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So, I initially came here looking for online dating advice, but cripes is it a complex and polarizing subject for all y'all... one which evidently I'm too thick to get despite being a reasonably intelligent guy. I guess I'm a whiny sad sack of a child-man for not getting it. Anyway, I digress... Dating schmating, I probably wouldn't be putting so much effort into online dating, Meetups, or similar contrivances if I was meeting more interested and appropriate women in my daily goings-on. I've been stuck in quite the rut for about five years now trying to just get dates, let alone pursue any specific relationship goals.
...which has led me to an observation outside the rarity of interested parties: The reoccurring themes in those rare times a woman actually does flirt with me. Yesterday, I had some seriously strong flirtatious vibes coming my way from a cashier at a fast casual restaurant. This seems to be the status quo, my being compelling seemingly only to those in the world of the service industry. See, I work in a white collar environment with offices in a mixed development part of town that shoulders up with upper-middle to upper income retail... stores, restaurants, and bars/lounges basically. I've been here for over two years now (live in the immediate area now too), and I've never had an interaction with a professional woman the whole time I've been up here. It's been baristas, cashiers, and the occasional waitress... and by way of that, they fall a good bit south of my target range for acceptable candidates. I do try to have an open mind with this stuff, but girls in the 18 - 25 range are pushing it. I've been down that road.
Where I am in life, I'd hope I could find ladies' at least springboarding into their careers of choice, working normalish hours & days, and having reasonable income levels to do post quarter-life things like travel. No bueno. I've had a couple of girls at my Saturday night haunt hit on me too over the last six months or so, in the 23-and-in-college bracket. I guess put academia in there too. Same problem, though... same reoccurring theme.
I'm sure there are some guys who think this is an awesome problem to have, but having five or six early twenties women hit on you over the course of a year as opposed to a good number of thirty-somethings is a bit depressing for a guy with his s___ together way into his years where setting down is a priority (actually, I preferred long-term relationships when I was younger as well). What am I asking? Ummmm... I guess as Socrates so eloquently put it: "WTF?"
I would suggest finding some hobbies/taking some classes in areas where you might encounter women in your "target range." Do things the women your age are doing.
Logically, the service industry is going to be populated by women in that younger age bracket. So if those are the only places you go, those are the women you'll meet.
I would suggest finding some hobbies/taking some classes in areas where you might encounter women in your "target range." Do things the women your age are doing.
1.) Don't have the time, or moreso, the predictable schedule for something like classes. Like I said, I'm a working professional that works with international business partners, sometimes requiring early meetings, late work/meetings, and sporadic travel. I only do about a 40 hr., but it can be elastic as grown up jobs are.
2.) I have hobbies. Primarily music, which is my second passion. I get out to shows when I can. I enjoy the underground/alternative arts and culture scene as well, cooking a cuisine/restaurants, and motorsports. I actually get out quite a bit, and spend a bit too much on it. I'd like to get out less.
3.) I have no idea what women in my age range are doing. Having baby showers that I'm not invited too? Watching 'Homeland' with their husbands? Single ones going out... somewhere? ¯\(°_o)/¯ I'm less interested in age and more having lifestyle, goals, and interests in common. The super young ones only bug me because they aren't aligned on the lifestyle part of it.
Quote:
Logically, the service industry is going to be populated by women in that younger age bracket. So if those are the only places you go, those are the women you'll meet.
1.) Not at all the only places I go to.
2.) There are plenty of 30+ people in the service industry. They're called customers/patrons.
Quote:
Professional meet ups
1.) Yeah, been to a few and not really any interested parties... at least around these parts... and those who go to 'em are kinda cliquey and braggart. I talk about work enough with my coworkers every damn day of the week.
Last edited by Tune_It_Lower; 08-22-2015 at 09:02 PM..
I would suggest finding some hobbies/taking some classes in areas where you might encounter women in your "target range." Do things the women your age are doing.
Logically, the service industry is going to be populated by women in that younger age bracket. So if those are the only places you go, those are the women you'll meet.
You are a lucky son of a gun. Having young gilrs like that hitting on you.
You are a lucky son of a gun. Having young gilrs like that hitting on you.
Yeah... I saw this one coming.
1.) It doesn't happen that often. It's just that it's ~4/5ths of the interested parties (the other 1/5th being ragged cougars mad at the kids today... yeah, that doesn't work either...)
2.) Young doesn't always mean they look like Selena Gomez or whomever. Some are attractive, some are not.
3.) I actually want a long term relationship, one where we travel (and I don't foot the whole bill for two people), take weekends for stuff, hang out with my significant other after we both get off work at 6:00-7:00-ish,etc. I don't blame early 20's women for being directionless and scattered... but it just doesn't work for me where I am in life.
4.) If I'm hot to 23 year olds, could I at least be hot to the occasional 27 year old, 33 year old, 36 year old, etc. every once in a while? I guess that's rhetorical.
1.) Don't have the time, or moreso, the predictable schedule for something like classes. Like I said, I'm a working professional that works with international business partners, sometimes requiring early meetings, late work/meetings, and sporadic travel. I only do about a 40 hr., but it can be elastic as grown up jobs are.
2.) I have hobbies. Primarily music, which is my second passion. I get out to shows when I can. I enjoy the underground/alternative arts and culture scene as well, cooking a cuisine/restaurants, and motorsports. I actually get out quite a bit, and spend a bit too much on it. I'd like to get out less.
3.) I have no idea what women in my age range are doing. Having baby showers that I'm not invited too? Watching 'Homeland' with their husbands? Single ones going out... somewhere? ¯\(°_o)/¯ I'm less interested in age and more having lifestyle, goals, and interests in common. The super young ones only bug me because they aren't aligned on the lifestyle part of it.
1.) Not at all the only places I go to.
2.) There are plenty of 30+ people in the service industry. They're called customers/patrons.
1.) Yeah, been to a few and not really any interested parties... at least around these parts... and those who go to 'em are kinda cliquey and braggart. I talk about work enough with my coworkers every damn day of the week.
Oh, this is one of THOSE posts.
User comes here with question about **WHY** they cannot find _______.
Posters respond with reasonable suggestions that might disrupt their routine but would help them find ___.
User answers own question by demonstrating closed-off attitude that is preventing them from finding _______.
Here's the thing, and I will be very frank: If you say you can't find what you want and then automatically shut down reasonable ideas for finding it, nothing will change for you.
The truth is that your dating pool has shrunk. Your peers have taken themselves out of the pool, either through marriage or through also being very busy "working professionals."
You claim to be interested in finding "lifestyle, goals and interests in common," yet negate reasonable ways to find that. Cripes, open your mind a tiny bit. You appear to be in a mental rut.
So good luck finding a smart, interesting 30-year-old woman willing to be hit on as a customer in one of the MANY venues you visit. Sincerely.
You claim to be interested in finding "lifestyle, goals and interests in common," yet negate reasonable ways to find that. Cripes, open your mind a tiny bit. You appear to be in a mental rut.
Ummmm... I only shot down classes because of my work schedule. One suggestion. Take the rage-rebuttal down a notch.
Mod cut.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 08-28-2015 at 08:46 AM..
Reason: Don't tell another member not to post.
Unless some woman who fits your criteria gets hired at your office, you appear to be stuck.
Mod cut.
And what's my office got to do with anything? People meet people other places besides work.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 08-28-2015 at 08:54 AM..
Reason: Orphaned (reply to comment which has been deleted).
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Anyway, I digress... Dating schmating, I probably wouldn't be putting so much effort into online dating, Meetups, or similar contrivances if I was meeting more interested and appropriate women in my daily goings-on. I've been stuck in quite the rut for about five years now trying to just get dates, let alone pursue any specific relationship goals.
I've been down that road.
I've had a couple of girls at my Saturday night haunt hit on me too over the last six months or so, in the 23-and-in-college bracket. I guess put academia in there too. Same problem, though... same reoccurring theme. 
