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So you're saying you're unattractive in ways other than looks. Can't you work on changing that? MOST people have to work on ourselves in many different ways. Often that's down to maturing and learning about other people and becoming less self-centered as we are when we're children, but there are other things we may need to work on. I don't think it's "not being oneself" to work on things that are making us flat-our miserable (i.e. keeping us lonely and alone) - indeed, often those particular traits that we think of as "being ourselves!!!" were actually negative reactions; for example, being shy because of having been yelled at as children for speaking out, or being too prone to anger because we came from a large family and were bullied by siblings, or a million other possibilities. Why not work on yourself?
I said "based on more than looks". Which means looks plus other areas. I have worked on myself over the years and have become comfortable with bring alone thanks to photography, friends, family, hitting the gym, traveling, and work. I plan to add guitar lessons in the near future. My time is full and I am by no means miserable and lonely.
I said "based on more than looks". Which means looks plus other areas. I have worked on myself over the years and have become comfortable with bring alone thanks to photography, friends, family, hitting the gym, ltraveling, and work. I plan to add guitar lessons in the near future. My time is full and I am by no means miserable and lonely.
I agree, it's like you can be the best person you can be but if you aren't getting dates you need to work on yourself. Which I think is straight bs and i'm glad you're comfortable with yourself, I was going to go abroad but you have given me an idea. Forget dating and to do stuff I actually enjoy.
I agree, it's like you can be the best person you can be but if you aren't getting dates you need to work on yourself. Which I think is straight bs and i'm glad you're comfortable with yourself, I was going to go abroad but you have given me an idea. Forget dating and to do stuff I actually enjoy.
I agree, it's like you can be the best person you can be but if you aren't getting dates you need to work on yourself. Which I think is straight bs and i'm glad you're comfortable with yourself, I was going to go abroad but you have given me an idea. Forget dating and to do stuff I actually enjoy.
Life is short. Do what you enjoy and forget the other stuff
I agree, it's like you can be the best person you can be but if you aren't getting dates you need to work on yourself. Which I think is straight bs and i'm glad you're comfortable with yourself, I was going to go abroad but you have given me an idea. Forget dating and to do stuff I actually enjoy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011
Why is it bs to work on yourself?
I think he's suggesting that a person may be doing all or at least most of what he or she can reasonably do to be a "datable" person, including doing those things because he or she enjoys them and not primarily to be datable, and still have no success. That is possible.
I think he's suggesting that a person may be doing all or at least most of what he or she can reasonably do to be a "datable" person, including doing those things because he or she enjoys them and not primarily to be datable, and still have no success. That is possible.
You hear alot that if you're gonna approach a women in public make eye contact and smile at her and if she returns a smile and holds eye contact take a chance and approach.
Every time I've done that I literally get ignored and never have gotten a smile or eye contact back
This probably works for good looking guys but for the unattractive men like myself I can't see this working
Usually if a girl is smiling and making eye contact with you it is a very good thing.
Of course context is important. If the girl is a waitress serving you drinks I wouldn't think much of it.
JEEZ! Now that guy needs some coaching! I'd start with a fine arse-whuppin to take his confidence level down a notch and then work up from there.
Man. you gotta get noticed first!
I went on a date once with a guy who approached me at a supermarket. He came up when I was at the salad bar making a salad, and he was not creepy, but charming and outgoing and sweet. He walked up and said something about me being too beautiful to be eating dinner from a salad bar, and could he take me to dinner instead? I said yes, but I live in a city where there are several restaurants within 2 blocks of the market, I would not have gotten into a car with him. So we walked to a local restaurant, and although in the end we weren't really a match (we had very little in common), it was a nice experience.
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JEEZ! Now that guy needs some coaching! I'd start with a fine arse-whuppin to take his confidence level down a notch and then work up from there.
