The Great Hoopla is in Trouble! (dating, how to, women, advice)
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Hello city data folk! I have returned the great hoopla!
So during my absence from CD a lot has happened in my life mostly good things and I took a LONG vacation away from relationships any other BS that was causing issues before. Hell I am even over my oneitus a 100%!
I just want to make it very clear that I have a very good idea of what exactly are the qualities I am looking for in a woman. I have spent some time thinking about it exactly and I just want to point that out before I write anything else.
Anyways, met this really great girl and we had an amazing first date it was probably the best date I have ever been on so far and we have continued to talk almost every day. Problem is her career which makes it nearly impossible for me to see her. If I am super lucky I can see her once a week and if I am unlucky it can be once in two weeks. Even though we have only gone on a first date I am still thrilled about this girl based on our date and our discussions afterwards. The 2nd date that we have tentatively planned is very far out more than a week of waiting.
I am wondering how I can keep her interest level up during these long spaces of time in between our dates. I am a very good judge of character and this is the first time in a long time I have genuinely liked a woman that I have gone out on a date with and would like to see this move forward if she is the girl I am thinking she is! Also any advice/tips on how to make this work despite her schedule!
Lol I know this thread sounds crazy considering my post history on CD lol
Sending her alternating funny texts with sweet ones.
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And don't get so emotionally invested or gung ho after only one date. I know that's hard, but its critical.
Literally, anyone that knows me knows that I never get emotionally invested but yes here there is SOME emotional investment. I've been honest and genuine about my view on our potential to her which I think helped her open up slightly with me. Shes had trouble dating because of her schedule because most guys get mad and angry about it. It's going to be key for me learning to cope with that reality.
I am just worried this could fizzle out if I don't handle it properly.
Sending her alternating funny texts with sweet ones.
How about texting frequency? Right now anytime I feel like really talking to her I shoot her over a text. I have been the one really starting conversation but shes always the one that keeps it going. I am guessing that she wants me to take the lead on stuff like that or is that an indicator of her lower interest level in me?
Shes already given me an out if I cannot handle her schedule or time constraints. I told her upfront I am ready for the challenge and will be fine with it. She told me then shes fine with it and that everything is great then.
Literally, anyone that knows me knows that I never get emotionally invested but yes here there is SOME emotional investment.
SOME?
I beg to differ, based on the bolded items below.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hooplaman
Anyways, met this really great girl and we had an amazing first date it was probably the best date I have ever been on so far and we have continued to talk almost every day. Problem is her career which makes it nearly impossible for me to see her. If I am super lucky I can see her once a week and if I am unlucky it can be once in two weeks. Even though we have only gone on a first date I am still thrilled about this girl based on our date and our discussions afterwards. The 2nd date that we have tentatively planned is very far out more than a week of waiting.
Don't bug the crap out of her by sending a text any time you think about it. I advise you text her LESS than you would be inclined to, but make the ones you DO send a tad bit less enthusiastic than your posts here ^^^.
How about texting frequency? Right now anytime I feel like really talking to her I shoot her over a text. I have been the one really starting conversation but shes always the one that keeps it going. I am guessing that she wants me to take the lead on stuff like that or is that an indicator of her lower interest level in me?
Shes already given me an out if I cannot handle her schedule or time constraints. I told her upfront I am ready for the challenge and will be fine with it. She told me then shes fine with it and that everything is great then.
As a woman I always let the man lead the way with frequency of texts in the beginning.
So after a few dates you will want to integrate phone calls to keep up intimacy and Skype. Plan a skype romantic dinner with her plate and everything. Then comment she has barely touched her food. Proceed to eat her food.
Slowly integrate this stuff, don't go all crazy at once. In the future will you be able to spend the night together? At least sleep/sex in between her crazy schedule. DH schedule was so bad he would come over to just sleep together.
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Question, Great Hooplah? If she has trouble going on dates now (due to her busy career) whats going to change between now and after the next tentative date that she will have time for a relationship?
Don't bug the crap out of her by sending a text any time you think about it. I advise you text her LESS than you would be inclined to, but make the ones you DO send a tad bit less enthusiastic than your posts here ^^^.
We have good conversation but yes I am trying to limit our exchanges a bit. I don't feel the need to send anymore texts related to the potential here. I said what I needed to say to her already and I feel secure in that fact. I want to have open communication with her and honestly I am a man why should I feel apologetic about the way I feel?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43
As a woman I always let the man lead the way with frequency of texts in the beginning.
So after a few dates you will want to integrate phone calls to keep up intimacy and Skype. Plan a skype romantic dinner with her plate and everything. Then comment she has barely touched her food. Proceed to eat her food.
Slowly integrate this stuff, don't go all crazy at once. In the future will you be able to spend the night together? At least sleep/sex in between her crazy schedule. DH schedule was so bad he would come over to just sleep together.
Well she doesn't live far from me but I was thinking of figuring out a way to do much shorter dates when we don't have the time for a real date. Just have to get her to buy into my idea which I'll bring up on our next date. Definitely, good advice to integrate some phone calls in as well! I am thinking in the future spending a few nights will definitely help and it is possible.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hawaiiancoconut
Question, Great Hooplah? If she has trouble going on dates now (due to her busy career) whats going to change between now and after the next tentative date that she will have time for a relationship?
Something doesn't seem right here
I think, you're in trouble.
It's going to get much easier after a little bit more than a year. I also have my career and social life that I want to nurture too so the extra time will be hugely beneficial for my future too.
Perhaps, I am in trouble and I am headed for lots of pain but I cannot let that stop me from exploring this opportunity. I was in a place of abundance before her where I was seeing multiple women. They are slowly falling off because of my lack of interest in them now.
Not now but once the 2 of you are coupled up, switch staying at each other's house and help with chores. You can spend time together and get stuff done.
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