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Better shape, better groomed, better financed, more fashionable, but more miserable. This is progress?
RE: the bolded--oh, no you don't! You're the one who's been saying people here don't understand how hard you have it, because you're big and tall and Black and scary. You're not getting away with pretending you don't believe your race is an issue.
"Why does this counselor have to be black? R4T, why ever are you saying that? "
As if I took the idea out of thin air.
Don't play innocent with Ruthie!
See here's the thing. Like people give advice and they only see it through their lens and personal experience. Then I make note of the fact that I'm different and there's additional factors in my case, and because people don't experience them personally sometimes they act like they don't exist or aren't important. I don't need a specifc race to give me advice...and although it probably doesn't seem like it, I appreciate all the advice given. I'm just saying there's more variables for me in this case and I think some people downplay them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
So....you don't need us, after all? Your way gets results?
Again, if you look like Christiano Rinaldo maybe. I'm not outwardly arrogant. I dont brag about price tags or how much I lift unless asked about it.
So I don't get any of the pros of attracting women who like douchy alphas with all the cons of people suspecting I'm a conceited git by not initiating.
See here's the thing. Like people give advice and they only see it through their lens and personal experience. Then I make note of the fact that I'm different and there's additional factors in my case, and because people don't experience them personally sometimes they act like they don't exist or aren't important. I don't need a specifc race to give me advice...and although it probably doesn't seem like it, I appreciate all the advice given. I'm just saying there's more variables for me in this case and I think some people downplay them.
News flash: Black women don't think big, tall Black guys are scary.
You're putting us on, OP.
Anyway, I think we've covered things pretty thoroughly. You have some good advice. Though I'm still curious as to a) what happened in college to make you more jaded & aloof, and b) what were you like before that? What was your experience growing up? How did you get onto the path of cynicism & sarcasm?
Are you from the East Coast? Did you go to a fancy preppie school?
News flash: Black women don't think big, tall Black guys are scary.
You're putting us on, OP.
Anyway, I think we've covered things pretty thoroughly. You have some good advice. Though I'm still curious as to a) what happened in college to make you more jaded & aloof, and b) what were you like before that? What was your experience growing up? How did you get onto the path of cynicism & sarcasm?
Are you from the East Coast? Did you go to a fancy preppie school?
And I don't get any type of discount from women of my own race....they ignore me just as much. Hell, if not more. Most alternative black girls seem to just want white guys. I can't win for losing...
A. Idk. I got into more alternative things. Art, high fashion, heavy music, art films. And I guess it kinda pisssed me off that the women around me weren't into those things.
B. I was a lot more generic and basic until my taste started to refine.
Yes the east coast and not a prep school. A tech school.
Ummm shouldn't dressing really well be enough to create my buzz? What should I do? Light a flare? Thing is females always complain about creeps cold approaching them out of the blue, I try the inverse and it's just as frowned upon. I try hunor but my sense is dark or dry and they just get offended and take it personally usually.
And I have a sister but her advice is usually counter- intuitive.
Oh, wait, I missed this entire post, earlier. No, dressing well isn't enough to create a buzz, usually. It can be, but if you put up an energetic wall, then it's pointless. Would it kill you to show some human warmth? That's what people respond to.
Dark humor? Hmmm........ So, you came from a dark place? But you say you're kind, at heart? You just have a tough exterior? How is anyone supposed to know you're kind, deeper down, when you have a cold exterior, prone to dark humor?
Oh, and about cold approaching, and how to meet women. You're right, cold approaching isn't the best, especially for introverted guys. Even more so for intimidating-looking ones who come across like cold fish. So, what's usually recommended in such a case is to join some kind of hobby/activity groups, volunteer for organizations you may be interested in, check out your local Parks Dept. for activities, a drama group, martial arts class (they're co-ed), cooking classes (there are all kinds) etc. Find a couple of things you can do to place yourself in women's company on a regular basis, something with a regular schedule, so you can get to know people over time, and they can get to know you. After a few meetings, classes, whatever it is, they'll notice there's a real person under that stand-offish exterior, you'll have conversations, will collaborate on a project or activity of some sort, and you may make a friend or two.
That's how it's done for shy or introverted types.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 09-04-2017 at 09:12 PM..
This is why people in 2017 still can't talk about race...
OBVIOUSLY not all white women go for thugs. They mostly go for white dudes. From my personal experience many of the ones who integrate go for the stereotypes. Like if you're going to go for a alternative black dude....why not just stick to why guys, I assume is much of the thinking.
Oh, wait, I missed this entire post, earlier. No, dressing well isn't enough to create a buzz, usually. It can be, but if you put up an energetic wall, then it's pointless. Would it kill you to show some human warmth? That's what people respond to.
Dark humor? Hmmm........ So, you came from a dark place? But you say you're kind, at heart? You just have a tough exterior? How is anyone supposed to know you're kind, deeper down, when you have a cold exterior, prone to dark humor?
Human warmth....not even sure what to say to that.
I don't think you have to come from a dark place to appreciate or prefer dark humor. Like no one is ever one thing. Liking horror films doesn't make you a sadist.
The biggest ******* in the world still has something else. Everyone has layers. I've always liked dark stuff. But I'm a very polite, reserved, mature person imo. Hell to a fault it seems at time. But thats what happens when few people take the time to actually get know you before they judge.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
Oh, and about cold approaching, and how to meet women. You're right, cold approaching isn't the best, especially for introverted guys. Even more so for intimidating-looking ones who come across like cold fish. So, what's usually recommended in such a case is to join some kind of hobby/activity groups, volunteer for organizations you may be interested in, check out your local Parks Dept. for activities, a drama group, martial arts class (they're co-ed), cooking classes (there are all kinds) etc. Find a couple of things you can do to place yourself in women's company on a regular basis, something with a regular schedule, so you can get to know people over time, and they can get to know you. After a few meetings, classes, whatever it is, they'll notice there's a real person under that stand-offish exterior, you'll have conversations, will collaborate on a project or activity of some sort, and you may make a friend or two.
That's how it's done for shy or introverted types.
Yep....now I know I'm just meant to be alone. Lawl.
And I don't get any type of discount from women of my own race....they ignore me just as much. Hell, if not more. Most alternative black girls seem to just want white guys. I can't win for losing...
A. Idk. I got into more alternative things. Art, high fashion, heavy music, art films. And I guess it kinda pisssed me off that the women around me weren't into those things.
B. I was a lot more generic and basic until my taste started to refine.
Yes the east coast and not a prep school. A tech school.
The bolded is cool. You went to the wrong school to find people interested in that sort of thing, it sounds like.
So, volunteer to help with film festivals. Check out amateur art organizations in your city. They can be quite interesting, and multi-cultural. Attend events at the local fashion institute, and talk with people. Do you have a good job? Maybe consider getting on the board of one of those organizations. Get involved in your community. Mix. Mingle. Contribute.
The bolded is cool. You went to the wrong school to find people interested in that sort of thing, it sounds like.
So, volunteer to help with film festivals. Check out amateur art organizations in your city. They can be quite interesting, and multi-cultural. Attend events at the local fashion institute, and talk with people. Do you have a good job? Maybe consider getting on the board of one of those organizations. Get involved in your community. Mix. Mingle. Contribute.
See those would be fantastic ideas....for.an.extrovert.....
Lolyes. That's pretty much what I do. As I suspected most people would do...as it's the polite thing to do. I guess i could just get drunk of my ass and grope every female in my proximity....would likely get a better overall experience...
Because it wasn't about changing things of mine. In a club or bar or whatever initially none of that matters. You have to get to know and speak to someone to realize you don't like them or whatever....I was just curiosity as why all these dudes who offer less than I do physically do so exponentially better.
Well based on outer appearances if it isn't looks then it must be the vibe you're giving out as many here have already pointed out...
I asked that specifically because I was curious how you were portraying body language. Crossing arms is considered a closed off sign and signals to other people to not approach you. And maybe stop standing around waiting for someone to approach you cause we'll be able to smell the desperation and won't bother even looking your way.
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R4T, why ever are you saying that? " 
