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Weirdly, the ex-bf I loved the most while I was with him and the one I feel the most gratitude to. He did a lot to get me through a terrible time, but I realize now in retrospect that it was because it made him feel good to boost me up and to bask in my adoration.
He's otherwise a horrible person, and he basically dropped the ball with his kid (not my son, but from a previous relationship) entirely - that I can't forgive him for. I left my ex behind because I saw how he was failing his kid (whom I adored) and I couldn't watch that. I reconnected with the kid a few months ago, and he's a complete mess (even more screwed up than before), and when I reached out to my ex for the first time in a decade to get him to help out, he responded with scorn and protestations that he had done everything he could for his kid and I was a fool to believe otherwise. Except he didn't, because I was there for those early years, and I saw how he failed the child then, with no intention of changing how he did things. I'm not someone carries around a lot of rage usually, but I guess I'm just furious on behalf of the kid who is now a very screwed up young man and because the guy who saved me turned out to be a total POS otherwise.
Yeah, I know it's a screwed up POV, but that's where I am right now.
There's one ex who I wouldn't throw, as he is an electrical engineer and borderline brilliant. He'd quickly find a way to save us.
The others in my past...they'd get tossed in a quick second.
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