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Girlfriend just laid this one on me: Her younger brother (who is 22) just informed her and their dad that he plans on getting engaged to his GF (who is 19) of 6 months and married by the end of the year.
It's both the brother's and the GF's first relationship. Both are extremely religious. He just completed his Jr year in college and she her freshman year. He then wants to go on to seminary school after and she wants to drop out of college, because supposedly, that's what mother and grandmother did (to go to school to find a husband and then have kids).
My girlfriend is freaked out because it's way too fast and we both think it's because of the deep religion aspect playing a role (no sexual conduct of any kind before marriage) and that there's zero foresight into the future. He's about 5 years away from graduating actually making money, and she's really smart (4.0 in high school) and has a bright future.
I know this is pretty much a "It's their lives, they need to do what they want" kind of thing, but this seems to have a recipe for disaster written all over it. Any ideas?
Don't worry about it. Quite a few of my family members are extremely religious and have gotten married early. Out of more than a half dozen, all are doing well, surprisingly.
It's strange and seems like a narrow and limited lifestyle, but it beats having multiple babies to different fathers, never finding a stable partnership,or simply whining about relationship woes online.
OP your own answer is in your own post. Well as a person who married way too early. I can say this, some times everything will work out very well some times it wont. After 12 years I am divorced but not every one. If they are clicked very well I don't see any reason to have a written disaster. It is their choice and be positive . No one can say what will happen after marriage or after another 10 years.
A big concern for us is financial. Right now, her parents are supporting her through college. If she drops out and gets married, then she'll be either a housewife or working minimum wage jobs. My GF's brother is still in school for 5 years. So who will support the "family"?
Also, though the issue has never directly come up, We do know that her brother is against birth control and thinks "natural" family planning is the only option, which isn't really birth control... It's just playing roulette.
As far as family upbringing, it's not like that on his end. Yes, the children were brought up religious and went to church, but my GF and I are moving in together and whatnot, and the other brother is much more relaxed as well.
The whole thing just seems rushed. I know with my GF, we've had long discussions about the future, financial planning, family planning etc. But we're both in our mid 20's and have stable career jobs, money saved for a downpayment on a house and for retirement, etc. Completely different stage
A big concern for us is financial. Right now, her parents are supporting her through college. If she drops out and gets married, then she'll be either a housewife or working minimum wage jobs. My GF's brother is still in school for 5 years. So who will support the "family"?
Also, though the issue has never directly come up, We do know that her brother is against birth control and thinks "natural" family planning is the only option, which isn't really birth control... It's just playing roulette.
As far as family upbringing, it's not like that on his end. Yes, the children were brought up religious and went to church, but my GF and I are moving in together and whatnot, and the other brother is much more relaxed as well.
In their belief, she may be a housewife and happy. Natural family planning is a real thing- avoid the days you ovulate and abstain from sex near those days. Its also called the Calendar Method.
In my belief, I am not to work as a wife/mother and we dont believe in birth control either.
(we didnt get married to have sex though but we did hurry to it)
A big concern for us is financial. Right now, her parents are supporting her through college. If she drops out and gets married, then she'll be either a housewife or working minimum wage jobs. My GF's brother is still in school for 5 years. So who will support the "family"?
Also, though the issue has never directly come up, We do know that her brother is against birth control and thinks "natural" family planning is the only option, which isn't really birth control... It's just playing roulette.
As far as family upbringing, it's not like that on his end. Yes, the children were brought up religious and went to church, but my GF and I are moving in together and whatnot, and the other brother is much more relaxed as well.
The whole thing just seems rushed. I know with my GF, we've had long discussions about the future, financial planning, family planning etc. But we're both in our mid 20's and have stable career jobs, money saved for a downpayment on a house and for retirement, etc. Completely different stage
Live and let live. What may work for you, may not work for them.
My wife and I were engaged within three months and married ten months after our first meeting. Twenty-five years later, we're still waiting to see if it will stick.
My wife and I were engaged within three months and married ten months after our first meeting. Twenty-five years later, we're still waiting to see if it will stick.
My wife and I were engaged within three months and married ten months after our first meeting. Twenty-five years later, we're still waiting to see if it will stick.
I'm guessing that one of you had a job that could support the other though.... right?
My Dw and I married when we were both 22. We dated less than a year before we got married. We were both in the same Jesus cult.
This year will be our 35th anniversary.
It can work out okay.
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