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I hear you I just find it weird that some women expect men to be emotionless robots never effected or moved by anything.
Wow, that was quite a leap. You started by asking about men who don't show emotion, then you went all the way to men who don't even FEEL emotion. Do you understand the difference? Do you think that these "some women" (whoever they are) understand the difference? The fact that you are conflating the two is a bit...disturbing.
I can't imagine there are many women who want a psychopath as a partner, but you seem to believe otherwise.
Wow, that was quite a leap. You started by asking about men who don't show emotion, then you went all the way to men who don't even FEEL emotion. Do you understand the difference? Do you think that these "some women" (whoever they are) understand the difference? The fact that you are conflating the two is a bit...disturbing.
I can't imagine there are many women who want a psychopath as a partner, but you seem to believe otherwise.
Calm down I was using some hyperbole..but their are women who think crying over something or being very effectionate are a sign of weakness..
Calm down I was using some hyperbole..but their are women who think crying over something or being very effectionate are a sign of weakness..
Well, if you are prone to crying, don't date women like that.
I like generally well rounded individuals, and that also applies to having and being able to control (when appropriate) emotions.
I don't want some guy that overly angry or bitter and those types of emotions. I want one that can show love and caring.
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Calm down I was using some hyperbole..but their are women who think crying over something or being very effectionate are a sign of weakness..
Unfortunately, I believe that you actually think in hyperbole. When you're not thinking in binary.
Ok, listen up. There is so much variability across the spectrum of how and when each individual man shows emotion and what each individual woman finds appropriate that there is simply no answer to this question.
Overly emotional and passionate I prefer,the brooding musician,the wild poet etc I don't ever want the cold clinical type that might be an academic or accountant or something.
Been scouring forums and noticed some women say they prefer stoic men who show little emotion..they say Men who show some emotion and may have moments of weakness and cry or show too much effection to them is a sign of weakness and feminine and it turns them off.
How many of you truly get turned off when men show emotion and prefer stoic men?
Who cares what "some" women think? All you have to do is find the other women.
Also, OP, it depends on what emotion you're talking about. Many men express emotion freely, but it's limited to anger. Most women aren't comfortable with that. I don't know why so many men don't categorize anger as an emotion, believing, instead, that only women show emotion.
Who cares what "some" women think? All you have to do is find the other women.
Also, OP, it depends on what emotion you're talking about. Many men express emotion freely, but it's limited to anger. Most women aren't comfortable with that. I don't know why so many men don't categorize anger as an emotion, believing, instead, that only women show emotion.
I hear you, but how about in moments of grief or when men are upset or hurt by something/someone?
There is a silent expectation that we're supposed to internalize our emotions for the most part.
Personally, I think it's a matter of situationality.
If ANYONE displays emotion around those who have no investment in them, they seem out of control, dramatic, and it makes others uncomfortable, particularly in settings where it seems inappropriate.
This would go for a man who cannot control his anger in public, or a woman at work (I knew one, she drive me nuts) who seems to regularly have meltdowns with loud, dramatic crying at her desk. The trial by fire is in school, where if you show emotional weakness around the other kids who don't care about you or are hostile, you become a target of abuse. We are expected to "keep it together" UNLESS we're in a safe environment to be vulnerable. If I just met someone, have no investment in them, barely know them, and they are throwing strong emotional displays at me, then that will probably make me uncomfortable.
See, there is this thing called "emotional labor" and I know it's one of those feminist liberal language buzzwords that gets people's backs up, but hear me out. It's the task of being "there" for someone. Of hearing them in their sorrows and giving comfort, of sharing their triumphs and being proud...this is what we do for our close people, our dear friends, family, bonded partners. It should not be lightly demanded of a stranger.
So when I am connected and invested romantically in a man, then I love his emotionality. It should be part of the specialness of US that he CAN show me his feelings, be vulnerable with me. I definitely don't want stoicism in a romantic partner. But at the same time, he's got to be able to hear me, and give ME some emotional labor, to comfort me if I'm in distress, to share life's joys with me.
The problem, in relationships, is when one person demands all of the emotional support from the other and gives none back. I had that in my ex. Everything was about him, no one had valid feelings or experiences, but him. If I had a problem, he instantly had a bigger one. If I had a moment of joy, he could not be bothered to share it, and his attitude was always, "how can you expect me to care about your stuff, look at all of my stuff! Me, me, me, focus on ME!" People who do that, simply don't make good partners.
Frankly, if my current boyfriend had shared the depth of his pain, the despair he'd gone through in life, the loneliness he'd suffered, in a seriously emotional way, the very first night we met, I would have been put off by that. It was too soon, then. A few months in, hearing about it only made me wish I'd been there to make his life better, sooner. He cries at movies. I love him for it. It's endearing. Now it's endearing. In the early days, it would have just been awkward.
I hear you, but how about in moments of grief or when men are upset or hurt by something/someone?
There is a silent expectation that we're supposed to internalize our emotions for the most part.
No, there is not such expectation. There are only leftover stereotypes from bygone eras. Crying in grief or distress is perfectly normal and healthy. Heck, my dad would cry whenever one of his beloved dogs died/had to be put down. There's no shame in that. Men cry after the breakup of a particularly long-term relationship or marriage, even the "tough" guys who think they have to hold it all in. This is normal.
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