, gives me a hug, says "love you" (hahahaha), that it was nice to meet me and they leave.
So here is where I am - I felt like we had really good conversation, we were able to joke around, but I was confused why he didn't ask for my number. I'm not sure if that is a red flag, but maybe he could have just been drunk and ready to go and didn't even think about it. I know there are times I've wanted to ask a guy for their number but didn't, whether it was because I didn't think they were interested or I was drunk and didn't think about it. Even my friend was confused about him not asking for my number, since she said both her and his friend said that we looked like we were into each other.
The next day, I looked him up on FB. Turns out, a recent girlfriend of mine was FB friends with him. So I reached out to her to get the scoop. She said that he was a great guy and that she didn't think he had a girlfriend, but was looking. Then she asked what she could do to help and did I want his number? I told her I thought that may be too much, and I'm not one to EVER put myself in a situation for rejection, so because he didn't ask for mine, I was a little weary.
So I told her not to worry about it, that I didn't want to put her in the middle of it, and that I'd reach out to him. So early last week, I asked him to be FB friends. He accepted that day, but I didn't reach out and he didn't either. I told my girlfriend from that night that I wanted to ask him to get a drink, but she said she thought it would be best for me to wait until after our girl's trip to FL this past weekend, just to avoid appearing clingy/desperate. I also tossed back and forth the idea of not saying anything at all, but part of my New Year's resolution was to be more "to the point", especially when it comes to dating. One could say that if he was interested, he would reach out, but for all I know, he could be shy or think I wasn't interested. What do I have to lose?
So that brings me to today (long story, short, huh
).
I want to send him a message on FB to ask him to hang out. But I'm not sure what to say. And I have 2 options. I could ask him to grab a drink sometime this week, just him and I. Or, a couple of my guy friends were celebrating their birthday (they are twins) at a bar in my city. I could ask him if he wanted to meet us there (Its a HUGE party, its not like it is a small group of close friends).
And I wanted to say something like "Hey! I meant to reach out earlier but it was nice meeting you the other weekend at [bar name]. Not sure what your situation is, but I'd love to get a drink or something, maybe this week or weekend, if you're interested"
Thoughts?
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