Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
But here’s also another thing to wonder about too...
If a person knows that you’re waiting for them would they take advantage? Would they feel like they can do whatever they want because they know you’ll be waiting for them? Would it be a good idea to let them know that you’ll be dating other people until he figures everything out? (Not saying I’m actually waiting just asking)
Ok, OP, for what it is worth. Why are you letting him call all the shots? It’s as though you have no free will. What do YOU Want?
Tell him your issues with the relationship, and what you want, that you aren’t getting. See what he says.
For example, “I’m coming over next Saturday for a cook out, and I’ll bring the potato salad and lemonade, and you get the hotdogs. This would be a great time for me to meet your mother and grandmother.” It seems to me that if he lives in a trailer and his mother is a hoarder, he could just say that, and then you’d understand.
As your relationship stands now, there’s nothing in it for you. You can wait around if you want, but I wouldn’t.
Easy solution from my view. If you like his company and it fits your current needs then keep seeing him.
Second, keep an open mind but also keep your guard up. If it turns out to be bullish, then break it off and let him know he had his chance and blew it.
Easy solution from my view. If you like his company and it fits your current needs then keep seeing him.
Second, keep an open mind but also keep your guard up. If it turns out to be bullish, then break it off and let him know he had his chance and blew it.
Agreed. What are you looking for? If you're unhappy and need to take turns spending the weekend at each others' place, then find someone you can do that with. If you enjoy his company and like to have your own space and time, then this works.
Don't look at this as an investment, if things don't work out in the end, or you feel like he owes you something for being patient, you might end up being disappointed.
I think some of you guys may have misunderstood the friend situation and sorry if I haven’t explained it throughly.
The friend never stalked me. He asked his friend questions about me like was I single and the kind of girl that I am etc. He did this because he never got the chance to get to know me because we barely spoke. The friend is actually someone I trust way before I started dating my guy. He always talked to me about work and personal issues. Now that he knows that we’re dating he remain neutral and assures me his friend is not in another relationship but tells me it’s up to me if I want to wait around.
I do know that his work is stressful because the times I visited at his job in his new building his boss and secretary kept pulling him out his office for meetings and things that came up. One time we left his job 2 hrs later because of it.
Yes I know where he lives but I don’t think it’s a good idea to just pop up unannounced. Yes this issue is bothering me but sometimes I try to understand because I remember when I first moved into my apartment 9 years ago I refused to invite anyone over because I had nothing except for my clothes, computer and air bed. This lasted for 9 months. I always went over to my date’s house. I was embarrassed to bring anyone over. Maybe it’s the same for him? I’m definitely not making excuses for him just telling my experience. Idk if it’s the same for men.
Ether way based on everyone’s answers not going to his house still after all this time is a red flag and I guess I should give him an ultimatum. If he doesn’t allow me to visit him soon and not include me in everything that goes on in his life then I’m moving on.
No, you should walk away and I can honestly say if you would give me and many others and ultimatum,
you would be escorted out of my life and all access blocked permanently.
Find someone else to play your games with.
No, you should walk away and I can honestly say if you would give me and many others and ultimatum,
you would be escorted out of my life and all access blocked permanently.
Find someone else to play your games with.
This.
Unless he is playing a game which is what it sounds like.
The only reason I asked this question because this situation is a little different.
If a guy asked me to be patient with him because:
- He says doesn’t want a relationship right now
- He says he’s not over his ex
- He says he doesn’t know what he wants
Then of course I should let the guy go. But something like a parent dying is a little hard especially since I don’t know what it’s like to be in that person’s shoes. I at least didn’t want to be know as a person who would dump someone because they are going thru a rough time. The only thing that bothers me is the fact that I’ve never been to his house or met his family, if I did I would feel different.
I will try to talk to him one more time. If nothing changes then I’ll just let him be.
The only reason I asked this question because this situation is a little different.
If a guy asked me to be patient with him because:
- He says doesn’t want a relationship right now
- He says he’s not over his ex
- He says he doesn’t know what he wants
Then of course I should let the guy go. But something like a parent dying is a little hard especially since I don’t know what it’s like to be in that person’s shoes. I at least didn’t want to be know as a person who would dump someone because they are going thru a rough time. The only thing that bothers me is the fact that I’ve never been to his house or met his family, if I did I would feel different.
I will try to talk to him one more time. If nothing changes then I’ll just let him be.
As some of us have said, that his mother is dying isn't a red flag.
I doubt there is a dying mother. His wife probably thinks they are happily married.
I don't understand how people can be so patient. I would have rung the door bell one evening and just see who opens.
This is crazy how you can date someone for months and not do this to find out what the big story about his place is.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
