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She might just enjoy hanging with you but just as friends. She could also be assuming that you've moved past your initial attraction. I've honestly thought I was just friends with a few male friends yet they secretly hoped for more, although in your case you have actually told her how you feel, so one would hope she is not leading you on.
Here's an opportunity for better advice if a few questions are answered:
OP, how old are both of you? What are you looking for with this girl (presumably a relationship)? What about this girl is attractive to you besides her looks (intelligence, commitment, kindness, etc)?
Tell her that you can't be friends with her anymore because you are attracted to her and it distracting you from pursuing dating and a relationship anyone else. She will either suggest going out on a date, or she will pout about for a couple of days then forget you. Either way you will be in a better situation after you tell her that than you are currently.
this is great advice
she seems to like the attention but NOT want to date the op...this happens a LOT and one of the reasons I feel men and women cant really be friends...women like the attention, they like to have a back up plan...
she will either agree to the date
pout for a while and forget you TEMPORARILY
she will probably try this faux friendship again so op really needs to knock that down
She might just enjoy hanging with you but just as friends. She could also be assuming that you've moved past your initial attraction. I've honestly thought I was just friends with a few male friends yet they secretly hoped for more, although in your case you have actually told her how you feel, so one would hope she is not leading you on.
If you are moderately cute and they are straight, they will ALWAYS hope for more...maybe hope a LOT, or just the remote possibility will keep them coming back...sex is NEVER EVER off the table unless the guy is gay, she is unattractive, or if she is dating/married to a good friend of his (and this is pushing it)
Tell her that you can't be friends with her anymore because you are attracted to her and it distracting you from pursuing dating and a relationship anyone else. She will either suggest going out on a date, or she will pout about for a couple of days then forget you. Either way you will be in a better situation after you tell her that than you are currently.
Do this. Unless you are interested in the "just friends" arrangement on a permanent basis.
Tell her what you are open to, and if she isn't of the same mind, cut her loose and move on - permanently.
Can you explain how the two highlighted areas go together?
Just think it was worth mentioning that we went from talking and hanging out together all the time to basically nothing the last 9 months. Was hoping to emphasize how unlikely it was for her to reach out to me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Akonyo
Here's an opportunity for better advice if a few questions are answered:
OP, how old are both of you? What are you looking for with this girl (presumably a relationship)? What about this girl is attractive to you besides her looks (intelligence, commitment, kindness, etc)?
I'm 23 and I believe she is 27. Yeah, I'd prefer a relationship with this girl. I like this girl because her humor is really similar to mine and shes one of a handful of people I can 100% be myself around.
my 2 cents is that you made your interest known and she rejected it, so if she does want you back, it is on her to tell you and do so in a super direct manner. i think you should go on, keep meeting and dating new women, and treating this woman like a friendly acquaintance.
i wonder if she misses your attention and affections again
She knows you like her, so no wondering does he? She is gonna tease the heck outta you.Ignore her and see if she still flirts. If she does she wants you, if not she is stringing you.
Just think it was worth mentioning that we went from talking and hanging out together all the time to basically nothing the last 9 months. Was hoping to emphasize how unlikely it was for her to reach out to me.
How long have you known her? In what context did you hang out with her (work, school, etc)?
It takes a long time to get to know someone. You may not know her as well as you think.
Quote:
I'm 23 and I believe she is 27. Yeah, I'd prefer a relationship with this girl. I like this girl because her humor is really similar to mine and shes one of a handful of people I can 100% be myself around.
That's all well and good, but what are some of her positive attributes? Is she kind to strangers? Is she a hard-worker? Is she very intelligent (in a way that you can quantify)? Has she shown commitment to anything in the past? At her age, she should either have or be on her way to having a career. Does she?
These are loaded questions, yes, but they are important in determining character.
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