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The second idea isn't bad at all, gotta admit i didn't approach her like that at all. I mean I really hope it blows over because I really love her and don't want this to cause strain on our marriage. That's exactly what I'm trying to avoid. But I really am not comfortable with her using her maiden name while being married to me. It's just not right, ya know?
Well, it didn't used to be what people did, that's true, but times change. Focus on how much you love her, for a moment. Feel that love. Then, think about the "it's just not right" thought. Which is more important to you? Which one makes you feel good inside, and which one makes you feel tight and angry? Would you rather stand for what you feel is right, but risk losing her? (Even if there's no divorce, you could loser her emotionally. Could you go through the rest of your life with her being cold to you?) Or would you rather both of you be happy together, if it means her asserting her individuality in this symbolic way?
Do you know what the people say, who die on the operating table, but then are revived, after their glimpse of heavenly bliss, some of them even experiencing a Divine Light? The message from the Great Beyond is always, "Don't sweat the small stuff." And "It's ALL small stuff!"
I have no idea, I mean nothing changed in terms of the way we handle each other. We have two sons and a daughter and when our daughter left for college things shifted a bit and life felt more distant in general, but then after about a year everything shifted back to normal. But now suddenly, and I mean suddenly, she's been acting so strange and she's always working and now she wants to go back to her past name and it's all piling up towards a direction that ain't lookin' very good for me at all. I don't know what I'll do if she files for divorce I honestly don't.
I have no idea, I mean nothing changed in terms of the way we handle each other. We have two sons and a daughter and when our daughter left for college things shifted a bit and life felt more distant in general, but then after about a year everything shifted back to normal. But now suddenly, and I mean suddenly, she's been acting so strange and she's always working and now she wants to go back to her past name and it's all piling up towards a direction that ain't lookin' very good for me at all. I don't know what I'll do if she files for divorce I honestly don't.
If you want to stay married, you need to figure it out. FAST.
If you've just been on autopilot, then it's time to engage. Well, it's past time, but you can fix it if you both want to.
But now suddenly, and I mean suddenly, she's been acting so strange and she's always working and now she wants to go back to her past name and it's all piling up towards a direction that ain't lookin' very good for me at all. I don't know what I'll do if she files for divorce I honestly don't.
Those are NOT good signs, especially the "she's always working". That is a huge RED FLAG. I don't know NY divorce law, but in my state she'd be owing you a nice sum in spousal support if she earns twice what you do. Talk to an ATTORNEY. You probably have more leverage than you think.
Those are NOT good signs, especially the "she's always working". That is a huge RED FLAG. I don't know NY divorce law, but in my state she'd be owing you a nice sum in spousal support if she earns twice what you do. Talk to an ATTORNEY. You probably have more leverage than you think.
Yeah, p/a she earns around $450K and I earn more than 57% less than that. But the thing is, talking to an attorney would make this feel too real and I don't want to accept the fact this may be a step towards the tip of the iceberg. I don't want to get divorced, I really don't.
Yeah, p/a she earns around $450K and I earn more than 57% less than that. But the thing is, talking to an attorney would make this feel too real and I don't want to accept the fact this may be a step towards the tip of the iceberg. I don't want to get divorced, I really don't.
Right now she's over at her best friend's place helping her decorate for Christmas. Then she said they're going out for some lunch. I asked if I could come too but she said it's just gonna be the two of them which = a no so
Right now she's over at her best friend's place helping her decorate for Christmas. Then she said they're going out for some lunch. I asked if I could come too but she said it's just gonna be the two of them which = a no so
So at what point do you say, "I want to do something with you today"?
So at what point do you say, "I want to do something with you today"?
When will she be home?
Yeah that's the other thing, whenever I ask her something like "when are you getting home' (like a normal human being) she gets defensive and accuses me of "trying to control her" (?!?) I have been asking her this for 23 years and she's been asking me just as much and suddenly I'm "controlling"?
For Pete's sake the more I recount everything the more I realize how my wife's mindset has gone completely out of whack.
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Good luck, OP.
