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18 years married and four awesome children. Two days ago I felt as if I died and went to hell. It came to light that my wife has been having an affair. The man in question is an ex convict who she met at daughters junior high. He is a parent of another child there and is separated from his wife. I suspected an affair, and she admitted an emotional aspect of it. Then proceeded to blame me for being a **** husband and blaming me for her falling in love with someone else. Last night she went out and didn't come home until three am, she was with this guy I know.
I have been devastated and have felt like dying (I would never kill myself). I have said that if she won't give him up then I don't see how we can be together anymore, she is threatening me telling me she'll take everything I have since she's the one who has looked out for the best interests of the kids, telling me that I'm **** and she's hurt that I'm willing to throw her away like that/ she is saying she does not want a divorce. I work and she's a stay at home mom.
I have asked her to cut contact with him, yet she said he's just a good friend (which is a lie). I can't sleep, I can't eat. I don't want to be a weekend dad and get to miss out on my children's life. I'm broken and I don't know what to do, I've been completely blindsided. Our marriage has been good but rocky, biggest problems for us has been communication and lack of intimacy over the last year.
OP, this is horrible! I'm so sorry this is happening to you. Find a good counselor to help you process your feelings so they don't disable you. Also, consult with a lawyer to find out what kind of damage your wife can and can't do--in other words, find out what part of her threats (if any) she could actually make stick in court. My guess is: none of them, because she's the one who has abandoned you, so calm down. Don't panic. When people make unreasonable, outlandish threats, I believe in calling their bluff. But you need to talk to a GOOD lawyer, first.
You need emotional support; please get help. This is too much to cope with alone.
I don't want to run around the whole internet. She was saying since I work a lot there's no way she won't get primary custody and that she feels as if she's entitled to a lot. Yet is telling me to not be ridiculous and file for divorce.
Mod cut. there isn't much you can do but file and take your chances, because if you don't she eventually will, no matter what she says. So either way you will be going to court, I would go ahead and file and try to get in front of it.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 04-18-2017 at 03:23 PM..
Reason: Off-topic comment.
I don't want to run around the whole internet. She was saying since I work a lot there's no way she won't get primary custody and that she feels as if she's entitled to a lot. Yet is telling me to not be ridiculous and file for divorce.
Where did she study to get her law degree?
Would this be just a divorce or a custody battle as well?
I don't want to run around the whole internet. She was saying since I work a lot there's no way she won't get primary custody and that she feels as if she's entitled to a lot. Yet is telling me to not be ridiculous and file for divorce.
I'm sorry you're going through this, OP.
I wonder why she is SO bold and cavalier about it to you. She flaunting this to you. Why would she do that?
I don't want to run around the whole internet. She was saying since I work a lot there's no way she won't get primary custody and that she feels as if she's entitled to a lot. Yet is telling me to not be ridiculous and file for divorce.
OP, the best thing you can do is have a consultation with the best divorce attorney you can afford. They are in a better place to inform you of what to expect should you file for divorce.
My only advice would be to file before she does in the event anything else gets legally challenged in the future.
Do not wait.
You cannot change your wife, but you can protect against her change of heart and lifestyle interfering with your ability to be a father.
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She flaunting this to you. Why would she do that?
