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Gosh that is tough but to be honest, you have to be attracted to this person for it to work. Maybe she can try to lose the weight.
Yup - thanks Philopower - You've 'got it' ... it's indeed very tough (hence my post) - and not a topic I'd raise with her without a choice of that or a firing squad
OTOH I'm also thinking now "What if it were me?"... What would she say or do or feel towards me? Hmmmm :-/
That's a tuff call....I'm thinking your best bet would be to just remain friends. I think it would be very unfair to the relationship, as well as her, if you were to marry her feeling as you do.
I also feel that if her weight is a turn off now, it may always be....she may struggle her whole life with fluctuating weight ...are you gonna wanna be close when she's thin...but not when she's fat?
It's not shallow to be thinking about this now...it would be shallow to not be.
I think I'd be tempted to tell her I'm having second thoughts about the marriage...blame it on cold feet, not wanting responsibility...whatever...just make it out to be YOUR problem, not hers, cause you don't want to lose a friend or hurt her feelings.
Yup - thanks Philopower - You've 'got it' ... it's indeed very tough (hence my post) - and not a topic I'd raise with her without a choice of that or a firing squad
OTOH I'm also thinking now "What if it were me?"... What would she say or do or feel towards me? Hmmmm :-/
Questions: How old are you guys? What's the plan with this long distance issue: Will she quite her job and move to where you are and find a new job?
Men are more visual and women are more emotional. I didn't say "completely," just "more." A woman can do it with a obese or ugly man easily, when compared to a man having to do it with an ugly woman, because he has to perform. Not much performance needed on the woman's part.
Now to your issue. If you can't even openly talk about such OBVIOUS and HUGE issue, are you really best friends? How can you expect to be in a happy marriage when the line of open communication is virtually non-existent for major issues?
You keep talk about this web stuff. Wouldn't it be much easier to break this web now than 3 years down the road when there is a marriage, combined mortgage and possibly a child in the picture?
How about postponing the marriage until the issue at hand is resolved, whether it takes 6 months or 3 year?
Please read Relationships forum rules in the Sticky thread. Weight-related threads are not permitted. Sorry folks, but this thread is now closed.
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Last edited by PJSaturn; 09-06-2016 at 09:01 AM..
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