S/O not bringing me to a wedding and I'm feeling left out (date, girls)

[forum_browser]

If he really considered you his SO, he would take you to the wedding.

[The Dissenter]

Originally Posted by forum_browser

If he really considered you his SO, he would take you to the wedding.

Don't think it's that simple. I'd be hesitant to take someone I RECENTLY started dating again to a wedding, especially if I would not be available to them for most the occasion and if they didn't know anyone. I think dude is doing his gf a favor personally speaking.

[gentlearts]

[quote=lm0905;46232411]Background: SO and I were together from 2011-beginning of 2013... We recently got back together and things, for the most part, has been great except for a couple of arguments (nothing too major)

So SO, who is white, has a friend group that is mostly Indian. Is best friend is Indian, and he is also good friends with his best friend's brothers. The groom is Indian, so is the bride, so it's obviously going to be an Indian wedding. I've never been to an Indian weeding, so I thought it would be a good opportunity to go to one since I've heard they are amazing.

One of the guys' in SO's friend group (37ish) is getting married in December. I have met this friend a few times and he has always been very friendly. SO got a +1 to the wedding, so I assumed I was going to be able to go I had lunch with my S/O today and he told me that he wasn't going to use the +1 for the wedding. I was kind of upset about it and I asked him why.

He told me that the day of the wedding, although he is not strictly a Groomsman, he is apart of the wedding, he is going to be super busy with the wedding and wouldn't be able to be with me for most of the wedding. He told me that since I'd only know one or two other people, one of which is involved in the wedding too, I'd be by myself most of the time.

I told him that I would be fine with that and I could meet other people and he said that a wedding is not the place to do it.

I got upset because I told him I wanted to spend New Years Eve with him and now it sucks that he apparently doesn't care about spending it with me.

Does his reasoning make sense? I want to believe it does, but I'm still a little upset about him choosing to not bring me to the wedding so I can't spend NYE with me. If I sound bratty, please tell me and I'll stop thinking this way lol.


ALSO: i'm not one to go up to people and introduce myself to them. I usually wait for someone to come up to me or for someone to introduce me to someone else... I guess I'd consider myself more shy than outgoing. If that changes anything[/QU

He's just not that into you, sorry.
If he was, he would want every opportunity to show you off to his friends, and to be with you. Now, he's making lame excuses not to do this. He's probably looking to find some single women at the wedding.

[Book Lover 21]

It's possible that he said some unkind things about you to these friends when you split up. Now it's awkward.

[TabulaRasa]

I'very been a +1 at MANY weddings and events where my spouse was integrally involved and I didn't know anybody (spouse is a military NCO, there are balls, cocktail parties and formal events at different commands where you don't necessarily know others).

It's not wrong or weird to assume you'd be invited if a partner gets a +1 invitation. If a partner suspects you'd be bored or uncomfortable, the appropriate thing is to give you an out and leave the decision to you...not decide for you that you're not going. That's weird and disrespectful. I don't think the assumption that you're not wanted there is offbase, though the reasons for that could be varied.He could be wanting to present himself as single, his friends may not be that friendly toward you due to your earlier breakup...etc. but I would take the message that you're not wanted there loud and clear. It's not being done out of deference to you, that's for sure.

[TabulaRasa]

Also, a wedding is TOTALLY the place to meet new people. They're typically full of strangers, if they're of any size (and traditional Indian weddings are LAAAAAARGE). His "Weddings really aren't the place to met new people, so you can't go" bit further speaks to him just not wanting you to go.

[TabulaRasa]

Also, it's not wrong or unreasonable to be upset at getting ditched on a holiday when you're in a relationship.

As an aside, I have also always thought that it's an a-hole move to have weddings on Christmas, New Year's Eve, etc., FWIW. I don't go to those, because, hello, I have plans, as do most people. My cousin got married the weekend after Thanksgiving. Dude, people just made big road trips/flights. Now you expect them to tack on another? Just me.

[canadiangirl_2015]

I actually think you are over reacting. You have admitting you would expect him to entertain you, he isn't up for that and will be busy. Just make your own plans, being a couple doesn't mean you have to do every single thing together, and honestly if my husband was invited to a wedding and I wouldn't know anyone and it was new years, I would probably just plan a night out with friends, or stay home with my dogs and my kid. Not a big deal. If you really think he isn't inviting you because he wants to be single then don't be with him. Otherwise, relax a bit

[TabulaRasa]

honestly if my husband was invited to a wedding and I wouldn't know anyone and it was new years, I would probably just plan a night out with friends, or stay home with my dogs and my kid.

I might, too...but it should be my choice to make. Not decided for me.

A partner telling me, "No, I don't want you at this social event that you were invited to and want to go to with me," is not cool.

[strawberrykiki]

He definitely is giving you the message that he doesn't want you there. He sure has a lot of excuses. I would plan something fun to do on NYE w/ your family or friends and then I would seriously rethink this relationship.