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Nope, no marriage plans at all. I have told him he has to go. I knew in my gut ending the relationship was best, but i just wanted some objective opinions from Men i did not know, to make sure i wasnt being overly sensitive. Thanks so much to all the men (and women) who took the time to answer!!
Nope, no marriage plans at all. I have told him he has to go. I knew in my gut ending the relationship was best, but i just wanted some objective opinions from Men i did not know, to make sure i wasnt being overly sensitive. Thanks so much to all the men (and women) who took the time to answer!!
You got some very diverse opinions. Mine was to eject the guy immediately.
This question is directed toward Men, about Finances, and the role a Man should take as "Head of Household."
You are living with your Girlfriend (whom you have asked to Marry), and you make 3 times what she makes. The agreement upon move-in is that you two will split the bills 50/50.
Your Live in Girlfriend does all of the housework, buys all of the groceries, even does the Yard Work, and is a Single Parent to a child from a previous Marriage. You both Work Full-Time Jobs.
As a Man, would you feel bad about only contributing half, (considering you make 3 times as much as your future wife)?
As the Man of the house, If a bill in the amount of $125 is due, would you give your Live in Girlfriend EXACTLY $62.50?
Would you ask your "Live In Girlfriend" if she needed help with any extra financial or household expenses, or would you offer to pay more than your share of the household bills?
I would pay more than half. I could not, would not demand a 50/50 with my income being so much higher. I've always helped with household and especially yard work, as that can become quite physical, and .y lady has serious issues with her neck. Things that require bending, twisting and pushing, like vaccuming, mowing, raking and such, I insist on doing. She could hurt herself to easily, even though she can get quite insistent about helping.
Our incomes are roughly equal, but we do the bills together, keeping things balanced and both her and my accounts keeping cjsbjon for h expected expenses. I insist on nothing, other than she be careful with her neck condition. I'm disabled myself, with a degenerative bone disease in my right ankle and I have no fibula in that leg. But, I have a brace to stabilize it. A simple wrong bend or twist could drop her like a hot rock, and she has no bracing option.
Gratefully accept all help she insists on giving. She does laundry, makes the bed, and insists on doing the bathrooms, for which she has a methodology. But insisting on 50/50? Lol...no way. I won't take a chance on her hurting herself. I do my best not to wound her pride and am always sure I thank her for all she does, I clouding, especially, the unconditional love she shows me. Which I am sure to return, in kind. I would, gladly, lay down my life for her, and equal splitting of bills and household/yard chores is about the most trivial matter I can bring to mind.
Much more important is the equal love we have, and the support , understanding and teamwork, which while things may not be split 50/50, works just fine keeps us both healthy and happy. Physically and emotionally. The love she gives me is worth more than anything related to mundane matters like bills and chores.
This insistence on a strict 50/50 sounds more like a business arrangement than a relationship with so.some you love and cherish. That is how I see it.
Nope, no marriage plans at all. I have told him he has to go. I knew in my gut ending the relationship was best, but i just wanted some objective opinions from Men i did not know, to make sure i wasnt being overly sensitive. Thanks so much to all the men (and women) who took the time to answer!!
Probably the best bet based on what is written here.
You know, when you start out with "Your money" and "My money" it sets a very bad tone for the relationship. If this really is the living together part before getting hitched, then it just goes into a pot and becomes "Our money." Because you commit to a relationship with everything you have. That includes your cash and your trust. Otherwise, no matter how many pious things you say, you're really not all in.
This was my thought too.
OP, you should wait awhile to marry him, let him know what is bothering you and give him some time to change.
I suspect he won't, but should be given a chance.
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I make 28,000 annually before taxes, he makes 78,000 annually.
You have a kid and he's insisting you split all the household bills? You are being used.
I know women with a kid or two with that kind of income who are trapped in a relationship. They simply can't swing rent, utilities, food, a car and car insurance, and the endless kid expenses on that kind of money. I sure hope you are in a very low cost of living area. Anywhere even medium cost, that would be a struggle.
Just to say, it does not have as much to do with what income level each makes or who does what, but rather the two personalities involved, as we have seen here.
This question is directed toward Men, about Finances, and the role a Man should take as "Head of Household."
You are living with your Girlfriend (whom you have asked to Marry), and you make 3 times what she makes. The agreement upon move-in is that you two will split the bills 50/50.
Your Live in Girlfriend does all of the housework, buys all of the groceries, even does the Yard Work, and is a Single Parent to a child from a previous Marriage. You both Work Full-Time Jobs.
As a Man, would you feel bad about only contributing half, (considering you make 3 times as much as your future wife)?
As the Man of the house, If a bill in the amount of $125 is due, would you give your Live in Girlfriend EXACTLY $62.50?
Would you ask your "Live In Girlfriend" if she needed help with any extra financial or household expenses, or would you offer to pay more than your share of the household bills?
The man here should do more of the share of housework and yardwork here or he should pay more. What does he contribute aside from the income?
This question is directed toward Men, about Finances, and the role a Man should take as "Head of Household."
***snip snip****
Would you ask your "Live In Girlfriend" if she needed help with any extra financial or household expenses, or would you offer to pay more than your share of the household bills?
Honestly, that is a weird arrangement for a live in girlfriend. That agreement is for roommates. A live in girlfriend who I've asked to marry? I would take care of everything, especially if I'm making 3x the money.
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He sounds like a cheapskate
