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Dating this guy. He was telling me he really liked me, told me he was starting to care for me, how his mother would love me, and how he wasn't seeing anyone else. He seemed to be wanting to see me a lot, and talking about future plans with me. Said he was a relationship type of guy and liked monogamy and wanted that, said he never hookups and wouldn't, and even suggested we wait to get intimate until we are in a relationship. Said he didn't want to rush into it too fast, and it might take him some time emotionally to open up if I could be a bit patient with him, as he was still a little emotionally fragile from his last relationship. I respected that and we continued to see each other, and things seemed to just be progressing easily. We dated for over a month, total of 6 dates and a lot of talking on the phone in between.
Saw him three times, he wanted four, the week before he was moving into a new apartment. But now he has been distant ever since he moved to the new place. Keeps claiming he is so busy. Always answers my text messages nicely and says he is sorry, but makes no plans to see each other. I gave him some space to settle in and move, but after a week I started getting a bit concerned. Every time I ask about seeing him he says he wants to see me and go eat with me at this nice restaurant, but says maybe next week, or maybe this night, but never sets the plan. I haven't seen him in three weeks and have barely had any communication from him, besides the "I'm crazy busy." The most recent time he told me he has been crazy and has barely been answering any text messages from anyone. I was sick of hearing excuses so I just said "Its all good. Have a good weekend" Now I have not heard from him since. Its been almost a week.
I'm truly baffled by this. He seemed interested. I didn't ask for more or too much from him. I analyzed everything and don't see anything I did wrong. I don't know if he just isn't prioritizing dating into his busy life, or if he isn't interested in me, which just baffles me as he seemed really into me right before this move. Maybe he got scared of being in a relationship again, and he isn't ready. He was with his ex for 12 years, only girl he has ever been with, and they were engaged and living together, but things went south and they have been separated for 6 months now. He told me on our first date he was ready to move on and it was all in his past. I'm just so confused. We had chemistry. He was calling me and making plans and begging me to come over to see him before the move, and now nothing. Makes absolutely no sense to me. I mean we met online on a good dating site (not Tinder) and he was looking for a "smart, motivated, and funny girl." I'm so confused.
I'm sorry to say there isn't much to be confused about. If a man wants to see you, he will ask you to. So stop texting him. If he wants to see you, he will get a hold of you and let you know. Never chase a guy, or over analyze. Because actions usually tell you all we need to know.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,981,862 times
Reputation: 40635
Have you asked him out? If you want to see him, ask him out. Simple. You'll have your answer. If someone isn't asking me directly to get together after a few dates I lose interest. I'm not going to keep pursuing someone, it needs to be a two way street.
I'm sorry to say there isn't much to be confused about. If a man wants to see you, he will ask you to. So stop texting him. If he wants to see you, he will get a hold of you and let you know. Never chase a guy, or over analyze. Because actions usually tell you all we need to know.
Dating this guy. He was telling me he really liked me, told me he was starting to care for me, how his mother would love me, and how he wasn't seeing anyone else. He seemed to be wanting to see me a lot, and talking about future plans with me. Said he was a relationship type of guy and liked monogamy and wanted that, said he never hookups and wouldn't, and even suggested we wait to get intimate until we are in a relationship. Said he didn't want to rush into it too fast, and it might take him some time emotionally to open up if I could be a bit patient with him, as he was still a little emotionally fragile from his last relationship. I respected that and we continued to see each other, and things seemed to just be progressing easily. We dated for over a month, total of 6 dates and a lot of talking on the phone in between.
Boy, he's quite a talker, isn't he! Knows all the right things to say, even to a fault. Most men don't feel the need to announce that they like monogamy, OP. This shower of declarations raises a red flag in my mind. Especially the one about monogamy. He's so busy denying he's a player left, right, and center, that one can't help but be suspicious. "Wait to get intimate until we're in a relationship"?! The fact that it even occurred to him to say that should tell you what you need to know. He was really shoveling hard in your direction.
If a man wants to see you, he will let you know by making plans to spend time with you. If he doesn't want to see you he will let you know by simply avoiding spending time with you.
Seems to me, he doesn't want to see you. Oftentimes people (male or female) will be interested in someone, and then lose interest. It happens. Looks like it happened here.
Stop contacting him and pursue other channels. If he wants to resurface he knows where to find you, hopefully by then you'll be happily with someone who cares about you.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,981,862 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by DontH8Me
If a man wants to see you, he will let you know by making plans to spend time with you. If he doesn't want to see you he will let you know by simply avoiding spending time with you. .
Same can be said for women. Maybe I misread this, but I didn't see anything where she asked him out.
I see no need for confusion, he is busy with the recent move and settling in, he is also busy with other parts of his life and he has told you all of this.
When/if he wants to see you or contact you he will and at that point you will need to decide if you are available.
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