who pays when it's just friends (dating, woman, pickup, separate)

[k374]

Say a woman you met online tells you that she just wants to be friends "for now", still wants to hang out with you, but expects you to pickup the entire tab when you go out... is that a valid expectation? I guess I am asking what the expectation is of splitting the cost of dating these days when it's really "dating limbo" i.e. hanging in there to see if it becomes more than just friends?

My thinking was that when she mentions "just friends" it's automatically dutch whenever you hang out? Seems right?

This is also a scenario where you meet someone from OkCupid who lists what they are looking for as "a friend or dating"... so what are you initially? Just hanging out as friends? Or dating? How do you know? And who pays?

[Auraliea]

Dutch.

[swgirl926]

To me, an outing with friends is separate checks.

[timberline742]

I've never had a friendship where I paid all the time.

Of course, I've never had a dating relationships where I did either.

But I would sure as hope you were splitting stuff if you were just hanging out.

I don't get using OLD for finding platonic friends though. And how do you know? If you're sleeping together you're more than platonic friends.

[BirdieBelle]

Separate checks.

[timberline742]

Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life

Separate checks.

I now we've spoken how this may be regional, but with two people that's overkill. Just split the tab.

[BirdieBelle]

Originally Posted by timberline742

I now we've spoken how this may be regional, but with two people that's overkill. Just split the tab.

Yep, either way. Whatever works.

No way should one person pay all the time for just friends, though, and no way should someone "expect" that LOL.

[SelfRescuingPrincess]

we either split or if it's a good friend I know I'll see again, we go back and forth regarding who pays.

[The Dissenter]

Split, you have no incentive to impress her since she just wants friendship.

[RubyDee]

Split it