Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Current SO met some family for the first time over the weekend. One family member later asked me how serious it is with him.
Would you ask this question about a relationship you approved of? I got the sense that it was mildly disapproving but the family member who asked wasn't willing to raise any objections directly.
In my case, I am in my 50s and will do whatever I want. This particular family member is one I love and care about but her opinion about my private life doesn't really matter. Just idle curiosity whether the "is it serious?" question is usually asked about someone that seems like a good match to the person asking the question.
I asked my daughter this question about a year or so into her relationship with her now husband. It was simply out of parental curiosity. It wasn't a judgment about the man one way or the other.
Is your family member normally one to judge? And since you do your own thing, why would you care?
Current SO met some family for the first time over the weekend. One family member later asked me how serious it is with him.
Would you ask this question about a relationship you approved of? I got the sense that it was mildly disapproving but the family member who asked wasn't willing to raise any objections directly.
In my case, I am in my 50s and will do whatever I want. This particular family member is one I love and care about but her opinion about my private life doesn't really matter. Just idle curiosity whether the "is it serious?" question is usually asked about someone that seems like a good match to the person asking the question.
There were some pretty obvious indications that it's fairly serious. Aside from the fact he was meeting family in the first place.
I am inclined to think this particular family member just isn't capable or willing to understand the dynamics that led to me escaping my emotionally abusive marriage. And that's okay. It can be hard to imagine someone you liked as an abuser. Heard a bit of clucking over the fact I have nothing at all to do with my ex anymore, but not even going to try to convince this person anymore that it is essential to my mental health.
I'm sure there were comparisons made between the fake slick charm of the ex and the unfiltered WYSIWYG of my SO now. I appreciate honesty and openness more than ever now, but it's not the case with everyone. I know what hid behind the ex's public face, but no one else really understands what went on behind closed doors, despite my attempts to explain. So be it. I am in a good place now.
There were some pretty obvious indications that it's fairly serious. Aside from the fact he was meeting family in the first place.
I am inclined to think this particular family member just isn't capable or willing to understand the dynamics that led to me escaping my emotionally abusive marriage. And that's okay. It can be hard to imagine someone you liked as an abuser. Heard a bit of clucking over the fact I have nothing at all to do with my ex anymore, but not even going to try to convince this person anymore that it is essential to my mental health.
I'm sure there were comparisons made between the fake slick charm of the ex and the unfiltered WYSIWYG of my SO now. I appreciate honesty and openness more than ever now, but it's not the case with everyone. I know what hid behind the ex's public face, but no one else really understands what went on behind closed doors, despite my attempts to explain. So be it. I am in a good place now.
But then isn't it this family member you should be telling all this too?
You say she won't come right out with what she's thinking, but neither will you.
If you're disturbed by what you think she thinks you need to tell her that.
But then isn't it this family member you should be telling all this too?
You say she won't come right out with what she's thinking, but neither will you.
If you're disturbed by what you think she thinks you need to tell her that.
Nope, I can let a lost cause go. If she didn't get it when I tried to explain about the ex before, she's not going to now.
We might see each other once a year or so. Her opinion of my SO isn't really a big deal. I did tell her we are taking things slowly, but it's going well overall. That's all she really needs to know.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
