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After my son was born five years ago, my wife has lost any desire for sex, resulting in maybe us having sex a half dozen times a year. Though we have had some discussions on the matter, she basically tells me that I will just have to get over her not wanting sex. That even though I want her to want to have sex with me, she just doesn't have the desire and that I will need to either have sex with her or not. If I do, I have to accept that she is just doing it to satisfy whatever needs I have...Obviously this is a problem.
She has discussed this issue with her doctor. The doctor prescribed a hormonal cream, but that did not do much at all for the problem. She has since ceased the treatment and is not interested in exploring other possible treatments. To add to this, within the last year or so, she has become less and less affectionate.
The thing is, we get along great and except for the lack of intimacy and affection have a great relationship. I do love her and she me and of course our son is a great kid(isn't everybody's?). Basically, I feel as if I have been "freindzoned" by my wife.
FYI, I am 42 my wife 39, we are healthy. I have certainly have a strong sex-drive and have been very very frustrated with the situation for some time. I am looking for advise, but I am not interested in hearing anything dealing with, "well just have an affair or something along those lines.
After my son was born five years ago, my wife has lost any desire for sex, resulting in maybe us having sex a half dozen times a year. Though we have had some discussions on the matter, she basically tells me that I will just have to get over her not wanting sex. That even though I want her to want to have sex with me, she just doesn't have the desire and that I will need to either have sex with her or not. If I do, I have to accept that she is just doing it to satisfy whatever needs I have...Obviously this is a problem.
She has discussed this issue with her doctor. The doctor prescribed a hormonal cream, but that did not do much at all for the problem. She has since ceased the treatment and is not interested in exploring other possible treatments. To add to this, within the last year or so, she has become less and less affectionate.
The thing is, we get along great and except for the lack of intimacy and affection have a great relationship. I do love her and she me and of course our son is a great kid(isn't everybody's?). Basically, I feel as if I have been "freindzoned" by my wife.
FYI, I am 42 my wife 39, we are healthy. I have certainly have a strong sex-drive and have been very very frustrated with the situation for some time. I am looking for advise, but I am not interested in hearing anything dealing with, "well just have an affair or something along those lines.
Any thoughts?
Yeah, if my wife had said that, there would definitely be problems.
You're well within your right to want affection, intimacy, and sex. You say it's not even just the sex, but that the affection has gone way down as well. That doesn't bold well at all, and makes me wonder if she has some underlying resentment issues with you.
After my son was born five years ago, my wife has lost any desire for sex, resulting in maybe us having sex a half dozen times a year. Though we have had some discussions on the matter, she basically tells me that I will just have to get over her not wanting sex. That even though I want her to want to have sex with me, she just doesn't have the desire and that I will need to either have sex with her or not. If I do, I have to accept that she is just doing it to satisfy whatever needs I have...Obviously this is a problem.
She has discussed this issue with her doctor. The doctor prescribed a hormonal cream, but that did not do much at all for the problem. She has since ceased the treatment and is not interested in exploring other possible treatments. To add to this, within the last year or so, she has become less and less affectionate.
The thing is, we get along great and except for the lack of intimacy and affection have a great relationship. I do love her and she me and of course our son is a great kid(isn't everybody's?). Basically, I feel as if I have been "freindzoned" by my wife.
FYI, I am 42 my wife 39, we are healthy. I have certainly have a strong sex-drive and have been very very frustrated with the situation for some time. I am looking for advise, but I am not interested in hearing anything dealing with, "well just have an affair or something along those lines.
Any thoughts?
I read this and have an opinion:
She got what she wanted which is a child, now you're on divorce countdown in her head.
I'm sorry but I've heard this scenario over and over again, she's just "tolerating you" as you're just a means to an end whatever that is for her on any given day at this point.
Having a child changes a lot of things (even if the birth was 5 years ago). Your wife could be dealing with feeling over-whelmed. Since your child is 5, she may be dealing with those feelings that come with sending a child to school. (Sometimes easier on the kid!)
Things to think about: Does she work outside the house? Full time or part-time? Is she responsible for packed lunches everyday? For getting the child to school/on the bus? Is she exhausted all the time? Who does the grocery shopping? Does she get time away to herself? (Each parent should get Me Time - and Us Time.) Does she feel good about her body? It's natural to feel self-conscience, especially if her body didn't "bounce back".
She got what she wanted which is a child, now you're on divorce countdown in her head.
I'm sorry but I've heard this scenario over and over again, she's just "tolerating you" as you're just a means to an end whatever that is for her on any given day at this point.
I wished that I had positive to say.
Good Luck!
Sad to say this is a very big possibility. Especially given the age of your wife . Some women panic when they get to their 30s. Bio Clock ticking. So they try to hurry and settle down before they think it's too late to have kids. So your wife may care for you in a platonic way, but not romantically or sexual. So now that your son is there, he's her main priority. Parenthood. And she has no need or desire for any sexual aspects.
However, all woman are different with pregnancy, birth and parenthood. Some may take years to get back to being sexual with their husbands. So it's a tough period. Especially with depression that can come afterward, and certain medications that further decrease sexual desire.
For now, you could try asking her to open your marriage, and have your sexual desires met elsewhere while continuing to work on the snag.
After my son was born five years ago, my wife has lost any desire for sex, resulting in maybe us having sex a half dozen times a year. Though we have had some discussions on the matter, she basically tells me that I will just have to get over her not wanting sex. That even though I want her to want to have sex with me, she just doesn't have the desire and that I will need to either have sex with her or not. If I do, I have to accept that she is just doing it to satisfy whatever needs I have...Obviously this is a problem.
She has discussed this issue with her doctor. The doctor prescribed a hormonal cream, but that did not do much at all for the problem. She has since ceased the treatment and is not interested in exploring other possible treatments. To add to this, within the last year or so, she has become less and less affectionate.
The thing is, we get along great and except for the lack of intimacy and affection have a great relationship. I do love her and she me and of course our son is a great kid(isn't everybody's?). Basically, I feel as if I have been "freindzoned" by my wife.
FYI, I am 42 my wife 39, we are healthy. I have certainly have a strong sex-drive and have been very very frustrated with the situation for some time. I am looking for advise, but I am not interested in hearing anything dealing with, "well just have an affair or something along those lines.
Any thoughts?
I'm sorry you are going through this.
Sex and affection is an important part of a marriage. Women may experienced decreased arousal for any number of reasons:
1. Weight gain (don't feel sexy)
2. Depression/anxiety (and take medication which literally kills your sex drive)
3. Boredom with sex routine (maybe try to change it up. Visit a sex shop together)
4. Feel like there is no time (maybe schedule a date night every week where your son is visiting Grandma or something)
Explore each of these with her first. If it's none of above, I suggest you find out what your wife's love language is. Take the test online and have her do so as well. You may "tap" into what turns her on.
After my son was born five years ago, my wife has lost any desire for sex, resulting in maybe us having sex a half dozen times a year. Though we have had some discussions on the matter, she basically tells me that I will just have to get over her not wanting sex. That even though I want her to want to have sex with me, she just doesn't have the desire and that I will need to either have sex with her or not. If I do, I have to accept that she is just doing it to satisfy whatever needs I have...Obviously this is a problem.
She has discussed this issue with her doctor. The doctor prescribed a hormonal cream, but that did not do much at all for the problem. She has since ceased the treatment and is not interested in exploring other possible treatments. To add to this, within the last year or so, she has become less and less affectionate.
The thing is, we get along great and except for the lack of intimacy and affection have a great relationship. I do love her and she me and of course our son is a great kid(isn't everybody's?). Basically, I feel as if I have been "freindzoned" by my wife.
FYI, I am 42 my wife 39, we are healthy. I have certainly have a strong sex-drive and have been very very frustrated with the situation for some time. I am looking for advise, but I am not interested in hearing anything dealing with, "well just have an affair or something along those lines.
Any thoughts?
I guess she will have to deal with you banging the neighbor.
I don't like to hear about divorce and I'm one to hope that marriages can be saved.
My feeling is that she's already checked out of that "arrangement".
Hope you're doing well.
I think so too. I'm doing great.
Hope you are well too my friend.
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