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I disagree the economics model of supply and demand is pretty good from my experience. I was once in a class of about 20 women and 3 guys. I was fighting women off of me. Go to a class with 20 men and 2 women and watch the few ugly girls get faught over.
This is laughable. Guys don't fight over the plain Janes. They barely notice them. Their radar filters them out.
If people only came here to read about dating, they'd walk away depressed.
Most humans I know outside of the CD-R forum are dating, married, generally happy.
Sure, some folks cannot find a date to save them, but they're usually people who are miserable to be around and/or have highly unrealistic expectations.
Men who think that having a high-paying job and showering daily, then putting on clothes that match means that supermodels should chase them down the street... women who think that having a degree and keeping their basic grooming up means they're owed Chris Hemsworth's doppelganger when that woman looks a bit more like a Plain Jane than a leading lady...etc.
It's really ridiculous. People don't need to view "settling" as a bad thing. They need to first decide what they bring to the table.
If you always attract X type of partners, either you change some thing or things about yourself to help attract more variety or you choose from the ones that you attract and go on with your life.
Or, stay single. But, don't act like your problem is everyone else's problem.
It's not.
It's yours.
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Yep and many of them think that having a fancy degree and a good job make them even more of a catch where as the truth is most men don't care about a woman's education, salary, just her attractiveness and personality.
I know first hand a woman age 25 talked out of dating a auto shop business owner becsuse he didn't have a college degree while she did. Mind you she was working as a waitress at the time, but all her friends convinced her that she needed someone with at least the same "education" as her.
Then there are the women PhD's, and other high earners, who marry handymen and construction workers with no higher ed. I've run across a surprising number of those. I know a woman with an MA in engineering, who married a guy from Latin America with only a 5th grade education. They were both involved in alternative energy development, and were politically radical, so it was a real meeting of the minds and hearts in that respect.
The heart wants what it wants. Thankfully, most women don't have superficial friends who are overly concerned with status.
If people only came here to read about dating, they'd walk away depressed.
Most humans I know outside of the CD-R forum are dating, married, generally happy.
Sure, some folks cannot find a date to save them, but they're usually people who are miserable to be around and/or have highly unrealistic expectations.
Men who think that having a high-paying job and showering daily, then putting on clothes that match means that supermodels should chase them down the street... women who think that having a degree and keeping their basic grooming up means they're owed Chris Hemsworth's doppelganger when that woman looks a bit more like a Plain Jane than a leading lady...etc.
It's really ridiculous. People don't need to view "settling" as a bad thing. They need to first decide what they bring to the table.
If you always attract X type of partners, either you change some thing or things about yourself to help attract more variety or you choose from the ones that you attract and go on with your life.
Or, stay single. But, don't act like your problem is everyone else's problem.
It's not.
It's yours.
Excellent points! I hope you don't mind that I borrowed it for my own thread.
most people don't want to be social workers who have to "save" someone to be in a relationship, they want a partnership
what's the point of dating someone who is so down on themselves that they feel like they need to be saved from their own lives?
not like in movies where it is a "if only" situation, if only someone came into my "boring" life, it would be exciting... there are so many exciting people to pick from, why would anyone go out "looking" for a boring person? this goes for any other attitude, why look for people with poor social skills, poor anything that needs someone to "fix" in them
2. If you were to be walking down the street would you have trouble talking to an attractive woman you saw?
3. If you were to head to say the bar and there are 15 guys and 5 women would you have any trouble meeting said women?
4. Do you have anything to offer a woman personality-wise or based your interests something they'd find attractive?
5. How introverted/extroverted are you?
6. Do you often find yourself being put in the "just friends" box?
7. And how's your social life? Do you have trouble making friends?
1. Not necessarily a specific type; just a woman that respects herself and her family, is not to heavy into drugs, drinking or partying too much, and is atleast somewhat intellectual to be able to exchange ideas and theories etc. Spanish is my first language too so it would be nice for her to speak it but it's not necessary for me.
2.I would think possibly yes, mostly because I tend to overthink things and probably wouldn't know what to approach her with quick enough. It's not easy for me but I have done it a couple of times.
3. Probably would have trouble especially if all the other guys are all attempting to talk to the women at the same time. I would probably just relax by myself and think that it's not worth it at that particular moment.
4. I consider myself adventurous and I'll try pretty much anything atleast once. I fascinated by learning new things; I also like to think I'm pretty resilient in life.
5. I'm definitely more introverted but I don't think I am too extreme.
6. No if I make a move on a woman I'm romantically interested in and she doesn't reciprocate I usually just walk away.
7. At the moment and in this city yes, I haven't had too much success in making a huge group of friends; this is something I'm trying to improve.
1. Not necessarily a specific type; just a woman that respects herself and her family, is not to heavy into drugs, drinking or partying too much, and is atleast somewhat intellectual to be able to exchange ideas and theories etc. Spanish is my first language too so it would be nice for her to speak it but it's not necessary for me.
2.I would think possibly yes, mostly because I tend to overthink things and probably wouldn't know what to approach her with quick enough. It's not easy for me but I have done it a couple of times.
3. Probably would have trouble especially if all the other guys are all attempting to talk to the women at the same time. I would probably just relax by myself and think that it's not worth it at that particular moment.
4. I consider myself adventurous and I'll try pretty much anything atleast once. I fascinated by learning new things; I also like to think I'm pretty resilient in life.
5. I'm definitely more introverted but I don't think I am too extreme.
6. No if I make a move on a woman I'm romantically interested in and she doesn't reciprocate I usually just walk away.
7. At the moment and in this city yes, I haven't had too much success in making a huge group of friends; this is something I'm trying to improve.
Thank you for your help.
If you cast even a slightly wider net than a lot of guys do, and look outside the top 20-30% of women in attractiveness, and maybe go instead for, say, women who are well-travelled or know some Spanish, or share a hobby with you, you won't be talking to women who are surrounded by other guys. You can find women even in the cities that are male-dominated, demographically. It's not as hard as you think.
Why don't you tell us what strategies you've tried so far to meet women. We get a lot of guys who complain about there not being enough women in their area, but they've never seriously tried to get out and circulate and meet women. No one's going to hand you dates on a silver platter. You have to get out there, and get involved in activities that bring you into contact with women. Being in a female-majority city isn't going to help you, if you don't make an effort to meet women.
If you cast even a slightly wider net than a lot of guys do, and look outside the top 20-30% of women in attractiveness
By attractiveness, are you referring to physical appearance, to a womans looks?
Women who are in the average range for looks (that is, most people) can have their own appeal. I wouldn't limit my options by looking only at beauty queens.
By attractiveness, are you referring to physical appearance, to a womans looks?
Women who are in the average range for looks (that is, most people) can have their own appeal. I wouldn't limit my options by looking only at beauty queens.
Right. But many of the guys who have posted here in the past insist that "hot" is a crucial quality. As soon as you mention looking outside of that top tier, they protest. That's why I mentioned it. It's been a common issue on the forum.
And that's usually what it's all about, when all the guys are talking to the same one or two women at a gathering. They don't all choose to talk to the same women, strangers they've never met, because of the women's intelligence or personality.
Right. But many of the guys who have posted here in the past insist that "hot" is a crucial quality. As soon as you mention looking outside of that top tier, they protest. That's why I mentioned it. It's been a common issue on the forum.
They can't be helped if they are going to insist on such a narrow focus.
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