Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Do they rent? Because if they do, she can't just bail out on the lease.
You been dating him for only 4 months. That's nowhere near to being enough time for you to be in the position to have any say in his life whatsoever.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Novdec69
I am new to city data. Posted this wrong the first time.
I love this man, and believe he is my soulmate. But I am dealing with a confusing situation, I believe, any woman would not put up with.
He lives with his ex girlfriend. Says he can't just kick her out. He been sleeping on the couch since he and i started dating about 4 months ago. I have been trying to be patient with this situation because she is supposedly moving out soon. Just recently he has moved his 18 yr old daughter and 20 son into his duplex with him. And tells me there is no where for him to sleep but in bed with his ex girlfriend. I expressed to him how this made me feel. Angry, jealous, and betrayed. He said he wouldn't do it if there was any other option. I asked if he could share with his son until she moves out or sleep on an air mattress somewhere. None of those options worked for him. So tonight he is sleeping again in bed with her.
I feel as his girlfriend he has no concern for my feelings or emotions on this subject.
He wants me to be understanding and trust him that it's just a place to sleep. I do trust him but things happen, and I feel it's wrong and not fair of him to ask me to be okay with this. I told him I can't be in a relationship like this. And he'll have to get things in his life straightened out then we can continue in our relationship. I don't want to loose him but I'm afraid I have to let this go.
Advice please!? My heart is breaking 🙁
My wife and I are close friends with a couple currently going through a divorce. They have a 1 bedroom apartment and a 2 year old son that sleeps in a crib in their room. They mutually decided to file for divorce and have been going through the process now for almost 6 months.
Rent is very expensive here and neither could afford to move until the lease was up and the divorce terms have been finalized. They have also shared a bed the past 6 months even though the divorce was pending.
Not exactly an ideal situation nor exactly comparable to yours. All that I can conclude is that they made the best of their situation given the circumstance and their financials. They have put their son first the entire time. Which also sounds like what your partner is doing.
He may have broken up with his ex but likely still cares for her. I assume he's trying to do the right thing by helping her and his kids. I also assume his perspective is much different than yours and he's likely frustrated you can't see that is completing a selfless act. Now if they are still romantic and he's playing games that is entirely a different story.
Is this a joke? On what planet should someone in a committed relationship be ok with their partner sleeping with an ex every night? "Do the right thing"? yeah, he's trying to do something to her every night.
Do they rent? Because if they do, she can't just bail out on the lease.
You been dating him for only 4 months. That's nowhere near to being enough time for you to be in the position to have any say in his life whatsoever.
You are right, the OP doesn't have any say in his life, but she doesn't have to put up with his BS either. Most of what I've read so far is that folks are advising her to dump his sorry arse, not boss him around.
Look, even if he is sleeping with the ex and having sex, its only for 6 months until she can get her schitt together and then you two can move forward with this relationship. Cut the guy some slack. nag nag nag. sheesh.
Yes, that would be some guys' thought process. Unfortunately, your thought process is wrong. OP deserves to find she's worth more than that, and I don't see her concerns as nagging.
You know, OP, that is actually a good idea...why don't you tell him you'd like to visit him at his home...if there is really nothing going on and things are as he says they are, he should have no problem bringing you to his home one weekend...
This should be a great litmus test for the relationship....or, since you've told him that right now you guys are "on hold", just show up over there one weekend and see what happens. If you really want this man to be a part of your life, I don't think I would let anything further happen between you two until I did this. I really hope you will consider doing it. Good luck!
Coming out of a loveless marriage my head is clogged with emotions. I wanted to feel that love so badly. Reading all your responses and questions have been eye opening. Thank you!!!
I always think it is a warning sign when someone has a "want" they try to fill with someone. It blinds you to who they really are.
It is better to date not needing any hole in you filled. Then you can look at the person for who they are and who they can be for you.
__________________ ____________________________________________
My posts as a Mod will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS
And check this out: FAQ
Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs / Pets / Current Events
In your 4 responses you gave some fantastic advice for her that cut straight through the nonsense. I sincerely hope that she took to heart the advice that you gave her.
At 4 months, and 3 hours away, you are not in love. Infatuated, maybe, but not in love. Move on. This is a ridiculous situation. Hotels? They sleep together? You can't really believe this, can you?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
