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So, my GF told me last weekend that she is unhappy in the relationship (due to my ED issues) and has no interest in attempting sex with me anymore. Then we talked about a possible breakup and then said we will think about it for a day or two as it was a big decision. Then we reconvened and she said she just can't imagine life without me and is afraid she is making a rash decision and we should stay together. I wasn't sure but I told myself I will think it through as well. I think deep down neither of us was prepared to handle separating as our lives are so meshed together right now and going our own way seems like a scary thought even though it sounds like a logical choice.
Now, she has suddenly done a 180 and is always interested in sex and is saying we should keep trying etc. etc. However, I think any little physical interest I had has now become zero because of her absolute rejection of me, saying that she has zero interest as well.
So, my GF told me last weekend that she is unhappy in the relationship (due to my ED issues) and has no interest in attempting sex with me anymore. Then we talked about a possible breakup and then said we will think about it for a day or two as it was a big decision. Then we reconvened and she said she just can't imagine life without me and is afraid she is making a rash decision and we should stay together. I wasn't sure but I told myself I will think it through as well.
Now, she has suddenly done a 180 and is always interested in sex and is saying we should keep trying etc. etc. However, I think any little physical interest I had has now become zero because of her absolute rejection of me, saying that she has zero interest as well.
How should I handle this situation?
You should summon any courage and dignity you have and make a clean break.
This relationship is seriously damaging your sense of self-worth. Why stay in a relationship by default because you're both scared to step out alone????
Be the brave one and break it off for your own good.
Move on and do not dwell on it. ED is the type of problem that can kill relationships. Her doing a 180 is not the magic bullet that some people believe it is. Your self-esteem and confidence have been badly damaged and no purpose would be served in allowing her to deepen the wound.
Sounds like she's creating a huge case of performance anxiety and that doesn't portend well for the future of your relationship.
Maybe a bit of online research as to what helps and what doesn't might be in order if you both really don't want to split up.
You should summon any courage and dignity you have and make a clean break.
This relationship is seriously damaging your sense of self-worth. Why stay in a relationship by default because you're both scared to step out alone????
Be the brave one and break it off for your own good.
I do agree with this, but it's easier said than done to make a clean break. I'm not an expert at this obviously I'm trying to gather up the courage but it takes time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aura 524
Move on and do not dwell on it. ED is the type of problem that can kill relationships. Her doing a 180 is not the magic bullet that some people believe it is. Your self-esteem and confidence have been badly damaged and no purpose would be served in allowing her to deepen the wound.
so are you saying I should not get into any relationships unless I fix my ED? But how can I fix my ED if I don't get into a relationship? I think it's a chicken and egg problem here.
In addition, what if I did not have ED now but somehow get it in the future, say after 5-6 years together? Things in life are not guaranteed after all and how knows what can happen in the future. Do I have to expect my partner to leave me just because I got ED?
Turning the tables, say my partner got some sexual problem and I couldn't have sex with her I most definitely wouldn't leave her if I loved her... infact, my mindset would be that my partner needs my support the most since it would be a difficult time for her and rather than bailing I would try to research how to fix the issue or see how we could mutually have fun given the situation we have.
I think true love has a bit of a selfless component to it, you do care about the welfare of your partner before your own.
I do agree with this, but it's easier said than done to make a clean break. I'm not an expert at this obviously I'm trying to gather up the courage but it takes time.
so are you saying I should not get into any relationships unless I fix my ED? But how can I fix my ED if I don't get into a relationship? I think it's a chicken and egg problem here.
In addition, what if I did not have ED now but somehow get it in the future, say after 5-6 years together? Things in life are not guaranteed after all and how knows what can happen in the future. Do I have to expect my partner to leave me just because I got ED?
Turning the tables, say my partner got some sexual problem and I couldn't have sex with her I most definitely wouldn't leave her if I loved her... infact, my mindset would be that my partner needs my support the most since it would be a difficult time for her and rather than bailing I would try to research how to fix the issue or see how we could mutually have fun given the situation we have.
I think true love has a bit of a selfless component to it, you do care about the welfare of your partner before your own.
Either way, she does not have true love for you, as she has proven with her behavior toward you time and time again.
You should break up with this girl, pursue a medical diagnosis as advised in your thread yesterday, and then psychological/emotional therapy.
FTR< "making the break" does NOT take time. You just do it. Adjusting to being broken up takes time, but you cannot do that until you stop dragging it out and just break up with her. No contact. The end.
So, my GF told me last weekend that she is unhappy in the relationship (due to my ED issues) and has no interest in attempting sex with me anymore. Then we talked about a possible breakup and then said we will think about it for a day or two as it was a big decision. Then we reconvened and she said she just can't imagine life without me and is afraid she is making a rash decision and we should stay together. I wasn't sure but I told myself I will think it through as well. I think deep down neither of us was prepared to handle separating as our lives are so meshed together right now and going our own way seems like a scary thought even though it sounds like a logical choice.
Now, she has suddenly done a 180 and is always interested in sex and is saying we should keep trying etc. etc. However, I think any little physical interest I had has now become zero because of her absolute rejection of me, saying that she has zero interest as well.
How should I handle this situation?
Mate I think you've become platonic friends more than lovers ( partners ) and I think a separation is what's needed.
I understand that you've been together for a while but it's honestly holding you back , whatever happened to that bird you met in the elevator?, you had the drive, enthusiasm and will power to see her again that you just don't have in your current situation
If she loved you, she would not reject you for whatever condition you have. If I learned that my guy (who I am in love with) was experiencing ED, I would be supportive and work together with him through a solution. If it took years, I would still stay the course together with him. It's through thick and thin when you commit to a person.
Perhaps with future relations, don't engage in sexual activity until you are both really in love. Love will conquer all - if she gets a chance to fall in love with you, the trust that you are now lackingwill emerge.
Good luck, OP.
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I'm trying to gather up the courage but it takes time.
, whatever happened to that bird you met in the elevator?, you had the drive, enthusiasm and will power to see her again that you just don't have in your current situation 
