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It's killing me that I haven't already. I've developed a decently big crush on this girl.She's not in any of my classes but I've seen her around campus many times (unfortunately mostly in the library, a hard place to -approach a person). She's also at my bus stop for the shuttle pick up, but I've only been there the same time as her once.
Tonight especially killed. I was in the library already when she came in sat down right across from me. I've been caught looking at her a few times, but it's whateva. If I've made her uncomfortable than she hasn't shown it because she still sat really close to me. Throughout the night there (maybe 2 hours?), I was stealing glances at her and I caught her stealing glances at me a few times (and she caught me in the act a few too, lol). So i decided it was time, was geared up to do it. Again it was in the library, and some guy had just gotten annoyed with her and her friend for talking. So my idea was to walk up to her with a notebook and a pencil, write "Hey, how's it going?", drop the notebook on her desk, let her respond, and then have a conversation purely through writing on the notebook, for fun. But I got nervous and extremely anxious. I've never approached a girl before. I kept putting it off and putting off and eventually she left and I'm so disappointed with myself that I didn't act.
She must know I like her, she also probably thinks I'm a big coward now. any advice or motivation would be appreciated, cause next time I see her it's happening. If there's a next time. I'm tired living a life of fear of rejection
My advice is: who cares that it's a library? Just go say hi, man.
Yeah I get you. I was hoping for a more organic situation, bus stop seems like a perfect place to start a convo or make a joke about always running into each other. Library? Less so
I dunno. If it gets awkward at the bus stop, you're stuck staring at each other on the bus. At least you can leave in the library. lol
Goddamnit man, lol. Give me another thing to think about
Luckily the power of regret is stronger than the power of a bad experience. So I think I'll be opting for next available opportunity, wherever that may be.
Really? How exactly is that a conversation starter?
I don't need some elaborate approach, I'm handing her a notebook with a question. Supposed to be lighthearted and not serious. I was playing off the fact that her library neighbor wasn't appreciating her talking to her friend, and told them to keep it down
Goddamnit man, lol. Give me another thing to think about
Luckily the power of regret is stronger than the power of a bad experience. So I think I'll be opting for next available opportunity, wherever that may be.
Sorry, but your approach WAS elaborate. It was completely unspontaneous and cutesy.
Why the hell didn't you just SMILE at her when you caught her eye the first time? If she smiled back you had your opening. You could have walked right up and started chatting.
But "how's it going" is so completely lame. It is a lazy, self-focused fall-back--something said by an unconfident guy who is more wrapped up in his own situation and his own thoughts and how he is coming across than the person he is trying to meet.
How is one supposed to answer..."Good"? "Fine"? Then you are back to square 1 again, needing another line to keep the conversation going. Because you are so focused on you, that you don't even have the forethought to give her a good opening conversation starter that she can respond to.
So you like her. What do you find interesting about her? What do you think you have in common? What are you curious about? Why not strike up a conversation that leads naturally to that?
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