Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
That happens here, too. A lot of guys are afraid to look unmanly if they dance, or in my case, I felt I'd look like a fool since I didn't know how to dance in the first place, so I took lessons. Now I impress everyone at a wedding, and I'm only a decent beginner. Its a lot of fun, actually. Ballroom dancing, I mean, and they can also teach decent freestyle for today's music.
I've never received this advice but it is often offered here, especially to men...
"Take dancing/salsa lessons. You'll meet a ton of ladies who love to dance and will fight to dance with you."
Here's the scenario...
10 dorks show up at studio for the 1st lesson. Dancing instructor is middle aged female. 2 other middle aged ladies show up together, married of course.
During the course of the evening, the point comes when instructor suggests partnering up to practice. Each man approaches each woman about dancing. Each lady politely declines and explain that they're best friends and want to practice with each other.
The instructor spends the rest of session dancing with each of the guys, while the other guys awkwardly practice solo dancing in front of mirror.
At the end of class, dance instructor is panting and red faced from dancing all night and the 2 married ladies saunter out to continue their girl's night out at the espresso bar. The dorks leave and curse themselves for believing the experts who told them to take dance lessons.
I've actually had good experience with this, but there's a catch:
Don't go to take lessons. Just go to a salsa (or other dancing) event somewhere, and let the women teach you. At formal lessons, you're more likely to run into the scenario that you did.
Anybody who said, "Play it cool." Or "keep her on ice for a week before you call her again." You know, infantile game-playing stuff like that.
Here's the thing. Don't play game with the hearts of other people. If you like someone, let that person know. Don't be obsessive, don't blow up his or her phone. Don't start planning the honeymoon after the third date. But if someone has popped up on your radar screen and it has proved promising after two or three dates, then they need to know it. If they don't reciprocate or indicate they're willing to see how far it goes, then move on. And if you decide there's no future in it, simply say so kindly. Let them down gently, but let them down in a clear manner. Otherwise, you're just jerking that person around.
I mean, read some of the posts on here. There are a lot of questions about missed signals, when to call someone back, and a host of other nonsense. But if you're really clicking with someone, you go by instinct and throw out the damned rule book. For there are no regulations when it comes to this stuff.
the best way to find a lady is to stop looking
Absolute bs
Almost every single lady i dated was because i put my self out there
Heck if i didnt theres no way i could be dating.
Depends on how you interpret that.
If you are actively looking for someone, it kind of means you carry the funk of desperation around with you. Women can smell that from a mile away.
If on the other hand, you're just into meeting people and not trying to force matters, then that bit of advice is spot-on.
Don't go to take lessons. Just go to a salsa (or other dancing) event somewhere, and let the women teach you. At formal lessons, you're more likely to run into the scenario that you did.
Many salsa events have an informal instructor-led lesson before the open dancing starts. So you can master the basics there, and let the women show you something more advanced. (As an added bonus, advanced salsa moves tend to be raunchier.) Another thing about Latin dance clubs: (1) People there tend to intermingle a lot more than in your usual bump-and-grind clubs, which will help you meet new women, and (2) It's oftentimes OK for a guy to come there alone, under the pretext of "needing to practice", unlike traditional clubs, where coming alone is considered creepy.
Again, every dance school is different. Some are ridiculously unbalanced in terms of gender, others are all about upselling private instructions, and others are just lame. But there are some great ones; Yelp is your friend for finding those. Just don't attempt to use the dance school as a venue for meeting women; use it for dance practice only.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
LOL ( who doesn't like Miami vice and city data? 
