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Picky is good, but there needs to be balance. If you're super picky about height, weight, physique and race but less picky about compatibility (finances, education, values etc.), you'll either stay single or date an assortment of duds.
Most people are far too willing to compromise on compatibility in order to find someone that provides "spark" which is short-hand for someone that makes their pants tingle.
I'd rather be picky than be waste a woman's time if I'm not into her. I might be alone for awhile but so be it at least I will have peace of mind.
It was not a good example to set for us. I promised myself i'd never end up in something like that. so far, I haven't had relationships where we're constantly screaming at each other..until I met this last guy. It only lasted 2 months (ended it a month ago) cause I had enough of THAT! It was so draining. I can't believe my parents did that for 20 years!
My parents (mother) did the same. My Father was passive and shut down. So guess what I ended up doing? I shut down and my girlfriends/wife thought I was ignoring them. Instead, I was internalizing it and blaming myself thanks to how I was raised. I had to unlearn all that stuff, only now its too late for me since I'm done dating. Parents can be the best or the worst role models. Ours were the worst.
My parents (mother) did the same. My Father was passive and shut down. So guess what I ended up doing? I shut down and my girlfriends/wife thought I was ignoring them. Instead, I was internalizing it and blaming myself thanks to how I was raised. I had to unlearn all that stuff, only now its too late for me since I'm done dating. Parents can be the best or the worst role models. Ours were the worst.
What my father did to my mother...
I'd rather shut down and internalize than repeat my father's pattern.
Domestic violence almost to a deadly level. Broken bones and blood letting. Then your childhood home becomes a crackhouse before your eyes.
Last edited by TJenkins602; 07-06-2017 at 07:52 AM..
That seems to be the mindset Ive heard ad nauseam on here from single people that struggle at dating and or finding their perfect match.
You seem to get on her a lot about being single and not dating.
And besides, what would you rather hear.
"Women prefer these types of males." "Women only care about looks."
"I'm still single and I can't get a girlfriend because I'm ugly."
I personally haven't found my match, and observation as well as experience in the real world has shown me that my looks and other physical attributes have nothing to do with it. It is more of how I deal with what I got.
Do I like my looks. Hell no. I've put on lbs and piled them up. I wouldn't wish myself on anyone. Now, I know that there are women out there according to an article that prefer "dad bods". Well, I don't want to have a "Dad Bod". Back when I was growing up, a "dad bod" was actually more athletic.
While I don't like my looks, I know I got potential and I want to bring that potential out. I could bring out looks that I do like.
Yes! Bc you like you, and aren't bored with yourself, have interests and know you'll be ok, either way! I wish I would have believed that at your age. I spent too much time trying to feel ok by doing what 'everyone else' was doing.
But you wouldn't be the awesome person that you are now!!!
I'd rather be picky than be waste a woman's time if I'm not into her. I might be alone for awhile but so be it at least I will have peace of mind.
And that's good as long as your pickiness applies to all factors. Basically, IMO, if you're going to be picky...go all in and be picky about everything so that you find the best possible mate. I find it strange when ladies will be picky about a man's looks but ignore obvious character flaws....but then be picky about character flaws when the man is less attractive.
Lol you guys don't know if I'm pretty, But I definitely am very smart!
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Lol
