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hey guys. Really need some help here. Its hell in my head. Met my ex gf in college, we fell in love and had a great relationship. were together for over 2 years but things got really difficult after school, we couldnt see each other much and it was just hard for us and she broke up with me 8 months after school ended.
When we were together things were great, we got along really well, talked all the time and became so close we were best friends and loved each other alot. Those two years we were together were the best years of our lives and it just sucked that it had to end.
After we broke up we never really talked much. we broke up last year around this time. And she messaged me last month and we have been talking on and off ever since.
she talks hot and cold sometimes, and we talked over the phone a few times but not in a few days.
Honestly speaking i still have feelings for her, she meant alot to me and i loved her alot, we were extremely close and it was hard when things ended.
when we talk we reminisce alot, says she misses how things use to be, how she wish she could go back to those times we had and stuff and told a friend of mine she missed me also. We've been talking for about a month now. Never talked about reconciliation.
we never really went out when we were together because we never really could of because of her parents and stuff, so we spend every day together in school. we enjoyed spending time together and talking and i do miss her.
i asked her out but she says when shes ready, i wasnt really dissapointed because like i said we never really went out. she says she'll come by sometime because she also has some things to drop for me.
I want to tell her how i feel. Is easier now because we are talking again and im just not sure when to tell her and exactly what to tell her.
do i tell her soon or after she visits me, im not too sure when she'll come by. My heads going crazy with thoughts. If i could try again with her id love that because the times we had were the best and happiest times of my life.
I mean, you could TRY it, but exes are usually "ex" for a reason.
I don't know if it's just the way you wrote about it or the way the relationship was, but I am reading a LOT of wishy-washy, noncommital navel-gazing. What, exactly, are you planning to tell her?
I'm betting this is 15% feelings and 85% nostalgia, and there is a huge chance you will ruin the good memories you had by dragging yourselves through an even worse breakup the second time around.
Sorry about the writing english isnt my first language. I know what we had wasnt a full blown realationship because we didnt do many things. safe to say all we did was talk on the phone every day and spend everyday together for 2 years, never really went out or anything. She did meet my parents and stuff and my family, we were serious but things just got difficult mostly because we were young and it ended.
Now that we have been talking again the feelings do come back. We were just really close and i missed that. I did move on and been with other girls and it was great.
But things were diff with her, and she said that as well and said that things really did get difficult after school.
we spent all our time together and became really close. sometimes i think we met each other at the righ place but the wrong time.
what i want to say to her? I dont know exactly. But id like to tell her i still think about her everyday, and the time i had with her were the best and happiest times of my life, i never felt that way before in my life i only felt that way when i was with her. and now that some times gone by i knew what we had and it was the best thing i ever had and if we could do it again, i would like to.
Then there's a chance you might be able to try things again.
The fact that you didn't really go out on dates is not that unusual for a college relationship. It sounds like you two had a strong bond. It might be worth pursuing.
There's nothing wrong with being honest with someone you used to love about your feelings for them. Honestly, though, you need to prepare yourself for the possibility that it may not work out the way you hope.
Why is it difficult, even impossible, to leave the past in the past?
Yes, you can try to start something with an ex. However if you do end up in a relationship, you'll end up broke up again. Your best bet is to leave the past in the past. Delete contact information and everything.
Then there's a chance you might be able to try things again.
The fact that you didn't really go out on dates is not that unusual for a college relationship. It sounds like you two had a strong bond. It might be worth pursuing.
There's nothing wrong with being honest with someone you used to love about your feelings for them. Honestly, though, you need to prepare yourself for the possibility that it may not work out the way you hope.
we did have a strong bond. even though it didnt contain everything it was really special. we were always there for each other no matter what and talked about everything.
Actually i already have. Its not like i'll be incredibly sad or hurt if she doesnt want to get back together, i'll respect her decision and move on. But the way i see it is i have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Why is it difficult, even impossible, to leave the past in the past?
Yes, you can try to start something with an ex. However if you do end up in a relationship, you'll end up broke up again. Your best bet is to leave the past in the past. Delete contact information and everything.
That is best.
It isnt difficult. After we broke up and i did all the stupid things of begging and pleading and stuff i left her alone and moved on with my life. she contacted me 2 months after to see how i was doing, i said good and ended the convo, a month after she contacted me again and just made small talk.
I stopped talking to her and she didnt really say anything again just messaged me a few times and that was that.
This isnt an excuse or anything but i grew up tough, i went through everything from poverty to violence, abusive father and broken home and still going through stuff right now. She was there though, for comfort, for love, to listen to talk for everything, she was there and i couldve always talk to her with things without holding back.
that brought us closer together and one of the reasons im so fond of her other than all the great times together.
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