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I'm not sure I'm buying the boredom argument. Most divorce is over money, sex, and infidelity, boredom might make the list at some point, but to divorce over boredom is silly. Most people that are normal functioning adults face ups and downs and boredom being a factor at some point, but I seriously doubt people are going to go through the gut wrenching pain and agony over boredom.
There's more at play and if they truly did say that to you, you best run cause that's not a person that is mature enough to handle a marriage/LTR.
Yeah, I don't buy it either.
But even if someone says that, I'm willing to try to find out what they mean. Usually it translates into the couple not doing anything together, from sex to hobbies to travel to hosting gatherings, with one person pretty much giving up on life and the other person trying their hardest to get the point across that there is more to the human experience than getting up, working, coming home, eating, watching TV, rinse, repeat. Not saying there should be a party every night, but quiet desperation is no way to live.
I could be sensitive to this because that was one way my last relationship went south. I love to travel, go places, go out with friends, and keep growing, learning, and experiencing things. My ex-BF knew this when we started dating, and initially seemed to be on the same page. Turns out he wasn't. He was an old fart at 35. He'd pay lip service to things when I brought them up--going to a B&B overnight, setting aside money to take a vacation, traveling to pay a visit to my sister--but there was always some reason why it "wasn't a good time" to go. He just didn't want to. He wanted to sit around watching movies, gaming, and working on his hobby. Later, Jack!
Anecdotal here, but this was the exact situation of my dear ex. (I mean that sincerely, I genuinely like him.) It was unspoken but understood that he would be in a relationship again quickly, and he was, within 5 months. He remarried and bless him, is getting a daily ration of crap from his unstable rebound lady. But I know he would be even more miserable alone.
Why couldn't you stay married to your husband? Don't you believe in working out the problem? He probably didn't see you as a person to work things out or you could have been cold to him
Honestly, after a few divorces, I think I might want to give marriage a break. I'm certain I won't ever be the one that suggesting it to future boyfriend. The guy has to be begging for it. But then it might be a no.
Why couldn't you stay married to your husband? Don't you believe in working out the problem? He probably didn't see you as a person to work things out or you could have been cold to him
None of your business, things like that are an issue between those involved, not random strangers who have no idea what the actual dynamics of the situation are.
None of your business, things like that are an issue between those involved, not random strangers who have no idea what the actual dynamics of the situation are.
Regardless. It shows how people don't know how to value marriage anymore. People just want the easy way out and don't take marriage seriously anymore
Regardless. It shows how people don't know how to value marriage anymore. People just want the easy way out and don't take marriage seriously anymore
Right. Because people should just suck it up if they're being emotionally or physically abused, or financially taken advantage of, to the point of their spouse racking up massive debt. Easy divorce is worth the downside of having too many divorces. It's much better than the alternative, of people staying in abusive situations (to their death, in some instances) because they can't get a divorce.
You sound like someone who's too young to understand the complexities of the issue you're commenting on.
Who was that poster we had earlier in the year, who kept harping on how people give up on marriage too easily?
Some people do give up too easily. Others desperately need that escape hatch. I'm glad it's there for those who are in dire need.
Really what people need to do is take the steps leading up to marriage seriously. Some need to not jump into it so easily.
Right. Because people should just suck it up if they're being emotionally or physically abused, or financially taken advantage of, to the point of their spouse racking up massive debt. Easy divorce is worth the downside of having too many divorces. It's much better than the alternative, of people staying in abusive situations (to their death, in some instances) because they can't get a divorce.
You sound like someone who's too young to understand the complexities of the issue you're commenting on.
Who was that poster we had earlier in the year, who kept harping on how people give up on marriage too easily?
Some people do give up too easily. Others desperately need that escape hatch. I'm glad it's there for those who are in dire need.
Really what people need to do is take the steps leading up to marriage seriously. Some need to not jump into it so easily.
Well no one twists the persons arm to get married. They should seriously think before they take that step. Problem is people want marriage because it is monkey see monkey do among their peers or can't handle themselves or desperate to get laid. So if the person runs into the problem and can't handle it it is their problem
Well no one twists the persons arm to get married. They should seriously think before they take that step. Problem is people want marriage because it is monkey see monkey do among their peers or can't handle themselves or desperate to get laid. So if the person runs into the problem and can't handle it it is their problem
As others have already said, you obviously know nothing about marriage.
As others have already said, you obviously know nothing about marriage.
And do others know about marriage? They just know how to co exist in the relationship and bail out when a first problem arises. Maybe I know more than others.
Right. Because people should just suck it up if they're being emotionally or physically abused, or financially taken advantage of, to the point of their spouse racking up massive debt. Easy divorce is worth the downside of having too many divorces. It's much better than the alternative, of people staying in abusive situations (to their death, in some instances) because they can't get a divorce.
Agreed. Anyone who's judging someone for wanting to get out of a bad marriage is misguided.
I've never been married, and never plan on it. I narrowly escaped marrying a woman who was up to her eye-balls in debt, and that would have become my debt as well.
The way to avoid these issues is to avoid getting married in the first place - though obviously it's too late for that in many cases.
Last edited by The Big Lebowski Dude; 12-20-2015 at 01:07 AM..
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