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I've just returned home after seeing my long distance boyfriend for a few days. I'm 18 and he's 27. We met on an online game this time last year and started to grow really close this summer. I've never felt so close to anyone in my life. We've spoken online for several hours every single day since July and met in person for the first time in October. He had only just broken up with his girlfriend a couple of weeks before we met, so we didn't become a couple until recently. He's been such a gentleman knowing I'm so much younger than him and still a virgin, and has said he wants to take things slow because he respects me so much.
I was worried about us getting together so quickly so soon after ending things with his girlfriend because he was with her for such a long time and she was closer to his age, but he managed to make me feel so much better and ease my worries. He said he had been unhappy with his girlfriend for a very long time and had fallen out of love and that I'm the one he loves. Apparently she was completely selfish and possessive of him. It made him miserable and he could never have a life outside of her. She used him and neglected him.
I had such a lovely time with my boyfriend the last few days. Saturday we arranged to go out with one of his friends who I also know from the online game we play together. My boyfriend asked me to text his friend to let him know he was running late, so I grabbed his phone and did so. I was so upset and shocked at what I then saw...
His ex girlfriends name was quite high up in his list of text messages. I knew they were still talking — my boyfriend made me aware of this and said she's been having a hard time with the break up and pestering him a lot because she knows he's with me now. However, when I saw the most recent message under her name I quickly became aware this wasn't what was going on... My heart was racing and I panicked, my emotions got the better of me, so I clicked her name and saw my boyfriend had sent her loads of texts without a response from her. The last message she actually sent to him was 3 weeks ago. She told him she couldn't be friends with him because she loved him too much but she would be fine, and told him not to worry about her and that she just wanted him to be happy even if it couldn't be with her. He has sent her like 5 text messages since with no response from her at all... He was saying he hoped she was okay, that he really missed her and their time together, talking with her and hanging out with her, and that he thought the world of her and always would.
I don't know what to do or even think. I didn't tell him I saw the messages as it's just so wrong and inappropriate that I looked in the first place, and I just want to pretend I never did... It was so hard being around him the rest of the weekend, but we've been talking online all day together and he seems happy and so am I. I love him so much. What he said to his ex is still in the back of my mind though and it's really upsetting me. I'm so shocked because he seems so happy with me and I thought he was totally over her. What do you guys think?
You both need to be honest with each other. You about the snooping, him abut the contact with ex. No GOOD relationship should be built on mistrust and lies.
I dont think those messages raise any suspicion about your bf. He would let you use his phone otherwise. It's typical things people say to ease the pain after breaking up.
Let it go, hes still healing from the end of it as well. You came into this knowing the break up was fresh. If you can't handle it, let him go or be the best girlfriend ever to where there's no way in hell he would ever want to go back to her.
Is it THAT difficult to find someone your own age, in your own town? Or do you spend so much time online gaming and sitting in front of a screen that you can't form a three-dimensional social life?
LDRs that start out in cyberspace really don't have enough glue holding them together to survive the jealousy issues like the one you are dealing with
Maybe it's a phone I'm not used to but if I want to text somebody, no list of old texts comes up unless I poke around to see what other texts had already been made...incoming or outgoing.
Sounds like another "first time poster" boring Sunday fun story to me.
You are 18 and should be enjoying you time with friends your age. Why would a 27 year old man want to be involved with an 18 year old lady? Get real with what you saw and move on to someone who deserves you. You deserve more than a 27 year old man on the rebound.
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