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I met a 31 year old guy on a dating app about a month ago. I'm 29. We both live in Los Angeles, but at the time we connected, I was visiting my parents in Texas.
We texted all throughout the day and talked on the phone for hours for a week and half while I was in Texas. We were excited to meet and we thought what we had was so special. We were both looking for someone serious, and the more we got to talk, the more we got interested.
However, one afternoon, he started not responding to my texts. I thought maybe he was busy, but he didn't read and respond to my messages from 3pm until 10pm. He said he had left this phone at home while he went out to law school to print papers out and meet his friend for dinner, also the connection was bad so had to restart everything on his phone.
I know we were not in a relationship, but I cancelled our meeting and said we should just stop talking. I just had a hard believing him and I didn't want to get involved when communication is so important to me.
About 2 weeks later of no contact, he messages me yesterday asking me how I am holding up because I am a nurse so he wanted to know how I was doing. We messaged a few times back and forth, asking if we were seeing anyone, and we both said no.
Because he's a law student and school is closed, He's in chicago visiting his family so once again we are not living close to each other. He said he needs to come back to LA next week, but who knows with the travel ban.
He asked me if I wanted to still continue to talk to him and we talked it over about how we "ended".
I told him I'm big on communication and of course I'll understand if he's busy but let me know at least what's going on. He said he wasn't always near his phone because no one would really call or text him..and I said but there was me? Wasn't I always talking to him? Was I not important to him? And he said I was right and he will make sure his phone is near him always. He said he loves that I'm a knower and sharer. and we said we had missed each other while we talked on the phone yesterday. He said he was honestly hurt the first time i told him let's stop. Does it sound like he likes me already before we met?
Do you like him? Of course the answer to both of those questions neither of you will know till you meet in person. I would suggest arranging this, make it a neutral place in the open air in daytime with plenty of people around.
It's only one you've met in person and had that long talk with each other will you each be able to decide if this is a real friendship or you are each acting out a fantasy.
Speaking only for myself, if someone I was chatting with For less than a month, and had not yet met in person, freaked out because I did not respond to texts for a few hours that would be a big red flag for me. And frankly, regardless of how much you both shared, you don’t know someone until you spend actual time with them.
I find it odd that you became suspicious of something, just because he didn't respond one afternoon/evening, and you didn't believe his statement, that he'd left his phone at home.
This whole phenomenon that's become so common these days, of "meeting" someone via apps, getting to know them a little via texting (and sometimes phone calls), then dropping them because of a delay in text responses seems overblown. It seems to create insecurity where none is necessary, and not only that, but -- suspicion. Suddenly, everyone's going around suspicious of virtual strangers, just because their text response pattern changes one day, or for a couple of days, so the interested party automatically bails and cuts them off as if they'd cheated on them (even though they're still strangers, never having met).
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,584,857 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nurider2002
Speaking only for myself, if someone I was chatting with For less than a month, and had not yet met in person, freaked out because I did not respond to texts for a few hours that would be a big red flag for me. And frankly, regardless of how much you both shared, you don’t know someone until you spend actual time with them.
Ita.....& being able to meet the way things are right now is so limiting.
O.P.....there isn't much you can do now so.....just continue to talk & get in webcam but understand that people can be busy. If he likes you....he will.......& if not.....you have your answer.
I find it odd that you became suspicious of something, just because he didn't respond one afternoon/evening, and you didn't believe his statement, that he'd left his phone at home.
This whole phenomenon that's become so common these days, of "meeting" someone via apps, getting to know them a little via texting (and sometimes phone calls), then dropping them because of a delay in text responses seems overblown. It seems to create insecurity where none is necessary, and not only that, but -- suspicion. Suddenly, everyone's going around suspicious of virtual strangers, just because their text response pattern changes one day, or for a couple of days, so the interested party automatically bails and cuts them off as if they'd cheated on them (even though they're still strangers, never having met).
Is this really the way people want to live?
It's just a consequence of "meeting" on the phone.
When it's the ONLY thing you have to rely on, any change in texting pattern seems suspicious, as do catastrophic phone malfunctions.
He sounds interested. Have you webcammed him? If not, you should.
Most of the time, they do not show anywhere. Everything they tell the women is fictitious, even the photo they send women. They get hold of a very-handsome man's photo, and even their name is fake.
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