When Using It How Often Do/Did You Go On Dates from Online Dating? (married, woman)
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You can go on dates everyday, but like others have said, it's exhausting being on all the time.
You can get dating burnout very quickly so just go at a pace that you find comfortable.
For me I went on dates with four women before finding one that really was suitable for a relationship. Continued seeing other women until things solidified with her though. I got lucky (so far) because most of OLD women in my age bracket (late 30s-early 40s) are either not over their exes, or are reluctant about online dating/very guarded about getting close with someone again. One of my friends had to date probably 30 women until finding one where things clicked to the next level - but they're engaged now.
Going on that many dates in a week is both fun and exhausting. Firstly, since I know my city pretty well, I get to suggest venues/neighborhoods I love but haven't visited as often as I'd like. Secondly, it's challenging having to adjust my approach depending on the audience. Am I going to tell the same stories to the tattooed hipster as I would to the lonely cat lady, the divorced mom, the just-relocated Argentinian, or the corporate manager? Of course not. So every date is such a different experience and you have to stay on your toes.
It is exhausting though because - well I guess I'm pretty good company. All of the dates I've been on end up going at least 3 hours. Which means I work all day, go out on a date, and by the time I get home it's basically time for bed. No time for just unwinding, reading, etc. Also, when you have that many dates scheduled, it's hard to make a decision. I don't want to spend the rest of my life going on first dates.
Wow, that sounds even more exhausting than I thought it would be! I'm glad you had fun though
Also, I agree that checking out places that are either new or you don't go to much is a really fun part of it all. I went to a Scottish restaurant for the first time yesterday and if it wasn't for dating I have no idea how long it would've taken before I did that otherwise.
I don't really have as much of an issue with talking to different audiences. While the women I've dated have had lots of differences I seem to attract or go after women with a lot of similarities (liberal, but with fairly conservative wardrobes, 20s/early 30s, educated, no kids, city loving, but outdoorsy). These aren't by design always, but that seems to be who I end up dating. Although if I do more online dating I'd probably have to broaden my scope even more than I try to now, so it's good to keep in mind.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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First meeting dates? Generally 2-3 a week. Sometimes 5 days a week. THat's the problem with it, it is really easy to let it consume your time that you let other friends and passions suffer. That's why I advocate turning on a profile for 4-6 weeks tops, then shutting it off a couple of months.
I might meet someone in a week, it sometimes has taken years. One good friend of mine married her first OKC date. You never know. Generally a new lover comes within a handful of dates, but that doesn't mean a relationship does. That's a much higher threshold.
I'm a guy, and I'm pretty much in the same boat. If I pushed it, I could go on a date every night, and have done weeks with 6 dates. ...
Though a heavy user of online dating (I log into POF and OKC daily, sending 2-4 new messages daily, besides responding to ongoing conversations), I probably average about one date every 2-3 weeks, over periods when I'm not seeing anyone more seriously.
Much like the OP, I'm at work for about 80 hours per week, if we include lollygagging, internet-time, going to the on-site gym, and general piddling around. Unlike the OP, I've lived this way for decades, and will likely continue to do so. My literal working-time is almost certainly less than even 40 hours for week, but my nominal time physically at the workplace is the vast majority of my waking hours. Right at this very moment – 8 pm on a Sunday, US East Coast time – I'm sitting in my office, sipping office-coffee, nominally preparing for Monday's activities – but in reality prowling on this Forum, composing a lengthy e-mail to a women whom I ceased dating months ago (that's another story…) and dabbling in online dating.
Bottom line: lots of screen-time is required, before there's any face-time.
You can go on dates everyday, but like others have said, it's exhausting being on all the time.
You can get dating burnout very quickly so just go at a pace that you find comfortable.
If there's a system where so many people are meeting for a similar purpose (relationship seeking) but so few end up relationships, it leads me to question whether the system is flawed by design.
I still use OLD b/c it's convenient and allows me to meet others I would not otherwise meet, but it gets very frustrating very fast and I'm just as single today as the first time I started (with a lot of lost time and money along the way).
If there's a system where so many people are meeting for a similar purpose (relationship seeking) but so few end up relationships, it leads me to question whether the system is flawed by design.
We must realize that most persons who wish to be in a relationship, are already in one. It's simply not the case, that some outsized portion of the general public is suffering from a diminished quality of life, owing to their inability to find a partner. Were this to have been a case, we would have had more outcry and more public support for something to be done about it.
So we're dealing with a problem of which only a small minority is afflicted. Within that minority, yes, it feels like so many people are frantically jostling about, trying to find themselves and to find their so-called other half.
The above notwithstanding, assuredly online dating can be improved. It is most lamentable, that the pay-sites really offer not functionality above that of the free-sites. They involve no vetting and no third-party intercession to mediate. One supposes that somewhere here ought to be a splendid business-opportunity. Surely there are already such businesses? But other than the cheesy ads in airline magazines, I've not seen mention of such businesses. Why?
If there's a system where so many people are meeting for a similar purpose (relationship seeking) but so few end up relationships, it leads me to question whether the system is flawed by design.
I still use OLD b/c it's convenient and allows me to meet others I would not otherwise meet, but it gets very frustrating very fast and I'm just as single today as the first time I started (with a lot of lost time and money along the way).
I wouldn't think of it as lost time and money. After all I think I'm much better at the OLD thing now than when I started out. It's all time and money invested toward something
It varied greatly. Sometimes it would be 3 weeks between dates, and sometimes I'd have 3 new dates in a week. Even at its worst, it was far easier to meet compatible women online than in daily life. I had several short - but good - relationships, a couple of longer ones, and met my wife that way.
I was only on OLD for about a month. I met about eight guys. Most of them I found unsuitable. One, I liked but his schedule was ridiculous. Another we started going out for a couple of weeks but he was better as a friend. Then I met my last boyfriend and we were together for about a year.
I don't know if I would do OLD again. You definitely get more dates though, then just relying on cold approaches out in public or whatever.
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