How would you handle this response if you asked your SO "Do you miss me" while she's been out of town for 1 week? (dating, women)
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Location: Moose Jaw, in between the Moose's butt and nose.
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Well almost 1 week.
We've dated for about 19 months. I can say we are (or I thought) we were mutually in love and I think there's enough there to make this a lifetime or several years anyway, commitment. Save one thing that's superficial, I have felt ok about it.
Until tonight, but that's why I'm asking if I'm overreacting to this.
I've talked to her, usually twice a day since she's been gone and when I was on my own trip, sent her some text messages to share photos, etc. Usually it was to say good AM and good night.
On the last time I talked with her, I asked, after 5 days away, "Do you miss me?"
She said, "I can't really miss you when you're contacting me frequently".
If you care about someone, isn't that what you're supposed to do? I don't even think twice a day (based on what I saw my parents do) is that frequent anyway. There's no Face Time on any of these calls.
I actually feel insulted with that response. Not exactly one you'd expect from someone who is "in love with you".
She's given me no reason to think she's cheating on me and even if she was, I think people in those situations call way more often showing their insecurity than twice a day.
Seems to me this shouldn't be an issue after 18 months of dating.
As far as "she needed her space", well, she never told me that before she left and usually our talks were about 10 minutes average. Still plenty of time for her to enjoy her vacation.
I think it's reasonable to expect a "Yes I miss you, at least physically" after 19 months of dating.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 02-26-2018 at 07:47 AM..
Reason: Corrected typo in thread title at user's request.
I've talked to her, usually twice a day since she's been gone and when I was on my own trip, sent her some text messages to share photos, etc. Usually it was to say good AM and good night.
On the last time I talked with her, I asked, after 5 days away, "Do you miss me?"
She said, "I can't really miss you when you're contacting me frequently".
If you care about someone, isn't that what you're supposed to do? I don't even think twice a day (based on what I saw my parents do) is that frequent anyway. There's no Face Time on any of these calls.
I actually feel insulted with that response. Not exactly one you'd expect from someone who is "in love with you". <snip>
Your parents relationship shaped your belief about how couples act/ demonstrate their love. Perfectly understandable. But...
Dangerous too. She has her own history that shaped how she feels and acts. When you put your point of view on her words/actions, then judge her (your statement... "Not exactly one you'd expect from someone who is "in love with you".) for it, it's not fair. And could cause conflicts or arguments trying to hold on the way it's suppose to be. Without really realizing how both view it different.
And really, she didn't miss you. She "caught" you each time she took your call. She didn't dodge the calls. Her answer reflects that.
Last edited by Wild Flower; 02-26-2018 at 03:06 AM..
Really? After dating for 19 months calling to wish someone a good morning and good night is clingy and needy? At what point are you allowed to act like you even remotely give a crap about someone? Is there any clear commitment between the two? Anyone come out and ask for exclusivity?
I would be more concerned about her taking a vacation because "I need my space". Does she need her space because the OP is needy and clingy, or for some other reason?
Stop calling her OP, if you dare. If she misses you, she will contact you. Why didn't you call her, she may ask? Because she needs her space, naturally.
Last edited by ComeCloser; 02-26-2018 at 04:05 AM..
Vacation by herself? Bruh. Search for 'Tom Leykis Women on Vacation (men you don't want to hear this)' on Youtube. There is some gold in the comment section too.
My husband and I typically text once or twice when one of us is away with maybe a phone call every few days, depending on what’s going on.
Her comment sounds a bit brusque. Contact her much less or not at all for the rest of her trip and see if she brings up the subject when she returns. Or you can express your feelings later.
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