Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
My and my gf are together for cca 10 months. So we have planned to go on vacation for this weekend (somewhere 2 hours driving away to the sea, beach since the summer is almost there ). So, few days ago she said she cant wait to go, was counting the days till we go, etc... and I said I really dont have a feeling since the weather was not really summer like for a few days. I said I hope it ll be a good weather down there because it wont be much of vacation otherwise... She said she doesn’t care, she wants to go and will go even if that means she ll go alone. So I was looking for a weather forecast a few days back and the forecast wasnt bad – sunny and cloudy but no rain. So I texted my gf 3 days ago ‘Its gonna be sunny good night’. She replied good night. We didnt talk about the vacation after that.
We suppose to go on vacation today after work. So yesterday I packed my bags, and she called me afternoon and the first thing she said was ‘Will you miss me?’ I was silent, didn’t kow what to think.. I though it was some kind of joke, but it didt sound like one by the sound of her voice. I told her I do not get it, don’t understand. She said ‘will you miss me this weekend? Im going on vacation with my best girl friend’ I said WTF?? Told her I have never said I wont go, and asked her did she just made decision like this all by herself? She said YES and was very angry. She said she doesn’t want watching me in the bad mood because the weather is gonna be bad. I told her it will be good and there wont be any rain.. I told her I even sent her text massage because i was looking at forecast and it ll be allright. She said she knows someone who lives there and they talked and he said its gonna be rainy so she decided that she will took her friend with her and left me at home. She said she took my text as a joke...
I have never said I wont go. I told her ‘ allright, go with your friend then. I m prepered to go, have my baggage ready but if that’s your decision go ahead’
She said ‘ I have to talk to my friend, to check out if she already took a day off from her job’ She said she will let my know later…
I don’t know what to think now.. .I have never said I wont go, and we were on vacation like this once before and we had a great time together… What should I do if she chose her freiend anyway and leave me at home.. How to act around her if she decides to ditch her friend and go with me… im very upset… I think its just childins for 2 people in therir late 20s to have these kind of problems…
I don't think she handled it well; a bit inconsiderate. If it is an honest mistake, she certainly didn't make efforts to reconcile.
I guess the first step is to try and salvage what's left of what suppose to be a good time. If its without her, try to enjoy yourself on a trip of your own.
When you both return, sit her down and tell her how you felt (talk one on one not txt messages). How she handles that conversation should determine whether or not this was just a hick-up in your relationship or a long term issue with her. Only then I would decide whether or not you choose to invest more of your energy into the relationship. Don't make brash decisions based on the raw feelings you are experiencing this moment.
You don't need this vacation with your girlfriend.
You need a different girlfriend.
Maybe you're grumpy, or you've been grumpy-seeming about this, all that rubbish. Maybe.
But ditching you at the last minute, abruptly announcing you're out of the plans, she's found someone else to fill your spot, you're potentially 'not fun' when all along you've been planning and she's been speaking as though you're included?
1. Childish, especially the lack of realistic explanation and lack of attempt at reconciliation over any misunderstanding.
2. Symptomatic. Everyone makes mistakes, relationships have misunderstandings -- that's a given. But misunderstandings which result in that kind of upheaval as well as a slap in the face... It's a giant red flag that something is NOT kosher, whether disdain for your wishes, disdain for any abrupt changes in direction you need to make, or just the fact that she quite suddenly doesn't want you there. That's underlying issues, whether on your part or hers, or both.
Do yourself a favor and realize you're late for the nearest door. Life is too short to waste on someone who's willing to create difficulties for you and simply not care. Life is too short to waste on people who are willing to jerk your chain for a reaction.
And life is CERTAINLY too short for people who make promises and don't mind yanking the rug out from under you. If she'll do this as a girlfriend, imagine how it will be if you marry and have to live with her?
I think she handled it poorly. However, she was excited about the vacation the two of you had planned together, and you said it wouldn't be much of a vacation if the weather were bad. How do you think that made her feel, when she was probably just looking forward to getting away with you, regardless of the weather? She is showing her point in an incredibly passive-aggressive way, but she does have one.
She is showing her point in an incredibly passive-aggressive way, but she does have one.
This is my thought as well... I am in agreement. If someone in a relationship is resorting to passive-aggressiveness in attempt to convey a message, then there is at the root a communication failure.
He expressed concern about the weather that it wouldn't be much of a vacation if it the weather was bad. She didn't follow up and just assumed the vacation was off.. then made other plans.
She said she doesn't care about the weather. She was excited to go with him anyways. He didn't seem to be receptive that she was focus on time with him rather than the vacation itself.
She should have followed up and talked to him. He should have realized that she was more concerned about spending time together and acknowledged it. The end result... she is hurt because he didn't put priority on spending time together. He is hurt because she jumped the gun and made other plans without him.
I do believe she could have handled it a bit better once a misunderstanding was determined. Being passive-agressive about it rarely works well.
Talk.. talk... talk some more.
I don't think this is the end of the relationship as many here seem to jump the gun and post. Relationships are a working progress. If you don't actually work at it and dump each other at the moment there is any disconnect, then one will never reach the point of having a relationship that works.
How she handles the next conversation about what happened should determine the state of the relationship.
My and my gf are together for cca 10 months. So we have planned to go on vacation for this weekend (somewhere 2 hours driving away to the sea, beach since the summer is almost there ). So, few days ago she said she cant wait to go, was counting the days till we go, etc... and I said I really dont have a feeling since the weather was not really summer like for a few days. I said I hope it ll be a good weather down there because it wont be much of vacation otherwise... She said she doesn’t care, she wants to go and will go even if that means she ll go alone. So I was looking for a weather forecast a few days back and the forecast wasnt bad – sunny and cloudy but no rain. So I texted my gf 3 days ago ‘Its gonna be sunny good night’. She replied good night. We didnt talk about the vacation after that.
We suppose to go on vacation today after work. So yesterday I packed my bags, and she called me afternoon and the first thing she said was ‘Will you miss me?’ I was silent, didn’t kow what to think.. I though it was some kind of joke, but it didt sound like one by the sound of her voice. I told her I do not get it, don’t understand. She said ‘will you miss me this weekend? Im going on vacation with my best girl friend’ I said WTF?? Told her I have never said I wont go, and asked her did she just made decision like this all by herself? She said YES and was very angry. She said she doesn’t want watching me in the bad mood because the weather is gonna be bad. I told her it will be good and there wont be any rain.. I told her I even sent her text massage because i was looking at forecast and it ll be allright. She said she knows someone who lives there and they talked and he said its gonna be rainy so she decided that she will took her friend with her and left me at home. She said she took my text as a joke...
I have never said I wont go. I told her ‘ allright, go with your friend then. I m prepered to go, have my baggage ready but if that’s your decision go ahead’
She said ‘ I have to talk to my friend, to check out if she already took a day off from her job’ She said she will let my know later…
I don’t know what to think now.. .I have never said I wont go, and we were on vacation like this once before and we had a great time together… What should I do if she chose her freiend anyway and leave me at home.. How to act around her if she decides to ditch her friend and go with me… im very upset… I think its just childins for 2 people in therir late 20s to have these kind of problems…
She decided that you were being grumpy about the weather and she wanted to have a good weekend so she asked her girlfriend instead.
I would have done the same thing and left your behind at home being so uptight about the weather instead of just going and enjoying spending time with your girlfriend. O matter what the weather turned out to be.
Uhm....was it an overnight trip? (you said you were packing bags). Did you pay for a hotel? That would make all this even worse but even if not, she's being a bit of a b#tch. I can see if she mentioned going with a friend just to light a fire under your a$$ but to seriously do it after you were only delaying a short time because the weather was an issue is really rude. She sounds like a kid. And this after 10 months into the relationship? I think you have issues that's she's "just not that into you".
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
