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With the declining marriage rates nowadays, I think the usage of the word "single" is changing. Instead of just meaning "never married", it now also means "not in a relationship". I know I use the word this way.
I don't. I am single, and have been since my divorce many years ago. I've had several relationships since then, and am currently in one. But I most definitely am single.
I know a guy that only got married because he was feeling lonely. Even though he has kids with his wife, I assume she is good to him, they go on holidays together and have fun, there is no denying that she is still a distraction for why he felt lonely, why he felt that void. It's still there....
Come to think of it, this is pretty much why I got together with my first girlfriend. I started college, and was ashamed of myself for not having had a relationships in high school. I was lonely too. So when she showed interest, I was so happy, that I didn't think about anything else. Like my own attraction to her (or lack thereof, specifically), things in common, compatibility, etc. All in all, it wasn't a bad relationship, and I even got my first kiss (finally!). But I didn't have much fun being with her: I had that wanderlust-esque desire to try new places (like restaurants and museums), and she didn't in the slightest.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom
I don't. I am single, and have been since my divorce many years ago. I've had several relationships since then, and am currently in one. But I most definitely am single.
Maybe it's a generational or regional difference, or both. At least I've been seeing this word used that way among people in their 20's and 30's around my area (Chicago). Like in a bar, after dancing with a friendly lady a few times: "Are you single?" / "No [or "Not really"], I have a boyfriend at home." I also said "no" in reference to my singlehood when I was in a serious relationship some years ago; people understood and no one corrected me.
Maybe it's a generational or regional difference, or both. At least I've been seeing this word used that way among people in their 20's and 30's around my area (Chicago). Like in a bar, after dancing with a friendly lady a few times: "Are you single?" / "No [or "Not really"], I have a boyfriend at home." I also said "no" in reference to my singlehood when I was in a serious relationship some years ago.
My answer would have been "Yes I am, but I am involved with someone."
If you look to that loved one to fill a void that is missing in your life to make you happy, then that's exactly what they are, a distraction (because no one else can do that but you). I didn't say that's all they were, you added that to your comment when you said 'merely'
I know a guy that only got married because he was feeling lonely. Even though he has kids with his wife, I assume she is good to him, they go on holidays together and have fun, there is no denying that she is still a distraction for why he felt lonely, why he felt that void. It's still there....
Everyone will feel lonely if they are alone thus have no loved one.
They will endure many negative feelings because their basic needs are not being met. It's human.
I don't. I am single, and have been since my divorce many years ago. I've had several relationships since then, and am currently in one. But I most definitely am single.
Doesn't make sense to me. The way I see it, if you're in an exclusive relationship with someone, or even dating someone else you're into, then you aren't single.
At least that's why I've understood it growing up. Maybe it's a generation thing like millennial said.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NancyDrew1
Do you want to be used like a rag doll?
only you can answer that for yourself
Yup, an answer like that is practically the same as saying she's in a relationship (to me at least).
Everyone will feel lonely if they are alone thus have no loved one.
They will endure many negative feelings because their basic needs are not being met. It's human.
There is a difference between being alone and being lonely. Too many see loneliness only from the physical perspective when it is about both.
It is possible to be completely alone (physically) and not feel lonely at all (solitude). Just as it is possible to be with a loved one and feel completely alone.
Hence if you feel lonely due to not having much of a relationship with yourself, filling that void physically will never really change that.
Doesn't make sense to me. The way I see it, if you're in an exclusive relationship with someone, or even dating someone else you're into, then you aren't single.
At least that's why I've understood it growing up. Maybe it's a generation thing like millennial said.
Yup, an answer like that is practically the same as saying she's in a relationship (to me at least).
Depends on which context.
Like when filing for taxes, the only available statuses include:
Single
Married (filing separately)
Married (filing jointly)
Head of household
Qualifying widow(er) with dependent child
They don't count bf/gf(s), and legally, you are single.
However, socially, if you have a bf/gf, then no you aren't seen as single by a lot of people. There are really so many terms some people use to describe their status like, casually dating, FWB, and "truly single (as in, not messing around with anyone)," I didn't know that was a thing until I read it here. Personally, I find it a little redundant but, meh, to each their own.
I personally am not in a hurry to start dating again because I am quite content with my life. Unless the woman really knocks my socks off I don't see myself trying to date for awhile. My dogs will keep me company
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