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My wife and I have been together since 2005. Our daughter turns two in November.
I've noticed that in recent years, my wife hasn't been as inclined to kiss, especially during intimacy. This, I feel, has driven down the passion factor a bit.
I asked her why and she's given me varying reasons at different times. She insists it has nothing to do with me.
Without getting too graphic:
1. She's self-conscious of her breath, which didn't seem to be an issue before. I told her she can always chew gum/brush her teeth.
2. She doesn't like to lock lips after I've gone downtown, as the taste grosses her out. Again, this wasn't the case in years past.
3. She says she's noticed how much deep kissing turns me on and she'd rather leave it for the end so that things don't end prematurely.
4. When the baby was younger and slept in our room, my wife said deep kissing turned her on very much, which makes her get louder -- and she was afraid to wake up our daughter.
I wanted to ask you ladies in particular whether any of the above seem reasonable or suspect. Have you experienced something similar?
Has your interest in kissing during intimacy -- especially after being together a long time and/or becoming a mom -- cooled off at all?
Do you need your man to kiss you (which I try doing to her) in order to feel more interested in kissing him, or not always?
If I am harboring some sort of resentment or I have an issue with my partner I'm much less inclined to kiss. Kissing feels more intimate than sex so even though the sex is still happening the kissing not so much.
An ex of mine started smoking "for his nerves" a long time ago and even with breath mints and mouthwash it was a huge turnoff.
If I am harboring some sort of resentment or I have an issue with my partner I'm much less inclined to kiss. Kissing feels more intimate than sex so even though the sex is still happening the kissing not so much.
She's also told me that she prefers watching romantic movie scenes to porn -- that kissing scenes in particular get her in the mood.
She's also told me that she prefers watching romantic movie scenes to porn -- that kissing scenes in particular get her in the mood.
That's why it's all so confusing
If she's making up different excuses not kiss you and that sort of thing is what she likes that means there's something more there. She's not wanting to have that intimacy with you. Need the question becomes is it you or is it her.
I'm a guy but I've been with my partner for 13 years and we kiss as much as we did when we started. Before during and after sex.
Usually, when someone does not want to make someone else feel bad, s/he would say "It's me, not you". Maybe this is your wife's case. Check your breaths, hygiene and check how you treat her everyday.
There are reasons couples wane in kissing. From my reading, observations and own experience, I see that the major reason for men is they find their wives less attractive through the years and find somebody else. The major reason for women is they don't feel loved or help with the housework from their husbands, they become resentful or feeling tired. Not for all, of course. Many people can pretend for some reasons, or they just want sex, they pretend to kiss first. Gentle kisses are some kinds of higher and pure intimacy. Nice kissing leads to beautiful sex to make both feel satisfied and happy.
I have been married for several decades. She checked and still checks every box on my wish list. I am very attracted to her, which drives her crazy because I'm always ready. Kissing? Those big soft lips with dimples kick my butt every time so NO ISSUES!
Usually, when someone does not want to make someone else feel bad, s/he would say "It's me, not you". Maybe this is your wife's case. Check your breaths, hygiene and check how you treat her everyday.
I was going to say something similar. You both go to the dentist every six months, get your teeth cleaned, brush and floss every day, don't have gross tarter or anything?
Also, are you capable of giving her a good smooch without it progressing to something more? One thing that really annoyed me about my ex-husband was that he couldn't just have a nice kiss---not huffing and puffing on the couch like teenagers, but a nice kiss that conveyed love and affection, and maybe a hug---without then wanting more, so I learned not to kiss him unless I was interested in having sex. I certainly didn't want to hear any whining about blue balls because he got turned on by anything more than a quarter-second peck.
My ex-boyfriend hated kissing. Gotta be honest, in a way, I was glad he did because he was a mediocre kisser at best. Unfortunately, he did live up to what shrinks say about how kissing is an intimate thing and if a partner hates it, they probably have issues with emotional closeness. That's why he's my ex.
I haven't had a nice, good kiss in years, come to think of it. I don't miss it, or anything physical except for maybe just snuggling up together watching a movie or something, and maybe that's a good thing, too, because I probably forgot how!
If I am harboring some sort of resentment or I have an issue with my partner I'm much less inclined to kiss. Kissing feels more intimate than sex so even though the sex is still happening the kissing not so much.
An ex of mine started smoking "for his nerves" a long time ago and even with breath mints and mouthwash it was a huge turnoff.
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I am almost always in a resentful mood, and almost always have issues.
I guess what I want, is a divorce, but...................
I always hated any form of kissing anyway, so to me, I could care less....
I'm a guy but I've been with my partner for 13 years and we kiss as much as we did when we started. Before during and after sex.
Wow, good for you. We've been married for 10 years and dont kiss even close to as much as we did when we first got together.
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