Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
If you're not in a positive and healthy mindset, you don't attract that to you. People who seek partners out of loneliness are inviting problems into their lives, IMO.
If you're not in a positive and healthy mindset, you don't attract that to you. People who seek partners out of loneliness are inviting problems into their lives, IMO.
You can't cure loneliness by making friends or getting into a relationship either since there are many cases of people feeling lonely in relationships as well. So that definition doesn't really apply much here.
Interestingly enough, I don't deal with feelings of loneliness that much anymore. The only time I felt lonely is when people told me that I should simply because I'm single. Glad those days are over.
It sounds like you’re defending loneliness because you are alone. I actually get where you’re coming from as I was single for a loooong time. Being alone has its perks, but I was kidding myself acting like I was cool with it and it was what I wanted. If you’re younger, you have time and it’s ok for a while. You have to watch out though. The more comfortable you become in your loneliness will make you lazy to get out there and find a companion. Next thing you know, your older and it will be that much harder to find someone. When I was lonely, I got to a point where I used it as fuel to get up off the couch and do something about it!
The only time I feel lonely is when I miss family members who have long since gone to meet their maker. No friend or romantic partner can replace them, and I wouldn't expect anyone to.
I derive a lot of satisfaction and pleasure from being my on my own and I couldn't be happy any other way. It's far more important to be myself than anybody's anything.
That’s a different type of loneliness though. Someone may not have a significant other, but they at least date and have friends of the opposite sex. Chillin by yourself for the short term is ok. Long term, you’re fooling yourself.
I do agree with this.. But how do you know determine self sufficiency and whether someone else is adding r taking away from your life ?
Only you can make that call yourself. Everyone has a different threshold.
For me it's when someone is emotionally, mentally, and physically draining. (I.E. stressing me out, not trying to help themselves, insecure, controlling etc.) Just to name a few. Adding to my life is someone who is the exact opposite of those things I mentioned.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bgNCATL
It sounds like you’re defending loneliness because you are alone. I actually get where you’re coming from as I was single for a loooong time. Being alone has its perks, but I was kidding myself acting like I was cool with it and it was what I wanted. If you’re younger, you have time and it’s ok for a while. You have to watch out though. The more comfortable you become in your loneliness will make you lazy to get out there and find a companion. Next thing you know, your older and it will be that much harder to find someone. When I was lonely, I got to a point where I used it as fuel to get up off the couch and do something about it!
It sounds like you're projecting.
You and I are two different people. I don't experience any of the things you mentioned. I never defended loneliness. I simply said it's not another person's job to cure feelings of loneliness. If you feel like you need a partner, cool. Kudos to you. However, I do not feel the same.
That’s a different type of loneliness though. Someone may not have a significant other, but they at least date and have friends of the opposite sex. Chillin by yourself for the short term is ok. Long term, you’re fooling yourself.
Yeah, because you can speak for everybody...
Other people simply prefer being alone, and there's nothing wrong with that.
Maybe so, but I feel sorrier for people who are alone, than people in bad relationships.
The loneliest time in my life was when I was in a volatile relationship.
I'm extremely comfortable being by myself. I've been happily married forever now, but in my single days I was fine and dandy living alone. I wasn't looking for a relationship, per se, when I met my now husband. I was just living my life.
We are primates not jungle cats we are hard wired to share our existence.
Hey, what's wrong with not being co-dependent? There are many ways to "share existence". Go where it's crowded. Be a slave (wherever possible). If having someone around means that much to you, that's you. No need to shame the more solitary "jungle cats".
Also, be careful that you don't smother anyone or scare them off with clinginess. Desperation is not attractive and desperate people do often wind up alone, or lonely.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
