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OP you seem to be taking this subject very seriously and I absolutely applaud you. You are right, you won't be their father. They are too old for that and they have one. My biggest advice is to make absolutely sure your gf doesn't expect you to take on a parenting role. You can be a mentor, a friend, a role model, but not their father or disciplinarian. That's the biggest mistake a step parent can make coming in so late into childhood.
I was childless (but wanted kids) when I met and married my husband. His kids were quite young so I fell in the role of "mom". Looking back, even though they were young (they don't have any memories before I was around even), there was some bumpy times that could have been avoided if I had insisted my husband do the bulk of the parenting. They had a relationship with their bio mom, but she was abusive and unstable.
I won't lie, there were very hard times. But they are grown now and I absolutely love them and am so proud of them. I am proud of the role I played in their lives. We moved away from the state we all lived in with our two younger kids and don't get to see them much any more. We text and stuff, but we miss them a lot. So I can say I would do it again in a heart beat...with a few tweaks.
In the wild animal kingdom, male who get access to a female, for the purpose of mating, often kills or eats spawn of another male that the female is taking care of, in order to ensure 100% of her attention for his own offspring.
Yes, that is quite helpful for those who have not developed a frontal lobe.
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Case in point. When a man enters the family of a divorced women with children, he will never be the man he's to be for that family.
The kids belong to someone else. The man has laid down to one of his primary roles in life.
How old are you? A lot of men do not see their primary roll in life to spread their seed.
There is a whole industry surrounding the prevention of it.
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Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs / Pets / Current Events
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