Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Ive met this great guy a little more than 4 months ago. Im in the middle of 20s and he is in the middle of his 30s.
I dont think its any use telling our whole story till now, except for how he usually is. He tends to call me to say hello when he has his breaks at work, calls me whenever he is available, texts me a lot about everything and nothing (with hearts and kisses emoticons) Just being happy and in love.
Last weekend he was really ill with the flu. I came over to be comfort /as he wanted me there and was really happy to see me. I decided to stay a few days even though i wasnt well myself the last two days. And when im not well, i become kind of needy and not happy. Last day i was there ( monday) i got really frustrated he barely touched me or compliment me in any way like he would normally do. And i would sit in the opposite side of the couch when we watched a few movies together, just being quiet.
I went home tuesday morning after he gone to work. Got a simple text from him that he was arrived his work. He always texts me when he get there so i know hes safe. Nothing ive told him to do, just have become a habit from his side. But this text was short, and i felt the same second he was mad at me.
Since tuesday, he has only written short good morning and good night and hes exhausted and going to bed. No calling me petnames as honey, dear etc, or asked if a slept well, had a good shift at work or how my day was. No emoticons in texts and def not calling me OR calling me back. Like he usually do.
His week with the kids is every other friday, so i suggested i could come sleep at his place (thursday) He didnt reply to my message about me being sick and that i shouldnt have taken it out on him, but he did answer my suggestion about spending the night with "of course we can spend the night together"
I arrived at his place thursday evening. He kissed me in the hallway when i entered his apartment, layed his head on my lap as we watched a movie together, and wanted to hold and kiss my hand as he was lying there. We went to bed, lying close on his arm and he said it was lovely that i wanted to come. We fell asleep and i felt secure enough he wasnt mad at me any more for being a nagging girl all monday. Ive been so afraid thats how he sees a future is going to be with me.
I spent the night. He drove to work this morning. Got the usual message, but still short and nothing likes hes happy about me again. Thats that and nothing else today. Might be a busy day, but its not like him.
Have to mention i havent been nagging at all since monday. Just replied to his messages and asked about sleeping there from yesterday. Thats it. He doesnt seem happy over texts, and i dont know weather is silly of me to be very happy in my replies or just mirror how he writes me. I still feel terrible, and im still so so afraid he is going to end it. He is taking his kids out for a trip this weekend, and since i havent met them yet, im prob not going to see him again until later next week.
Which is fine. I just dont want to be scared and worry all that time. But i still want to hear what others might think this is going or if im completely overreacting.
He just seems so cold and distant, but he is still the one to text me first, even though its short, and way less than last week. Im worried this is his way of slowly ending it- and that he only texts me and keep in touch to be polite. How do i even respond? Should i just show im happy, or write the cold way he does?
English is not my native language. Thank you in advance.
Location: Subconscious Syncope, USA (Northeastern US)
2,365 posts, read 2,149,295 times
Reputation: 3814
Quote:
Originally Posted by yankeegirl313
I don't think you have a thing to worry about.
You are going to be gray haired before your time with such petty nonsense!
I agree.
OP,
Stop apologizing for every little thing. Your post comes across as very needy.
Pet names? A pet name categorizes you with every other woman he has ever dated. I prefer my love to call me by my name. It puts me in a category all my own, whether the relationship lasts or not.
Don't be so needy, and learn to be comfortable in your own skin. If this guy is the ONE, then he will appreciate you just being yourself. If he is not the ONE, then you are just passing time until you find the right guy anyway.
He may seem 'cold' to you but he may have that in mind at all.
You start it and he may think you're the one cooling off.
Just be yourself or you may start a downhill slide.
Don't start playing games unless you're prepared to lose.
Stop apologizing for every little thing. Your post comes across as very needy.
Pet names? A pet name categorizes you with every other woman he has ever dated. I prefer my love to call me by my name. It puts me in a category all my own, whether the relationship lasts or not.
Don't be so needy, and learn to be comfortable in your own skin. If this guy is the ONE, then he will appreciate you just being yourself. If he is not the ONE, then you are just passing time until you find the right guy anyway.
Best wishes!
Its not that i need the petnames, him to say all the cute stuff etc. Its that he is acting so very different from last week, that scares me. I am being myself, but at the same time im afraid of pushing him further away from me- if thats what i already have been doing the last days over the weekend. I will stay the same, and hope he comes around. Appreciate your replies!
He may seem 'cold' to you but he may have that in mind at all.
You start it and he may think you're the one cooling off.
Just be yourself or you may start a downhill slide.
Don't start playing games unless you're prepared to lose.
Thats what ive been thinking too. I dont want to play games with him.
Thank you
He's just getting over the flu. Give him time and a little space.
And do you really need to be called pet names and complimented every second? Maybe he saw last weekend as a turning point in the relationship and feels more comfortable with you, ergo he doesn't need to "charm" you as much.
Just go with it and don't act so needy.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
