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Wow! Yeah, she was looking for a night of entertainment for herself and her kids, not an actual date. And she was probably looking for a little something something when she invited you in for the night.
Wow. She really threw a monkey wrench at that date. KUDOS for following through on it. If that ball was in my court, I would have politely declined also. Kids and first dates do not mesh.
You should call her and tell her that you would prefer to meet her for the first time without the children so you can get to know each other a bit before you do meet her children.
You should also tell your friend's wife to keep her opinion to herself if she starts saying anything to you about not going on the date.
I would never take my children on a first date let alone a first date I had never met before it is rude and quite irresponsible.
Yeah, I don't know why I didn't use a line like that, it still would've worked. My mind just went into blank mode after I heard her. I'm kind of dumb like that.
Well, sure, you could be quicker on your feet, but honestly this should be a red flag for you next time.
A mom who is the kind of person worth being with would not treat her kids as baggage like that. You should not meet the kids for at least SEVERAL months, at the very least after you are committed to her.
Just keep this line in the back of your mind, but really be ready to just say "maybe another day" next time.
And don't be afraid to stand up to the co-worker's wife. Tell her next time to include babysitting when she offers to fix you up.
Well, I think a lot of people on this board don't have small kids. It is not that easy to get a decent baby sitter with which the kid will agree to stay. To do that, this baby sitter had to take crae of the kids regularly and that is very expensive. If her kids are in day care and also in some after school activities, chances are that she can not really afford regular baby sitters.
My 4 year old absolutely refuses to stay with someone he does not know well. And on top of private days care and other classes, my wife and I can not afford to regularly pay baby sitter to stay with our son.
But I agree, this woman should've warned you ahead of time that she could not get rid of the kids for your first date.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DefiantNJ
Well, I think a lot of people on this board don't have small kids. It is not that easy to get a decent baby sitter with which the kid will agree to stay. To do that, this baby sitter had to take crae of the kids regularly and that is very expensive. If her kids are in day care and also in some after school activities, chances are that she can not really afford regular baby sitters.
My 4 year old absolutely refuses to stay with someone he does not know well. And on top of private days care and other classes, my wife and I can not afford to regularly pay baby sitter to stay with our son.
But I agree, this woman should've warned you ahead of time that she could not get rid of the kids for your first date.
I don't have small kids. I have dated women with small kids. One with an infant when we started dating. Others with 2-5 yos, and older. Still, this would never come up. Would it perhaps limit flexibility in dating, or how often we could see each other? Sure. But this would not be something the women I dated, or would date, would even consider doing..
Wow, even a month seems fast to me. Most women I know pretty much don't introduce a man to their kids unless they are dating for at least four or five months. The only exception is the one sister who met her second husband through their kids.
And this is for women who actually date. I know a few women who canned it entirely until their kids were at least 16, if not 18 and off to school.
I said at LEAST a month, I don't remember the exact amount of time as this was twenty years ago. It was probably closer to two. We hit it off immediately and dated several times a week. The main point here is that nobody should be bringing their kids on a first date. If you can't find someone to watch them than reschedule for another day.
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Tell her next time to include babysitting when she offers to fix you up.
