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I recently started to see someone and just after a few dates, two things are becoming worrisome and I wanted to get some opinions.
1. He overly compliments me. Now, don't get me wrong. Every girl wants to be complimented and he is incredibly sweet. But there comes a point where it gets to be excessive and it starts to be uncomfortable.
2. He wants to see me every day. I'm a very independent woman and I feel it's best to go a day or so without seeing someone when you are first getting to know them.
Now, is this just because this is a brand new relationship? Also, he is European...so I don't know if European men have a different view on relationships vs American men? But as far as him wanting to see me everyday, how can I tell him in a polite way that I need my own space?
He wants to see you every day after just a few dates? Too much too soon. Same with the excessive compliments. Ordinarily, those two things would be red-flag-worthy, as in: he's either manipulative or needy, and/or possibly doesn't have a good sense of personal boundaries. You'll have to find a polite/kind way to say that you don't know him well enough yet to spend every day with him. Good luck with that. Aside from the somewhat smothering behavior, do you like him?
I do like him. I definitely don't get that he's manipulative, but he is incredibly nice (which is something I am not used to...coming from an abusive/unfaithful past relationship). So it's a breath of fresh air to have someone treat me like this. But I also have never had any guy compliment me this much nor want to spend this much time with me. He hasn't had a relationship since 2013, so maybe this is just all new to him and will fade over time?
I do like him. I definitely don't get that he's manipulative, but he is incredibly nice (which is something I am not used to...coming from an abusive/unfaithful past relationship). So it's a breath of fresh air to have someone treat me like this. But I also have never had any guy compliment me this much nor want to spend this much time with me. He hasn't had a relationship since 2013, so maybe this is just all new to him and will fade over time?
But he is from Germany.
How old are you two? Could it be that he doesn't have much dating experience? German dating customs were discussed briefly on the Europe forum once, and it was explained that German men generally don't do the approaching. Women are expected to do the approaching once the men give clear signals they're interested, though there are probably exceptions.
Some variation of what "funyman" suggested would be appropriate.
Any time someone acts desperate or pushes themselves on me too soon, I run. It just comes across as too needy and uncomfortable. This feeling applies to romantic relationships and friendships. If you like him a lot, tell him how he is making you feel. Make sure he understands that you like him but you just want to get to know him slowly.
I do like him. I definitely don't get that he's manipulative, but he is incredibly nice (which is something I am not used to...coming from an abusive/unfaithful past relationship). So it's a breath of fresh air to have someone treat me like this. But I also have never had any guy compliment me this much nor want to spend this much time with me. He hasn't had a relationship since 2013, so maybe this is just all new to him and will fade over time?
But he is from Germany.
It's not a German thing. They are usually brutally honest but rather reserved. However, they go after what they want and don't give up easily as many Americans do.
Now, is this just because this is a brand new relationship? Also, he is European...so I don't know if European men have a different view on relationships vs American men? But as far as him wanting to see me everyday, how can I tell him in a polite way that I need my own space?
Honestly, I think some people are just "like that". Nothing to do with being "needy" or "desperate" or any other horrible character defect.
When I first started seeing my partner, he was very much into spending as much time together as possible. That's literally just who he is. Me on the other hand-- used to being on her own, and coming (fairly recently) out of a relationship where my partner had passed away unexpectedly.
So, yes, very early on, we had the "whoa tiger" conversation. Not in those exact terms, obviously, but the gist was, "yes, I like you, but I need some space". We were able to compromise on it, and moved ahead.
I would definitely suggest speaking to him about it, with a lot of "I feel" commentary. If you feel that he's not "getting it", perhaps you're just not compatible.
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